It's a SpongeBob Christmas (It's a SpongeBob Christmas!)

Merry Christmas, kids.

I bet you're wondering why ol' patchy

has this mail truck.

Well, this year I wanted

to be absolutely sure Santa got me letter.

So I gave Mr. mailman the day off.

- Do you even know how to get to the north pole?

- Oh, potty, you silly parrot.

Everybody knows that the directions to the north pole

are right in the lyrics of the song jingle bells.

okay, so we're looking for some fields then?

- No, patchy, the directions to the north pole

are in the song there goes Santa claus.

Scurvy brain.

- Yeah, well, we ain't turning till we see some fields.

- Look out, there's a fork in the road.

I don't see no fork.

Aah!

Aah!

While we wait for the truck to stop spinning,

let's see what spongebob is up to this Christmas.

Ready for Christmas, kids?

All: Aye, aye, captain.

I can't hear you!

All: Aye, aye, captain!

hi, squidward, what are you doing today?

to go away!

Okay.

ooh, what's that?

It's a trap.

A trap for Santa.

- Ooh, baited with Christmas treats.

hey, a cookie!

Merry Christmas, Sandy.

- Merry Christmas, spongebob.

Hi, Mr. krabs.

Are you ready for Christmas?

- Why, Christmas is me favorite time of the year.

After all, 'tis the season of getting.

- Don't you mean the season of giving?

Exactly.

The more you give, the more I get.

- Maybe you would get a real present from Santa

if you weren't the biggest jerk in bikini bottom.

- I'm way ahead of you, Karen.

There is one element in the known universe

that can turn even the nicest sap

into the biggest jerk they can be.

And I, plankton, have discovered it.

Behold, jerktonium.

I'll give everyone in bikini bottom

a present of the most innocent of all holiday goodies,

the fruitcake.

And each and every slice

will be laced with jerktonium.

Once ingested, no one can help becoming

the biggest, creepiest, meanest jerk ever.

And Santa will realize that Sheldon j. Plankton

isn't so bad after all.

And then I'll finally get what I really want for Christmas,

the krabby Patty secret formula.

And now for the main ingredient,

jerktonium.

Okay, jerktonium, do your stuff.

It is complete.

The jerkmaker 9000

will make doling out tainted fruitcake a breeze.

Now, who's gonna be my first victim?

- Hey, plankton, what you got there?

Hey!

Is that a fruitcake dispenser?

You don't suppose I could have a piece, do you?

Sure thing, fruitcake.

Here you go.

Hot from the oven and full of lovin'.

- Ooh.

Oh, hot! Hot! Hot!

Ahh.

Mmm. Wow, this is great.

So how do you feel?

Kind of cranky? - No.

- Sort of surly? - Mm-mm.

- Maybe just a little bit jerky?

No.

I feel just like this cake tastes,

absolutely delicious.

Hmm.

He must have gotten a piece without jerktonium.

Here, try some more.

- Don't mind if I do. Mmm.

How's your dander?

Is it up? - No.

How could I possibly be angry when my taste buds

are swimming in Christmas cheer?

Oh, boy.

Here comes some more.

Have some more!

Have a whole load!

Have a Baker's dozen.

Well? - Well--

I think everyone should taste your amazing fruitcake.

Mm, you know what?

Knock yourself out.

Stupid hunk of junk-tonium.

My gift to bikini bottom. Boy, oh, boy.

Hello, fellow revelers.

Would you like a Christmas treat?

Why sure, spongebob.

- Yeah, who doesn't like treats?

- Nothing loosens up the old pipes

like some fruitcake. Dig in.

- It's like a present for my mouth.

I knew you'd like it.

- Hey, did we come here to sing or eat fancy cake?

Whoa, calm down, bill.

What do you wanna sing?

- Well, I wanna sing the only Christmas song that matters

and that's jingle bells.

From the top. A one and a two and--

- no! Hold your holly!

We're singing the best Christmas song ever,

and that's silver bells.

- Wrong bells, buddy. - Hey!

I wanna sing "Randolph, the red-nosed seahorse."

- Oh, what is it with you and that song?

- It's great to see people so passionate about the holidays.

What's all the racket?

What do you know?

The jerktonium seems to work on these jerks.