Burn Notice

Covert intelligence involves a lot of waiting around.

Know what it's like being a spy?

Like sitting in your dentist's reception area 24 hours a day.

You read magazines, sip coffee, and ever so often someone tries to kill you.

Get in.

You know, Mercedes makes an S.U.V. now.

Big backseat. It's great.

Surprisingly affordable too.

C.I.A.

What do you say to that? No?

Explain that a lot of spies don't work directly for the C.I.A.?

Lot of good that'll do.

Welcome!

Mr. C.I.A. No, no, no, no. I don't work for anybody directly.

That's why I get to do stuff like give you $750,000...

to stop blowing up oil refineries.

Come.

Hi. Hi. Hi, everybody.

Whoa. Easy, guys. Easy. Just gettin' a map.

You guarantee security for the Nembe oil field. No fires, no explosions.

Nobody falls into a swamp and gets eaten by an alligator.

- You mean crocodile. - Yes, that's... I-I mean crocodile.

We agreed? Da.

I'm now reaching into my jacket for my phone...

so I can get this man his money, see?

That's okay.

Hello. Yes, I have the wire transfer information.

The A.B.A. number is 0210010175.

It's off. We got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted.

Excuse me? I'm sorry.

Is there problem?

No, no problem. Computer mix-up... P.C., Mac.

Hello? Put your boss on the phone right now.

I'm sorry. I can't help you.

I have a wire transfer number: 0210010...

You C.I.A. bastard! You think you can steal from me?

Sometimes the truth hurts.

In these situations, I recommend lying.

C.I.A! I'm C.I... I'm C.I.A.! I've got your money!

Enough, enough! Pick him up.

I've got the money. It's not here. I can take you to it though.

I was gonna steal it and blame it on you guys. It's not personal. Okay?

I was just... It was what I was gonna do.

Uh, in 20 minutes, you'll have your money. I promise.

Take him.

I need the bathroom. I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna...

Wait, wait! I'm gonna be sick. I need the bathroom!

I... I'm gonna be sick in the Mercedes, you understand?

In the Mercedes... Blood everywhere.

In a fight, you have to be careful...

not to break the little bones in your hand on someone's face.

That's why I like bathrooms. Lots of hard surfaces.

Sorry. I'll leave it at the airport.

Quick, quick!

Southern Nigeria isn't my favorite place in the world.

It's unstable, it's corrupt,

and the people there eat a lot of terrible-smelling preserved fish.

I will say this for Nigeria though... It's the gun-running capital of Africa.

And that makes it a bad place to drive a passenger sedan into a crowded market.

Back off! Back off!

Right this way, sir.

If you're gonna collapse on a plane, I recommend business class.

The seats are bigger if you start convulsing.

Although once you pass out...

Are you okay?

It really doesn't matter.

Oh, no.

You're a lucky man.

That many bruises, anyone would think you fell under a truck.

Fiona, what are you doin'?

You've been out for a couple of days. The maid got curious, went through your stuff.

You still have me in your wallet as your emergency contact.

You take that out when you leave someone, you know.

Flattered you came. Don't be.

I needed to get out of New York anyway.

Old associates sniffing around.

And I wanted to try someplace sunny,

and it sounded like you might die.

I-I wanted to be there at the end...

to tell you what a bastard you were.

- Sunny. Where am I? - Miami.

Apparently, you collapsed on the flight out of Nigeria.

Miami? Why am I here?

The airline would only say they were instructed to fly you here.

Instructed? What does that mean?

It's... It's home, in a manner of speaking, isn't it?

Oh! I called your mom.

- My mother? - Yeah, yeah. We had a lovely chat.

She's thrilled you're home for Christmas.

Home for... Uh, no. I'm not home. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna go.

Leavin'? Uh, yeah.

Yeah. You're good at that.

Yeah, it's just better if my mother and I aren't in the same hemisphere.

Fiona, someone put a burn notice out on me.

I gotta take care of this now,

or a few cracked ribs will be the least of my worries.

Surveillance. Two-man team, F.B.I.

Fi, why don't you go run interference for me? Please, Fi. Come on.

Make one of those scenes of yours, you know?

Bite one of 'em. Set the other on fire. Just do it in about 10 minutes.

I need to clean up.

You'll owe me dinner.

Fine.

Most people would be thrilled to be dumped in Miami.

Sadly, I am not most people.

Spend a few years as a covert operative,

and a sunny beach just looks like a vulnerable tactical position with no decent cover.

I've never found a good way to hide a gun in a bathing suit.

Welcome to the Chadwicke, sir. I need a room one, maybe two nights.

We've got a 10th-floor suite with an ocean view.

Uh, I don't want a view. Uh, facing a wall, something with no windows, if you have it.

Far from the elevators, close to the exits, if you have it.

Hmm. Do you have another card? Uh, this one was declined.

Declined?

I... I don't care what the computer says.

I want my money from my account.

I understand that, sir. I...

Let me check with the manager.

When a spy gets fired,

he doesn't get a call from the lady in H.R. and a gold watch.

They cut him off. They make sure he can never work again.

They can't take away his skills or what's in his head,

so they take away the resources that allow him to function.

They burn him. All I know is the account is frozen.

The, um, code is government related.

If you care to discuss this with the police...

Hey! Hi.

You look like you could use a free hat.

Uh, pay phone? Huh?

You put coins in and then...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, right over there.

Hello. I need to speak with Dan Siebels.

I'm sorry. There's no one here by that name. He's my case officer.

I need to speak with him. I know the protocol. Sir...

I know you're just doing your job, but I don't have access to a secure line.

I'm sorry, sir. I can't help you. This is Michael Westen...

Just put Dan on the phone! Sir, I can't help you.

He's my handler. I've worked with him for 15 goddamn years...

Sir, there is no one here by that name.

Sorry, kid. Please, we trained together.

Uh, there's a Lucite plaque on his desk with a bullet hole in it. He drinks Sprite.

He's a friend. I cannot express enough how urgent this... Sir, I can't help you.

No, no! Don't hang up on me! You hung up. Oh...

When you're being watched, what you need is contrast...

A background that will make the surveillance stand out.

An F.B.I. field office is full of guys in their 40s.

At most South Beach business hotels,

it would be tough to tell which middle-aged white guy was watching you.

So you stay in the place where everyone is a Jell-o shot away from alcohol poisoning.

If you see someone who can walk a straight line, that's the fed.

In Miami. I need the address for SecuriCorp.

Brickell Ave. South?

Thanks.

Sorry. Wrong room. Come on.

No, wait. He's kind of hot.

Just...

Kids, come here.

See that cop?

I'll give you guys five bucks each if you go over and tell him...

that a man in that car over there tried to make you sit on his lap.

Can you do that?

Make it 10 bucks each.

Fifteen, but you split it. All right.

For 15, I want tears.

All right, dog.

Sick!

Hey, you. Step out of the car. Come on. Come on out.

Get out of the car. Come on, come on. Wai-Wai-Wait.

Officer, uh, Anderson. Let me show I.D. Yes, yes. Yes, yes.

Hey, now, no, no! Come on! Whoa! Come on!

Need to go someplace you're not wanted?

Any uniform store will sell you a messenger outfit,

and any messenger can get past a security desk.

Show him in.

Janet, can you give us a minute?

Wow! What an office.

Michael, what are you doing here? You cannot be here.

You heard then.

Are you kidding? You've been flagged on every government list.

- Why didn't you call me? - Would you have seen me if I did?

Of course not. Michael, you were always good at pissing people off, but this?

It's a mistake. It has to be. Just tell me what you've heard.

I don't know the details. I just heard you were out. That's it.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm just out?

Am I your complaint hotline? It's what I heard. Lucy, I'm broke.

Bottom line, they trashed my credit, they froze my bank accounts.

If I'm gonna figure this out, I need to put some money together.

I don't have stacks of cash laying around, and even if I did, I...

- Lucy. - Michael.

Michael.

Okay, there may be something. I'll call Sam.

Sam? Sam Axe? You still work with him? Not when I can avoid it.

He's been drinking, sponging off of every rich divorcée in the greater Miami area.

I throw him a job every now and then when he's between sugar mommies.

- What's the job? - Guy's an operation manager at an estate in Miami Beach.

Anyway, the place got robbed, and it looks like he's in some kind of trouble.

What kind of trouble? He didn't want to get into it. We talked price.

Guy's breaking open his piggy bank.

I told him the job was a little small for us, but he sounded desperate,