Awkward.

Previously on Awkward...

Jenna, you could disappear and no one would notice.

Everyone one thinks I tried to kill myself. And there's a lame guy selling t-shirts.

- I don't think you tried to kill yourself. - Jenna, I like you.

I'm just not sure I'm ready to be in a relationship.

It was Saturday, but instead of kicking back

my mother was forcing me to attend a party

Thrown by the elite mother/daughter charity league,

known as the knick-knackers.

Unfortunately, three spots were open,

and I was sick at the thought of actually landing one.

'Cause the knick-knackers

weren't obsessed with helping the homeless.

They were obsessed with plastic.

Plastic was the power currency of Palos Verdes,

in the skin and in the wallet.

To be a certified P.V. mom

meant you had to rock a bodacious body

and a black AmEx,

neither of which were earned by a day job.

To a P.V. mom, "working" meant working out

or working a room

or being a knick-knacker.

And my mom was gonna stay up in my grill

until she became one.

Sweetie, please try and make a good impression.

- I'm trying. - Try harder.

Did we miss anything?

Tamara was positively paranoid getting ready.

'Cause you hijacked my fave footies.

Mom, I did you a solid.

You can't wear sandals with a tweaked toe stitch.

Do these wedges look cheapsky?

No, not at all. No, they look very chic.

Love you.

Okay, now it's time to divide...

And conquer.

Where is your name tag?

I'm trying to keep a low pro.

Heed off any embarrassment for you.

Too late.

As always, I was powerless

to my mother's subtle persuasion.

I was also strangely powerless to the feeling

that the house belonged to someone emotionally disturbed.

Or worse, evil incarnate.

Mo to the fo.

I was in Sadie Saxton's house.

You know this is a charity league,

not a charity, right?

Can I get a name tag?

When you cut your name across your wrist,

is it with one "n" or two?

Ha. Two.

You're welcome.

Whoa there.

Hi, I didn't expect to see you here.

Just a little part-time gig.

Sadie hooked me up. So what's going on?

You wanna be a knick-knacker?

No, I do not.

My mother does.

I'm here under duress.

Well, you look nice.

- I do? - Yeah.

Thank you.

So did you get my text?

About hanging out tonight, yes.

But I... Better get back to work.

Is McKibben schlocking cocktails?

Yes, we just talked.

But he seemed a little distant.

Do I look like a howker?

My mom made me wear mascara.

Or do you think Matty knows Jake kissed me?

No way. Guys don't talk.

Plus, you said it was an accident.

I'd say the freak-a-deak was in response

to your name tag.

Bitch.

You have to be cruel to be kind.

Why does that expression sound so familiar?

It's number seven on the letter.

You have to be cruel to be kind.

Both: Sadie wrote the letter!

Welcome, ladies.

I am Darlene Saxton,

president of the knick-knackers,

and this is my beautiful and dedicated daughter Sadie.

Beautiful? Questionable.

Dedicated? Not a question.

Sadie was dedicated to making my life hell.

After today's orientation,

A few of you will be invited to join a chapter event,

and from there three of you will be initiated.

Okay, go. Pretend to fit in.

What do you think?

It was the mother of my enemy.

I like it. Is it Gessick?

You have a good eye.

My husband, he thinks it's pretentious vandalism.

But really, it's my husband who's pretentious.

Darlene seemed cool.

Maybe Sadie was adopted.

I just bought another piece.

Come.

Your home is spectacular.

I know.

But it'll need a serious scrubbing

after all the trash leaves.

It must be frustrating

putting on a show with girls you don't like.

I don't. I tell it like I see it.

And as I see it, there's a girl here

who should be shot.

Your hair has so much shine.

Thank you, it's natural.

I wish my daughter had that shine.

Do you know Jenna?

Only by reputation.

She seems very special.

Oh, especially when she does her hair.

So why is she... never mind.

No, you can ask me anything.

Is she mentally ill?

Honey, can you fix my friend up with a drink please?

Excuse me.

Ah, Sabrina.

What do you want?

I wanted to hang out with him.

- Ginger ale? - Any ginger ale down there?

I hadn't seen Jake since he'd impulsively

shoved his tongue down my throat.

And by the look of him,

you'd have thought I never gave it back.

Babe.

Anyway, babe, make sure you grab

a bottle of schnapps for later,'kay?

L-ee!

Dude. What's going on?

Miss Montgomery feel you up too?

Okay, look, here's the deal.

Okay, but you gotta promise

You're not gonna tell anybody, okay?

Yeah, put away your titties and tell me.

I kissed Jenna Hamilton.

- What? - Just...

What are you doing?

Snooping. I found Satan's room.

Oh, we should not be in here.

Of course we should.

The cow has perpetually tried sabotaging your life.

Time to sabotage hers.

What are you doing?

- I'm gonna pee on her bed. - You can't.

You're right. It'll leave DNA.

She has straight a's?

Made sense.

To be a raging bitch, Sadie had to be clever.

And to be clever, she had to be smart.

Of course.

She rides horses.

Dude, how big is that horse?

O.M.G.

I found the mother lode.

That's not cool. That's her diary.

What a you doing in here?

Adjusting.

Jenna sat on a votive, so we had to hide the hole.

All done. No more ass crack.

Okay!

The diary was seductive,

And yet reading it just didn't...

- Ahh! - Sit right.

I think our chances are strong.

Did you see how much darlene took a liking to you?

We are all but in.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

We can volunteer on our own.

Yeah, but then what's in it for us?

Sweetie, are you feeling too much pressure?

Mrs. Saxton's daughter mentioned...

Sadie. What did Sadie mention?

She said you were acting a little strange at school.

Are you feeling okay?

- She seemed really worried. - I'm sure she is.

But there's nothing to worry about, mom.

We are gonna rock the knick-knackers.

We are!

Now I am gonna go rock dinner.

Enough was enough.

I was tired of being powerless

to Sadie's sinister savagery.

It was time for me to employ my own mean girl ammunition.

But it turns out,

I didn't just have Sadie's diary.

I had her food journal.

And the one thing Sadie would never want to get out,

her weight.

It's her food diary?