Doctor Who

Salutations. This is Sally Calypso with the traffic news at 10:15.

We've got reports of a multiple stack-pile at junction 509,

with a spate of carjackings reported on New 5th Avenue.

So you take care now. Drive safely.

They're gonna get in. There's no stopping them.

The police are on their way, I promise. I've sounded the alarm.

Repeat, this is car 1-0-Hawk-5.

We have a problem, require urgent assistance.

Thank you for your call. You have been placed on hold.

It's all your fault.

You lied to the computer. You said there were three of us.

You told them three!

Repeat, urgent assistance. Car 1-0-Hawk-5.

This is an emergency. Help us!

Oh, my God, I'm begging you! Please, help us!

The weather is at 36 degrees and it's smooth skies all the way home.

This is Sally Calypso signing off. Missing you already.

Just one trip, that's what I said. One trip in the Tardis and then home.

Although, I suppose we could stretch the definition.

Take one trip into the past, one trip into the future.

- How do you fancy that? -No complaints from me!

How about a different planet?

Can we go to yours?

No, there's plenty of other places.

Come on. I mean, the planet of the Time Lords.

That's got to be worth a look. What's it like?

It's beautiful, yeah.

Is it like, you know, outer space cities, all spires and stuff?

I suppose it is.

Great big temples and cathedrals?

Yeah.

Lots of planets in the sky?

The sky's a burnt orange.

With a citadel enclosed in a mighty glass dome,

shining under the twin suns.

Beyond that, the mountains go on forever.

Slopes of deep red grass,

capped with snow.

Can we go there?

Nah! Where's the fun for me? I don't want to go home.

Instead...

This is much better. Year 5000000053. Planet New Earth.

Second home of mankind. 50,000 light years from your old world,

and we're slap-bang in the middle of New New York.

Although, technically, it's 15 New Yorks since the original,

so it's New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York.

One of the most dazzling cities ever built.

Oh, that's nice.

A Time Lord version of dazzling!

A bit of rain never hurt anyone. Come on, let's get under cover.

He has arrived.

What should I do?

Find him before it's too late.

Well, it looks like the same old Earth to me, on a Wednesday afternoon.

Hold on, hold on, let's have a look.

...and the driving should be clear and easy,

with 75 extra lanes open for the New New jersey Expressway.

That's more like it! That's the view we had last time.

This must be the lower levels.

Down at the base of the tower. Some sort of undercity.

You've brought me to the slums?

Much more interesting. It's all cocktails and glitter up there.

- This is the real city. -You'd enjoy anything.

That's me. Ah, the rain's stopping. Better and better!

When you say last time, was that you and Rose?

Urn, yeah. Yeah, it was. Yeah.

You're taking me to the same planets that you took her?

What's wrong with that?

Nothing. just ever heard the word "rebound"?

Oh, you should have said! How long have you been there?

Happy. You want happy. Happy!

Customers, customers! We've got customers!

We have business.

Happy, happy, lovely happy!

Anger. Buy some anger!

It's mellow, makes you feel all bendy and soft all day long.

Don't go to them, they'll rip you off. Do you want some happy?

- No, thanks. -Are they selling drugs?

I think they're selling moods.

Same thing, isn't it?

- Over here, sweetheart! - Hey, you, over here! Over here!

Come over here, yeah. And what can I get you, my love?

- I want to buy forget. -I've got forget, my darling.

What strength? How much do you want forgetting?

It's my mother and father. They went on the motorway.

Oh, that's a swine.

Try this. Forget 43. That's 2 credits.

Sorry, but hold on a minute. What happened to your parents?

- They drove off. -Yeah, but they might drive back.

Everyone goes to the motorway in the end.

I've lost them.

But they can't have gone far. You could find them.

No. No, no, don't!

- I'm sorry, what were you saying? -Your parents.

Your mother and father. They're on the motorway.

Are they?

That's nice.

I'm sorry, I won't keep you.

So that's the human race five billion years in the future?

Off their heads on chemicals.

Sorry. I'm really sorry. We just need three, that's all.

- Let her go! I'm warning you! -It's not our fault!

Whatever you want, I can help. We can help.

- But first you've got to let her go! -Sorry.

The Doctor is so gonna kill you. Never mind him, I'm gonna kill you myself!

- Let go of me! -Give her some sleep.

Don't you dare! Don't put that near me.

It's just sleep. It won't do you any harm if you don't fight it.

That's it, come on. That's it.

Get on board.

Engaging antigravs. Hold on.

Martha!

She's all right, she's breathing. Pulse is fine.

No harm done.

She looks rich. She must have got lost.

Well, she's worth her weight in gold to us.

This is car 4-6-5-Diamond-6. We have three passengers, repeat, three.

- Request access to the fast lane. -Access granted.

Oh, yes.

I thought you'd come back. Do you want some happy-happy?

Those people, who were they? Where did they take her?

They've taken her to the motorway.

Looked like carjackers to me.

I'd give up now, darling. You won't see her again.

Used to be thriving, this place. You couldn't move.

But they all go to the motorway in the end.

He kept on saying three, we need three. What did he mean, three?

It's the car-sharing policy, to save fuel.

You get special access if you're carrying three adults.

This motorway, how do I get there?

This motorway, how do I get there?

Straight down the alley, keep going to the end. You cannae miss it.

Tell you what, buy some happy-happy. Then you'll be smiling, my love.

A word of advice to all of you.

Cash up, close down and pack your bags.

Why is that, then?

Because as soon as I've found her alive and well,

and I will find her alive and well, then I'm coming back.

And this street is closing. Tonight!

Now you just settle back. It's all gonna be worth it.

...the view from the windows,

you can see all the way out to the...

Open sky. They say the air smells like apple grass. Can you imagine?

The houses are made of wood.

There are jobs going in the foundries. Everyone says so.

Take me back. Whoever you are, just take me back to my friend.

That's all I want. I won't cause any trouble, just take me back.

I'm sorry. That's not a real gun.

- Well, you would say that. -Where do you get a gun from these days?

I wouldn't even know how to fire.

No, nor me.

Okay.

What's your name?

Martha. Martha Jones.

Well, I'm Cheen and this is Milo.

And I swear, we're sorry. We're really, really sorry.

We just needed access to the fast lane, but I promise as soon as we arrive,

we'll drop you off, and you can go back and find your friend.

- Seriously? -I swear. Look, honesty patch.

All the same, it's still kidnapping. Where are we anyway?

- We're on the motorway. -What's that then, fog?

It's exhaust fumes.

We're going out to Brooklyn. Everyone says the air is so much cleaner.

And we couldn't stay at Pharmacy Town because...

Well, 'cause of me. I'm pregnant.

We only discovered it last week. Scan says it's gonna be a boy.

Right. What do I do now, congratulate my kidnappers?

We're not kidnappers. Not really.

No! You're idiots!

You're having a baby and you're wearing that?

Not any more.

This will be as fast as we can.

We'll take the motorway to the Brooklyn ?yover

and then it's gonna take a while 'cause then there's no fast lane,

just ordinary roads, but at least it's direct.

- It's only 10 miles. -How long is it gonna take?

About six years.

What?

It'll be just in time for him to start school.

No, sorry, hold on. Six years?

Ten miles in six years? How come?

Hey! You daft little street strut! What are you doing standing there?

Either get out or get in. Come on!

- Did you ever see the like? - Here you go.

He was just standing there, breathing it in.

There's this story. It says back in the old days, on junction 47,

this woman stood in the exhaust fumes for a solid 20 minutes.

By the time they found her, her head had swollen to 50 feet.

- Oh, you're making it up! -A 50-foot head. just think of it.

- Imagine picking that nose. -Oh, stop it. That's disgusting.

What, did you never pick your nose?

- Bran, we're moving. -Right, I'm there. I'm on it.

Twenty yards. We're having a good day.

And who might you be, sir? Very well dressed for a hitchhiker.

Thanks. Sorry, I'm the Doctor.

Medical man? My name's Thomas Kincade Brannigan,

and this is the bane of my life, the lovely Valerie.

Nice to meet you.

And that's the rest of the family behind you.

Oh, that's nice.