Misfits

This is your chance to do something positive.

That's what community service is all about.

What is that?!

Aargh!

He's going to kill us.

You killed our probation worker!

Do you want to go for a drink with me?

I'm your probation worker.

You were just using me.

She was engaged to Tony, the first probation worker.

You've killed her!

I didn't mean to kill her! It was an accident.

- You look like a slut. - Are you for real?

You don't need to behave like this.

You can be so much better.

Morning!

- They did something to her. - Like brainwashed her or something?

Everyone was teasing me for being a virgin. I'm a nice person.

Argh!

What the fuck is going on?

Since when did you run around, jumping off buildings?!

Ever since I travelled back from the future.

You can't die! I love you.

I'll still be here.

- Where did you get that? - Guy in the mask.

- Who is he? - It's you.

If you become him, you're gonna leave me.

You're gonna travel back in time and you're gonna die.

And if I don't become him and travel back in time, you're going to die.

Promise me you won't go back.

I promise.

OK.

Now, then. There's someone here...

Someone here for you, madam.

There's a man...

I think he says he misses your roast dinners.

It's my husband!

He's saying, he's saying...

He's saying something about a ring.

I lost my wedding ring.

A wedding ring.

Thank you.

It's in the U-bend of the sink of the downstairs bathroom.

OK.

He says don't try and get it out yourself. You'll make a mess of it.

Get a plumber.

OK. I will.

- OK, OK, come on... - Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Anyone else, anyone else?

I'm getting a message from the spirit world.

It's for you.

Does the name...

... Sally... mean anything to you?

She wants to know...

... why?

She just has to know why you did it.

Hello?

You OK?

I think I've just seen a ghost.

Why would there be a goat in the community centre?

I didn't say a goat, I said a ghost, like the spirit of a dead person.

That makes more sense.

Who ever heard of a goat, just hanging out in a community centre?

She was in the corridor.

I think it was Sally, the probation worker.

Who was that?

Someone who wanted a power.

What, and you sold it to him?

Well, that is what I do.

What?

Your zombie ex-girlfriend tried to kill me,

and you're still dealing powers like nothing's happened!

How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?

This has got nothing to do with what happened with Shannon.

Do you know what he's gonna do with the powers?

No. Cos as long as they've got money, you don't ask questions.

I sold him the power to caffeinate beverages. It's harmless.

There was a guy who could control cheese and he was a fucking psycho!

So it's all right when I'm buying drinks and spending money on you.

- Where do you think it comes from? - You think I'm with you for money?

No, but I don't think you'd like it if I didn't have any, would ya?

Girls never do.

- What the fuck's the matter with you?! - You're a selfish prick.

You killed me. You owe me this.

I've always loved you.

Simon?

Are you all right?

What is it?

I'd never do anything to hurt you.

Really?

That makes it sound like you're going to do something to hurt me.

No.

OK.

Well, try and look less guilty next time.

Now you're doing your staring thing.

Sorry.

Fuck's sake.

All right?

- Do you need change? - What are you doing?

Well, there's no probation worker,

so I thought fuck it, smash your way into vending machine,

but it's toughened glass!

How desperate do they think people are to get a Twix?

Stupid.

Bitch!

Just forget about it.

Hi.

You're supposed to be dead.

That medium guy, he brought me back.

It's really good to see you.

And why are you here?

What I did to you...

I shouldn't have betrayed you like that. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I killed you.

I didn't mean to.

No, I know you didn't.

It wasn't meant to be like that.

Everything with Tony and...

my feelings for you.

Maybe that's why I'm here.

I think I've come back for you.

Simon?

Simon, are you in there?

Is that Alisha?

Are you two together?

- How the hell did that happen? - It's a long story.

What are you doing?

I have to go.

Simon...

Don't tell the others you've seen me again.

They wouldn't understand.

We'll figure out why I'm here.

Who are you talking to?

No-one. Myself.

You talk to yourself when you're taking a piss?

Sometimes.

I thought we were going to the shop.

That's him. That's the medium.

You, you fucking twat.

He said that you brought back the ghost of our dead probation worker.

Hey, what can I say? I communicate with the spirit world.

You were in that storm, weren't you?

Nope.

Oh, mate, even I know you're lying.

And I thought it were a goat.

I was a complete fraud, I was making up all kinds of stuff.

Then the storm struck, and I could actually communicate with spirits.

Sometimes they come back and they're wandering round like real people.

The first time it happened, it was this kid, who drowned in a lake.

Spooky little fucker. Scared the shit out of me!

Why do they come back?

Usually it's because they've got some unfinished business with the living,

something they need to do before they pass over into the spirit world.

Some bollocks like that.

So, what's the story with you and this probation worker?

Have you seen her again since she first appeared?

No.

OK. Let's see if we can communicate with her.

Are there any spirits

who wish to communicate with somebody present in this room?

Is anybody there?

God, I knew this would be a load of bollocks.

What is this?

Isn't that the girl who brainwashed us?

That's really impressive.

Only that's the wrong spirit.

What's going on?

It's that dickhead. He brought you back.

OK. Obviously you've got some issues to sort out, lots to talk about.

I've got to make some phone calls, so I'll leave you to it.

I'm Rudy.

Aloha.

It's Hawaiian.

Will someone please tell me why I'm here?

Really?!

You'd better not be here to fuck with us again.

Sorry about the whole brainwashing thing.

Got a little bit carried away.

Hey, don't sweat it.

- It's fine. - You weren't even there!

Yeah, I know, but you forgive and you forget, man. And I forgive you.

For what?

For whatever it was they were talking about.

What's it like? Being dead.

Well, the big news is there's no God.

Ohh, ho-ho! Thank fuck for that!

I might've done one or two things that weren't exactly...

Christian in the strictest sense of the word.

Well, none of it matters anyway, so...

Yeah, if there's no God. That's a result.

It's all right for you.

I dedicated my whole life to Him. I was always so good.

I never swore or drank or took drugs. I never even kissed a boy.

I was always just worrying about trying to do the right thing.

What's the right thing? Mm?

You know, is it right to sleep with your best friend's mother?

No.

So, do you think this is why you came back,

so you could do some stuff you missed out on?