King of the Hill

And a notch up from the Vogner Char King Superiore

is the Char King Imperiale.

Vogner's a fantastic company.

They're based right over in El Paso so they've got American ingenuity

and Texas craftsmanship built right in...

Yeah, yeah, I know. I bought an Imperiale here eight years ago.

I think you were the guy that sold it to me.

Heh, well, I've been preaching the word of Vogner for the past 20 years.

All the faces kind of blend together.

Shug, sorry to bother you at work

but I got a little propane crisis.

I'll be right back.

What do you need, new tank?

Tank checked? Tank wiped?

I bought a hot tub but right now it's all tub and no hot.

Can you rig up some propane thingamajiggy?

A hot tub? Uh...

Well, you see, Nancy, propane is a family gas.

I've never approved of it being used to promote alternative lifestyles.

Oh, Hank, please.

It's my anniversary present to Dale.

Couldn't you just send it on back to California for servicing.

I want to surprise him with it tonight.

It's our first anniversary since I...

um... well, you know,

stopped cheating on him with John Redcorn.

I suppose I could take a look.

Maybe I can adapt the unit we use

to heat the water over at the pig-scalding plant.

I mean, it is your anniversary.

I've got to tell you, Nancy.

I've never done this before. It's all so weird.

The bonnet valves are bolted, not screwed.

The regulators are back-mounted.

If I... if I could... just...

get it to...

work...

Yes! Yes, I did it!

Let me slip into the driver's seat and give this baby a test run.

What you're going to want to go ahead and do

is submerge your entire... self.

That way, you can accurately measure the evenness of the heat.

Mm, mm, mm.

I am pudding.

Hank, you're amazing.

Oh, well, heh-heh, yeah... you know.

-(objects clattering) Damn it!

Dale's home.

HANK (quietly): Happy anniversary.

Thank you for choosing Strickland Propane.

Happy anniversary, shug!

Wingo! A love tub!

There goes your present.

Believe me when I tell you

that was the wildest water heater repair I've done in my entire life.

Hank, you know what that can-do attitude of yours does to me.

It is Tuesday night.

Sorry, Peggy.

My mind's somewhere else...

in a steaming tub of propane powered relaxation.

Good idea, Hank.

Save it up for tomorrow.

We will be explosive.

Uh, how do you like your burger?

Medium or medium rare?

Medium, shug.

Okay, then.

Mmm, oh... yeah.

Mm, you make a delicious burger, shug.

Thanks. But the Char King does most of the work.

Mm, mm...

And, Bobby, what would you like for breakfast?

I don't care. Anything.

No fruit!

Here are your eggs, Hank.

I cannot legally call it a McMuffin

but you will never know the difference.

You know, I had the craziest dream last night.

Oh, my God, me too.

Who did you murder?

Nobody. It was a good dream.

A great dream. Wish I could remember it.

It seemed really important. Dang, what was it?

Wait, wait, I was grilling.

Yeah, I was grilling burgers.

We've heard this one, Dad.

No, it wasn't the giant burgers.

There was more.

I was in the backyard, and I was feeling really good.

Uh... Bobby,

why don't you take my breakfast egg sandwich

and eat it in your room.

In case you change your mind.

Peggy, you're not going to believe this.

I was naked.

I was grilling burgers naked.

How do you like that?

And then when the burger was just right

I slid it on a kaiser roll

and I fed it to...

Uh...

Fed it to me, yeah, yeah, and then what did I do?

Uh, you ate it, and you said it tasted good.

Oh.

-Principal Moss. -Huh?

I murdered Principal Moss, Hank.

But then instead of making me the new principal,

they appointed me queen of the school district.

I had an emerald crown.

-Hey, John Redcorn. -Hank.

Uh, yeah, John Redcorn I had a dream last night.

-You got a minute? -Come in.

I'll brew some chamomile tea.

And the woman in my dream,

the one without the clothing was not my wife.

And needless to say, that is not a dream I intended to have.

My people believe that dreams are the unconscious mind

trying to solve a problem that the conscious mind cannot.

Is there anything unusual going on with you?

Nope. Everything's the same as it's always been

for as long as I can remember.

Yup. Same ol' same ol'.

Is it possible that after 20 years of marriage

you're a little tired of your wife?

What? That's crazy.

Our romantic life is as good as the day we were married.

It hasn't changed a bit.

Yup, we've got a great routine.

If I were bored of Peggy

I'd be having dreams in which I was bored of Peggy.

Not grilling naked with the neighbor's wife.

Minh.

Uh... no.

It's Nancy?

My Nancy?

You're having dirty dreams about my sweet Nan Nan!

Say, is that a new suede vest?

Nancy used to like it when I kept the vest on during sex.

-Do you want it? -Oh, God.

-Here, take it. Take it all! -(groans)

Hank, get on your swim trunks.

We are going hot tubbing at the Gribble's.

Oh, here. I have an extra nose-clip for you.

Oh, uh... hi, Nancy.

I just wanted to thank you for your help, shug.

Dale loved the gift.

Yeah, uh, uh... yeah, that's nice,

but I'm kind of not in the mood for hot tubbing tonight.

Not in the mood?

Hank, I cannot get out of it.

I already invited us. It would be rude.

Sorry, shugs, but I don't know where Dale went off to.

He might be in the basement but I don't like going down there.

Oh, uh, hey, Nancy.

I see you've got some cheese there.

It's just American singles, but I cut them into little squares.

Uh, I hate to play the narrow urethra card

but I'm not going to be able to stay in here too long.

Mm.

Don't you think this is exactly what Paris is like?

Ahh.

Feel that heat.

Yup, 102 degrees.

I had a fever of 102 once.

Took some aspirin, went right down.

Speaking of hot,

Hank had quite a spicy dream last night.

-Peggy! -Oh, lighten up...

we're hot tubbing, have some cheese.

Hank dreamt that he and I were grilling naked in the backyard.

Isn't that the sexiest thing you've ever heard?

No one makes cheese like the Americans, I tell you what.

Nancy, get out of the tub!

Electric toaster!

What the hell are you doing?

I know all about your naked dream with my wife.

-What? -That's right.

John Redcorn told me everything.

He's a true friend, unlike you.

Wait, you, me, and Nancy were naked?

You? There wasn't room for you in Hank's kinky little dream world.

Are you sure it wasn't me wearing a Nancy mask?

I'm sorry.

Hank, stay right there.

I need to borrow your extension cord.

Hank, I ask you this not as a jealous wife but as a curious educator...

are you attracted to Nancy?

Absolutely not.

You know I don't go for those... sexy types.

It was just the one dream,

and the only reason I didn't tell you the truth is because

you know, I'm not comfortable talking about this kind of stuff.

You told John Redcorn,

and you know he is a terrible gossip.