Doctor Who

Judy! Judy what are you doing? Come on!

I want to hear the music!

You're going to get me in trouble.

Everyone knows there are ghosts in the hill.

Wait! You'll hear it in a minute.

That's ghosts.

If you stay out here listening to ghosts,

they will come out of the hill and eat you.

They won't. They will.

And I'll get the blame. Now, come on.

I can hear it.

Judy! No!

I'll put the story in the stone.

Judy!

Put your name there.

Doc-tor!

Doc-tor! Doc-tor! Doc-tor! Doc-tor!

*DOCTOR WHO" Season 10 Episode 10 Title: "The Eaters of Light"

Oh, where are we now?

Aberdeen, Scotland, 2nd century AD.

You weren't complaining when it was Mars, were you?

So why is Scotland suddenly more important

than guarding the vault and keeping your sacred oath?

She thinks she knows more about Romans than me.

Oh, well that's explained everything, thank you.

You don't know more about the Ninth Legion than me. You don't.

I read the book. I loved the book. I read everything...

- They disappeared. - Except they didn't.

They were annihilated in battle.

Then where's the big pile of bodies?

So where's the Ninth Legion?

If they'd left, they should still be leaving.

Can you see 5,000 Roman soldiers marching south?

Down there, by the river.

They'd have followed the river, that's what they did.

There is so much that you don't understand about Roman Britain.

- I got an A star. - "Got an A star."

I've lived in Roman Britain. Governed. Farmed.

Juggled.

And speaking as a former vestal virgin, second class,

- I can assure you. - I bet you...

..there's a Roman legion down there.

Hang on. Second class?

Fine. You go and check the river.

I'll go and find their last battlefield.

Fine. I'll meet you back here with a Roman soldier.

Yeah, but seriously - second class?

Yeah, it's a long story. Come on.

I honour you, Mother.

I honour you.

I honour all our dead.

I honour you, Father. I honour all our dead.

I honour you, Mother. I honour you, Father.

I honour all our dead.

5,000 Roman soldiers. Eyes peeled.

they must have left some kind of mark on the landscape.

Burning huts, slaughtered locals, sweetie wrappers.

Dark! Dark!

- Dark! - Doctor..

Dark! Doctor!

Look, a stone cairn - Pictish civilisation.

The bird!

What about it?

It said "dark".

Yes, well that's why we're hurrying,

because there's not much light at this time of day.

But it talked!

Well, of course it did. It's a crow. All crows talk.

They don't talk in the future. Course they do.

Human beings just stopped having intelligent conversations with them.

And they all took a bit of a huff.

Crows in the future are all in a huff?

Course they are. Haven't you noticed that noise they make?

It's like a mass sulk.

Come on. The sooner we get there, the sooner we'll know the answer.

- Yeah, I know, but... - Picts, early Celts. Loved stone cairns.

They built them under the ground but close to the sky.

They think they're doors between worlds.

Iron age churches.

What do you always find near churches?

Women in hats.

Exactly. Human settlement.

It's all a bit damp, though, isn't it?

It's Scotland, it's supposed to be damp.

A Roman soldier!

I wish I'd studied Latin so you could understand me.

I understand you.

- Sorry, what? - I understand you.

But you're... You're speaking English.

- What's English? - Er, what you're speaking in.

- You're speaking Latin. - I'm not.

That's Latin. You just said that in Latin.

Ah! It's the Doctor!

Or the TARDIS, or both. Something, a telepathic link.

Auto-translate. That's why everyone in space speaks English.

What on earth are you talking about?

Oh, my God, it even does lip-sync.

- Who are you? - I'm Bill.

Are you from the Ninth Legion?

Yes.

Yes! Where have you been?

- Don't you know? - Know what?

Did you see what happened to us?

It's as if his bones have disintegrated.

But what could do that?

A complete and total absence of any kind of sunlight.

Death by Scotland.

No. No. It should take decades.

This happened a short while ago.

This is alien.

Right. Good-oh.

Question is, where are the rest of them?

Just want to go back to bed.

Well, there they are. The Ninth Legion.

Great big pile of bodies.

It's not always fun to be right.

This wasn't long ago. Whatever did it is close by.

- We need to find Bill. - Don't move! Stay where you are!

The Barbarians dug these traps everywhere.

- What was that? - It's what slaughtered the Ninth.

Can you see it?

They attacked us with a... A thing. A monster.

There's nothing here.

I've got to go back to the others.

You said they were wiped out.

There are survivors, a handful. I can't leave them.

Course not. We found a hiding place. We might still be safe there.

- So what was it like, this monster? - I don't know.

We deserted. We were the ones who couldn't face it.

Roman soldiers don't run, and we did.

What?

They're underground, by the river. There's a carving of a fish.

Is that it? The monster?

No!

Block the entrance! Quickly, hurry up!

- How long will that hold? - Not for long.

Now bring her through, where we can have a better look at her.

You do realise the beast now knows where we are?

- You're not one of the barbarians. - No.

- So, you're the Ninth Legion? - We are what's left.

Simon should be back.

He was looking for the road. Our route south. Did you see him?

- Yeah. - Well, where is he?

I'm sorry. That creature killed him.

What is it? That thing, where did it come from?

It killed him?

Yeah. He was covered in this, like... black slime.

It knows where we are, and we'll all die here, in the dark.

No-one is going to die!

Oh, for heaven's sake.

How long are you going to keep us here?

Couldn't we have seats? What about the Wi-Fi code, how about that?

Don't move. Don't speak. Kar will be here soon.

Who's Kar?

The keeper of the gate. My sister.

Well, let's hope she's the brains of the family, because there's

a big bad wolf of a monster

out there and you live in a house of sticks.

Nice here, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, I like what you've done with the place. Yeah.

Yeah, would you like some popcorn? Um. Won't take me a jiffy to make.

What are you doing?

I'm ingratiating myself.

Stop it. It's nauseating. It's called charm.

I'm against it. I'm against charm.

Yeah, we all know that.

- I said don't move! - I'm rooted.

Shh! Did anybody hear that?

Do you know what that sound was?

What?

That was the sound of my patience

shattering into a billion little pieces.

Now, there are only two things that I need to know.

Where is my friend and what destroyed the Roman army?

I destroyed the Roman army.

Really?

What? You, just on your own? That's quite a trick.

I am the gatekeeper.

Gatekeeper. What gate?

Didn't you hear the call? Where were you?

I had to find the gatekeeper's things.

Sorry, wait a minute.

Are you the mighty warrior that we've all been waiting for?

Where are all the grown-ups?

There was a great battle, a great battle, and we beat the Romans.

Kar beat them. That's all that matters.

Yes, but she's not a warrior. She's an embryo.

What did you do? Throw your action figures at them?

Listen, Roman...

We're not Roman. We're not part of the Roman army.

No, we're not even slightly Italian. I mean, I do a mean spag bol.

Let me tell you about the Romans.

They are the robbers of this world.

When they've thieved everything on land, they'll rob the sea.

If their enemies are rich, they'll take all they have.

If their enemies are poor, they'll make slaves of them.

Their work is robbery, slaughter, plunder.

They do this work and they call it empire.

They make deserts and they call it peace.

Yeah, but you've got to love the indoor toilets, yeah?