Weekend Family (Week-End Family)

-(SNORING) -(LAUGHTER)

Done. I just posted it.

Look. (CHUCKLES)

Fifteen likes and it's been two seconds.

He's got a double chin!

Wow. How long have I been asleep for?

You spent the whole night on the couch.

-What? -I was just kidding. Ten minutes.

-Hello. -You're here already?

Did Mom tell you she has a surprise?

Maybe she brought us a miniature pig.

What game is this?

It's the Smiths. It's so good.

See, I've got a nice house

with these big trees and everything you could want,

and there are characters and you can make them do real life stuff.

-Get your big, stinky feet out of here. -They don't stink.

I washed them a week ago.

That one's me.

So this is you on the throne? -Yeah.

And who's he standing next to you?

It's Alexis, the neighbor. He's my boyfriend.

But shh, Clara's jealous.

Ah. Okay.

And the girl fanning you, who's that?

That one's you.

Ta-da!

-Hello, everyone. Hey.

So what's the surprise?

All right. Thank you, honey.

This right here is a personal virtual assistant.

-It's ah-mazing. -Huh?

With this, the whole family will finally be organized.

There's no need.

Honestly, I have everything in my head. Seriously.

Yes, however, all of us here know you can be a bit...

-A bit what? -Get a bit overwhelmed.

-Never. -However. Now, with Axel,

you just need to synchronize the calendars.

All right, now. Give me your phone.

Thank you.

Let's begin.

Hello. I am Axel, your virtual personal assistant.

Axel, tell me the schedule for Victoire for the weekend.

Victoire needs to practice the guitar.

So, you schedule things like this. Uh...

-(IMITATES AXEL) A-ku-sel... -(LAUGHTER)

Sun-day fa-mi-ly

skate outing-uh.

-Careful. On Sunday... -Ah.

-Fred wrote down in his calendar: Huh?

Repeat showing of Babe: A Little Pig Goes a Long Way.

Oh, well. Yeah, uh...

Mmm. What are you doing, girls?

We're synchronizing Axel to our phones.

I'm gonna see how Marie-Ange did it with yours.

No, no, no, no. Please don't touch my phone.

Papa, the code isn't my birthday anymore?

Mmm-mmm-mmm. I changed it.

-You'll never guess what it is. -One-two-three-four, maybe?

One, two, three, four. Real tricky, Papa.

And why are you synchronizing all the phones?

It's really practical.

I'll connect it to the Smiths and it'll to remind me to feed my pigs.

Hello, Axel. My name's Victoire, and that's Romy.

Nice to meet you, Victoire.

Nice to meet you, Romy.

Congratulations, Romy.

Your miniature pigs will soon be adults.

You'll be able to go find truffles.

-Yes! It's synchronized! -This is great, see?

-Why are you crying, Daddy? -No, it's just the onions.

Why do they make people cry?

Oh, it's not the onions.

It's because you figured out my code. I'm so sad.

Wrong, Fred. It's a chemical reaction

with the lacrimal fluid within the eye.

See? It's awesome. It knows so much.

-It's super-intelligent. -It's also pretentious.

He doesn't understand how jokes work.

You're jealous.

Yeah, sure. Did I show you the new DIY I did?

No. Let me see.

I'll show you. Can you see it?

Laura. Laura! -Yeah, what?

You come in the room with no hello or anything?

I'm talking to Ourie right now.

-You also have a family, Clara. -Yeah, yeah.

Wait. How about now?

-Hello, everyone. -Hello.

It's a hair band I weaved from old pantyhose.

-Clara? -Yeah?

May I finish?

Ah. Excuse me. (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Sorry.

I'm worried about Clara.

On one hand, she's very secretive and barely says a word.

And on the other hand, whoever she's FaceTiming,

we can hear everything they're saying. It's just... (EXHALES)

Yeah, yeah, but teenagers are very contradictory.

It's classic.

The problem has nothing to do with the phones,

it's how we use them that's the issue.

Yep.

Hmm?

No, please continue. You stopped right in the middle.

Well, I think Clara's definition of privacy is just a little bit loose.

What are you saying?

Earlier I was taking a shower and she came in FaceTiming with Ouria.

Wow.

Yeah. Phew. It's bad, isn't it?

-What I want to say is... -Yeah.

It's not easy for children to understand the concept

-of what privacy is. -Of course.

Social media on our phones, we're sharing all the time.

So it's important for Clara and the girls to understand the...

that other people need to have their secret garden

in order to shape their personalities harmoniously.

All right. Is there a hidden meaning?

You're doing this thing with your hand that look like a triangle, so I'm...

-(LAUGHS) -That's why I don't talk about it.

-Come on now, I'm just kidding. -Hmm.

But listen, I'll talk to Clara

and then I'll install a lock on the bathroom door.

-You'll have privacy. -Thank you.

You see, huh? I did good.

-Good night. -What do you mean?

What do I mean "good night"? (GIGGLES)

-No, not good night. -Not good night?

Hello, Victoire. Did you sleep well last night?

Well, I had a dream that was really weird.

I was being chased by a whale and I run,

but since I didn't have any teeth, I couldn't eat it.

Hmm. Interesting.

Thanks, Axel.

Did you see that video of my dad drooling?

Dude, I'm making more for sure.

Papa, look! A new baby pig is born and it's so cute.

Yeah. Yeah. -Clara?

-Of course. -Could you please...

-I'll call you back. -Good.

We have our limits in this family.

We have our privacy and you have your privacy.

The way you've been using your phone,

you're creating a relationship with intimacy that's... that's...

How can I explain this?

We all have our secret garden of double chins.

It's great you like taking pictures.

That's great and everything, but it's not...

No. Because...

our double chin secret garden must stay

harmonious and secret.

It's personal.

It's personal, wouldn't you say?

Oh. Well, what your father wants to say is that there are private things

that shouldn't get out of the sphere of privacy.

Exactly what I said. That's it.

Congratulations, Romy.

-Your pigs found 20 kilos of truffles. -Yes!

You're talking about privacy, but Romy's recreating our family

in an online game and sharing it with her school.

-She hasn't done that. -She's totally done that.

-They're just characters. They're not... -Hand that over.

Oh, yeah. So the chick in the carriage isn't you?

And isn't the servant Emmanuelle?

And it's funny,

in the pigsty, there are two little female pigs.

There's Victoire and one with bangs.

So I guess that's me.

-What about me? Well, you're...

-What am I? I don't think you're there.

-I'm not there? Congratulations, Romy.

You can now go to the market to trade your truffles.

Yes!

You're addicted. Look at you. You're shaking.

I'm not addicted at all.

There you go.

Anyway, I don't even care.

Addicted. Not at all!

Open the Smiths.

Unable to comply.

"Female, nine years old.

"Hyperactivity symptoms. Addiction to video games."

That's me, though.

"Often experiences trouble sleeping

"and nocturnal enuresis."

Axel, what is enuresis?

Enuresis is the loss of bladder control.

In children it is commonly called "going pee pee in the bed."

What?

Speaker activated.

-Mmm. -Mmm. Okay. Let's go.

-(PHONE VIBRATING) -Oh. Wait, wait, wait.

-Hello. Hello, Emmanuelle?

I wanted to let you know that I received your latest chapters.

I'll read them this weekend and send feedback on Sunday.

-Sounds great. Thank you for... -Emmanuelle? Hello?

Is it impossible for you all to be quiet for once?

I'll call another time then.

-That's great. I look forward to it. -Bye, Emmanuelle.

He got annoyed because I posted one video on my account.