Alien Private Eye

Uh!

All right, all right.

Where's the other half?

- Get away from me! - Give it to us.

Or we'll kill you. - Who are you?

Let go of me!

Yo! Let her go.

Let her go now.

What's your name?

Rene.

I'm Lemro.

What did they want?

- I don't know, I never saw them before.

You're the one who's being chased by thugs

and doesn't know why.

(chuckles) Let's go dancing.

- Love to. Wait a sec while I make a phone call.

Hello, Rob. How's it going, bud?

Can't make it over tonight.

I just met the most beautiful girl,

helped her out of a jam.

Now we're going dancing.

Yeah, major league yabbos.

Listen, by the end of the night, she'll be so hot for me.

I just say so, that's all.

Later, buddy.

Oh, my God!

- What the hell? Let's get the hell out of here!

We gotta get out! Hey, hey, Chico!

Oh, my God!

Ya!

Tell me who you are, asshole!

Talk!

Kilgore sent me.

What does he want?

He wants the disc.

What disc?

Ask the girl.

- Mess with me again, pal, and you're history.

I feel great.

- (Rene) How can you say that when we've just been shot at?

- Where I come from, this stuffs a piece of cake.

Oh? Where's that?

France.

Listen, before we do the story of my life,

don't you think it's about time for you

to come clean with me?

Who are these guys? What do they want from you?

I'll tell you...

but not until I trust you better.

You're so beautiful.

(moaning) Lemro, you're so good.

Take that stupid hat off.

That was great.

- I've never felt anything like that before.

What are you?

- An alien. - That's obvious.

What, are you prejudice or something?

No.

- Suppose I was an alien and Jewish. How'd you like that?

It has nothing to do with that.

- Suppose I was an alien and black. How'd that be?

I don't ever wanna see you again!

Dude. What was that all about?

I told her I was an alien.

Yo, dude. I told you never to do that.

She saw my ears.

- Why don't you get those things clipped, dude?

- Yeah, right. Then when I go back to my own planet,

all the people there will think I'm an asshole.

You're never going back, dude.

Stay here.

I'm going back.

Oh, yeah, right. When?

I don't know, but I'm going back.

There's a woman

here to see you.

Send her in, Suzy.

Rene! I knew you'd be back.

Call me Electra.

- What can I do for you? - You can find

something for me.

- Have a seat. - I prefer to stand.

- Tell me about it. - It's an artifact

of an ancient Egyptian civilization.

The secrets it contains are of the utmost importance

to our understanding of the development of Western culture.

What does it look like?

It's a perfect circle about this big.

It's black; jet black, with silver inscriptions

written out on both sides.

How did you lose it?

It was stolen from me.

When?

The day before yesterday.

Where?

- In my hotel room. Someone obviously knew I had it.

I was bringing it to New York.

I was going to meet with the Museum of Natural History.

These men broke into my room and took it from me.

What did they look like?

- They wore masks. I don't know what their faces were like.

May I have a drink?

- White wine? - Scotch and soda.

But one of them had a skull and cross bone set in gold

in one of his front teeth.

Some trees grow up twisted.

Can you help me?

I can.

May I ask you a personal question?

Go ahead.

Do you like Earth women?

I've been away from home a long time.

I've been getting very lonely.

You're very beautiful.

Your snicks are very solid.

Thank you.

How did you hear about me?

You've got a rep.

- Here? - Not here,

at home on Styx.

Why did you come to Earth?

- To bring the disc back to its rightful owners.

How did you get a hold of it?

Don't ask me so many questions.

- How did you find -- - Lemro, look.

That man.

He's been following me, Lemro.

I'm afraid of him.

I think he wants to kill me.

- Why? - He's coming up here

to talk to you, I'm sure of it.

Who is he?

It's him! He mustn't see me!

Let me hide in the closet.

Forget about it.

- Quick! - Be my guest.