Music (音楽)

Your face looks cramped.

That's called Tick. It's a sign of hysteria.

If you try to suppress it it will only become worse!

Doctor!

What shall I do?

I have no appetite. And I always feel nausea.

No medicine can cure me.

I think that...

... I might be pregnant!

You are working at a trade-company and still unmarried, right?

Any reasons to think of pregnancy??

Yes!

I went to see my gynecologist.

They did not find any sign of pregnancy.

I was sent to an internist.

They did all kinds of tests, but...

They said I was alright.

So you came to see me, a psychiatrist.

Doctor, what could it be?

I cannot hear any music!

Music?

Yes, music!

When watching TV or listening to the radio...

... I can hear sounds or people talking!

But when music starts...

... I can't hear anything!

Oh!

Music...?

So?

Can't you hear it?

I can't hear anything!

Your idea about being pregnant...

Are you still in a relationship with that man?

Yes!

It's this man!

He's my colleague.

His name is Ryuichi Egami.

He still appears so young. He is very popular at the workplace.

When did your sexual relationship start?

One night a year ago.

It was the second day after we became a couple.

The Second?

That was fast!

Was it the first time you allowed a man to...

The first time to...?

Was it your first sexual experience?

I am going to tell you everything.

My family has lived in the countryside for 17 generations.

My parents chose a fiance for me when I was still a little girl.

This guy...

...raped me!

From that day...

... I hated him!

I ran away from the countryside and went to college in Tokyo.

I didn't return home after graduation.

I started to work at the trade-company.

Did you tell Mr. Egami about your secret?

No ...

I ...

I want to marry him!

I can't tell him...

... about my dirty past.

You love him, don't you?

Yes!

I love him so much!

Doctor!

My lack of appetite and my nausea...

and that I cannot hear music..

Is it because I did not tell him about my secret?

An amateur should not try to analyse themselves.

Mental illness is not that simple.

Come and see me at length.

Fee for the checkup: 6000 Yen.

Consultation fee: 5000 Yen.

That makes 11.000 Yen, please.

I'll wait for you next week.

Yes!

I will come!

What a terrible bitch!

She's driving me mad!

Doctor?

You told me to come today...

I don't want to go there.

Why not?

The therapy will not work if we don't continue it!

But...

But after the first time ...

... I felt much worse!

I can't even look at food anymore.

And when I force myself to eat...

... I throw it all up.

What could happen...

... if I went there again?

I'm so scared!

It happens quite often that symptoms worsen at the beginning.

But that itself is even proof that the therapy is starting to work!

Don't worry and come!

But...

I would really like to cure your illness.

Please, come and see me.

When I come and see you...

... is it fun for you? - Yes!

It's a lot of fun for me!

Is that true?

Of course it is!

So it's true then.

Okay!

I'll be there!

What a drama.

She must be in love...

She knows that she has to come here...

But she wants to be desired by the doctor.

Just look at her self-portraits.

We'll see...

I know the reason.

I know why my symptoms have worsened.

So? Why?

I've told you a big lie.

That must have caused even more stress for me!

You've lied? About what?

Last time I told you that I could not hear any music, didn't I?

And that was a lie!

So you can hear music? - Yes...

Clearly!

Why did you lie to me?

I...

I cannot feel anything!

I could not tell you about "feeling" so I told you about "hearing".

You can't feel? Feel what?

Of course...

Sex!

No matter how often I go to bed with Egami...

I can't feel a thing!

For me it's no fun at all!

Look!

He's so good-looking and strong.

He had many girls before!

So he's very good in bed, but...

What's wrong?

Why have you stopped?

You...

Do you hate me?

Hate? I love you!

I love you so much!

Why doesn't it make you feel good then?

It's no fun like this!

Do I lack something as a man?

A failure?

What are you talking about?

You are wonderful!

So wonderful!

Stop playing games with me.

If you love me, let your body show that to me.

Make love to me once more.

I am sure I will feel something.

But...

A failure again.

I think it might work the next time...

...but nothing changes.

I even tried to fake it.

But he realised what I was doing and got angry.

I love him.

Why does that happen at such important moments?

That makes me feel so damned sad!

I think he might dump me.

I don't know what to do.

I see.

It's frigidity.

Yes! That's it! And because of it...

I've lost my appetite and got nausea!

I know the reasons for it.

If I could feel anything my illness would vanish.

Doctor, please! Make me feel something!

You are a bad patient.

Plan on playing games with me?

I feel so relieved now after talking about it.

Maybe I am fine now?

Your illness won't be cured that easily.

Okay.

Let's do a session of free associations.

Free...

... associations?

Close your eyes!

Tell me anything that comes onto your mind.

No matter if it makes you feel bad or embarrassed...

Or if you think it's not related. Tell me anything!

Understand?

Yes.

Okay.

Start telling me...

What comes into your mind?

I can see...

... a big old house.

It's Shun-chan's.

It's the house of the boy I was supposed to get married to.

I am there, as a child.

I am going inside. Deeper and deeper.

Shun-chan!

He tells me there is something interesting in the warehouse.

He wants to show it to me. But...