Psych

PREVIOUSLY, ON PSYCH...

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. JUST SAY IT. SAY WHAT IT IS.

I DON'T WANNA FEEL GUILTY ABOUT MOVING ON WITH MY LIFE.

YOUR MOTHER'S NOT A PART OF IT ANYMORE.

LOOK, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO, OKAY?

I DON'T CARE!

MOM.

DISPATCH, WE'VE LOCATED THE STOLEN VEHICLE.

OCCUPANTS INSIDE. APPROACHING NOW.

10-4. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

HENRY.

YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE, RAY.

THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES.

WE'RE WAY PAST CONSEQUENCES.

THIS NEEDS TO END TONIGHT.

WHOOPS.

WHOOPS.

IT'S MY NEIGHBOR'S CAR. WE WERE GONNA PUT IT BACK.

IT WAS JUST A DARE.

IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE, OFFICER?

YOU WANTED MY ATTENTION, SHAWN.

YOU GOT IT, BUDDY.

WAIT, YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?

YEAH, HE'S SORT OF MY DAD.

WHOA.

I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK

FOR THAT WORLD'S GREATEST DAD MUG BACK.

YOU JUST KEEP TALKING, SHAWN.

YOU KEEP TALKING.

OH, DON'T WORRY, I WILL.

LIKE WHEN I READ YOU YOUR RIGHTS.

OOH, I HAVE RIGHTS.

THAT'LL BE NEW AND FUN.

WHAT AM I GONNA TELL YOUR MOTHER?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AHOLD OF HER NEW PHONE NUMBER?

I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT, SMART-ASS.

THIS OFFICIALLY ENDS YOUR CHANCE OF BEING A COP.

LET'S BE HONEST.

I GAVE UP WANTING TO BE LIKE YOU

A LONG TIME AGO.

THAT'S IT! SOMEBODY BOOK HIM!

YOU--BEANPOLE. GET OVER HERE.

FINGERPRINT HIM NOW!

OH, I'M SO--I'M SORRY. ME?

NEVER MIND, ROOKIE.

I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

BURTON GUSTER.

DUDE, I'M FREAKING OUT.

YOU HAVE TO HELP ME. WHAT'S WRONG?

MY MOM'S HERE.

SHE'S BACK IN THE COUNTRY?

BACK IN THE COUNTRY? TRY--TRY BACK IN THIS CITY.

TRY DOWNSTAIRS IN MY DAD'S KITCHEN.

WHERE ARE YOU?

HIDING OUT IN MY BEDROOM.

OH, MY GOD. HOLY CRAP.

I JUST FOUND AN ENTIRE, UNOPENED BOX OF SHRINKY DINKS.

YOU'RE HIDING IN YOUR BEDROOM BECAUSE YOUR MOM CAME TO VISIT?

DUDE, YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS.

ARE YOU HEARING WHAT I'M SAYING?

MY MOM IS STANDING DOWNSTAIRS IN MY DAD'S KITCHEN,

LAUGHING IT UP, HAVING A GRAND OLD TIME.

YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S A LITTLE WEIRD?

AND YOU'RE UNHAPPY SHE'S HERE.

NO, I'M NOT UNHAPPY SHE'S...HERE.

I DON'T KNOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN THREE YEARS.

SHE USED TO... TELL ME EVERYTHING.

WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?

WORKING.

FOR THE POLICE DEPARTMENT?

I GUESS. I DON'T KNOW.

I HAVEN'T...FOUND OUT MUCH,

BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, IT'S 1988 IN MY HOUSE,

AND NO ONE FELT THE NEED TO TELL ME ANYTHING.

BUT...I KNOW MY DAD IS BEHIND ALL OF THIS.

OH, MY GOD.

DUDE, DID YOU KNOW I HAD A FURBY?

SHAWN, I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS.

I'VE GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS.

I HAVE TO GO SEE FRANKJIM OGLETREE.

FRANKJIM OGLETREE?

IS THAT A PERSON OR A HIPPOPOTAMUS?

HE'S THE NEW REGIONAL SALES MANAGER,

MY IMMEDIATE BOSS, AND A TYRANT.

THEY CALL HIM THE LITTLE PINOCHET.

THAT'S TOO ABSTRACT.

WHY DON'T THEY JUST CALL HIM JERK PANTS

OR SUCK MCJONES.

THEY'RE M.I.T. GUYS, SHAWN.

NOW GO FACE YOUR PARENTS.

YOU'VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE YOUR MOM FOREVER.

AND TELL HER I'M COMING BY FOR SOME JELL-O CAKE.

HOLY--DUDE!

I JUST FOUND A PRISTINE ISSUE OF DYNAMITE MAGAZINE.

SQUARE PEGS ON THE COVER.

HOLD ON, I'M GONNA READ "BUMMERS" TO YOU.

THE CHEESE KNIFE IS IN THE SAME PLACE, RIGHT?

YEAH, IT'S RIGHT THERE.

YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU A HAND, HON?

DID YOU JUST CALL ME HONEY?

I DID NOT.

I WAS GOING TO SAY... HUNCHBACK.

OH, SHAWNY, LOOK AT THIS.

NOT ONLY DOES YOUR FATHER

OWN A VERY EXPENSIVE BOTTLE OF BORDEAUX,

HE HAND-MADE LITTLE CUCUMBER SANDWICHES.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?

WOW, HE IS JUST CHOCK FULL OF SURPRISES TODAY.

WHAT? I'M ALLOWED TO EXPAND MY HORIZONS, RIGHT?

AHH.

I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU, MOM.

AWW.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN TOWN?

WELL, SOME POLICE DEPARTMENTS

OCCASIONALLY CALL ME UP

TO COME BACK AND DO PSYCH EVALUATIONS.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THIS?

NOT LONG. I ALMOST DIDN'T DO IT.

I CHANGED MY MIND AT THE LAST SECOND.

I'M DOING SANTA BARBARA P.D.,

A FEW IN SAN DIEGO, THE BAY AREA.

WHEN ARE OUR DINNER RESERVATIONS, HENRY?

OH, THERE'S DINNER PLANS TONIGHT!

YOU CAN MAKE IT, RIGHT?

OF COURSE HE CAN MAKE IT.

OF COURSE I WILL COME.

I JUST... NEED TO CANCEL A DATE.

BUT THAT IS NOT A BIG DEAL.

YOU MADE OTHER PLANS?

I DIDN'T MAKE OTHER PLANS.

I--I DIDN'T KNOW.

DIDN'T KNOW WHAT?

THAT YOU WERE COMING.

HENRY, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM I WAS COMING?

HE DOESN'T HAVE A PHONE.

YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE?

I DO.

ARE YOU HAVING MONEY PROBLEMS?

HENRY, WHY DON'T YOU BUY HIM A PHONE?

MOM, I'M FINE.

I'M NOT HAVING MONEY PROBLEMS.

UH...

I'M--I DROPPED MY PHONE

WHILE I WAS SOLVING A VERY IMPORTANT CRIME.

IT WAS ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEWSPAPER YESTERDAY.

YEAH.

MAY I SPEAK WITH YOU PRIVATELY?

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THERE?

I TRIED TO TELL YOU, SHAWN.

ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE TRYING.

"SHAWN, GUESS WHO'S COMING BACK INTO THE COUNTRY ON FRIDAY.

YOUR MOTHER." THAT'S IT--MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

LOOK, I WANTED TO CLEAR THE AIR ON A FEW THINGS

BEFORE SHE GOT HERE.

CLEAR THE AIR?

YOU THINK YOU CAN UNDO 15 YEARS OF HARD FEELINGS

WITH A BOTTLE OF PINOT...

BORDEAUX.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WAL-MART HAD A WINE CELLAR.

LOOK, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A BREAK.

I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE A NICE NIGHT FOR HER HERE.

YOU'RE SABOTAGING ME.

WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I'M GONNA FIGURE IT OUT.

YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, MR. OGLETREE?

SHUT THE DOOR, BURTON.

I...WAS READING THE PAPER...

YESTERDAY...

AND SOMETHING CAUGHT MY ATTENTION.

HAVE TO SAY I WAS SURPRISED,

CONSIDERING YOU SEEM TO ALREADY HAVE A FULL-TIME JOB.

THIS IS...JUST...

SOMETHING I DO ON THE SIDE.

A HOBBY, REALLY, LIKE...

COLLECTING THIMBLES OR, UM,

RAISING CARRIER PIGEONS.

YOU RAISE CARRIER PIGEONS?

NO, NOT AT ALL.

THAT'S TOTALLY LAME.

I JUST SAID THAT BECAUSE I WAS FLUSTERED.

I RAISE CARRIER PIGEONS.

I'M GLAD YOU SAID THAT.

BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID TO TELL YOU HOW COOL

I THOUGHT CARRIER PIGEONS ARE.

FLYING AROUND AND... CARRYING STUFF.

COMING BACK.

AWESOME.

I HEAR THAT.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE EXCLUSIVITY CLAUSE

IN YOUR CONTRACT?

IT MEANS WE DON'T ALLOW SECOND JOBS.

JOBS?

NO, NO.

PSYCH IS MORE LIKE COMMUNITY SERVICE.

AND IT NEVER AFFECTS MY WORK.

WELL...

UH, THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN THURSDAY NIGHT.