Haunted Wedding

You guys got anything in here?

- Man: Nothing. - No?

I don't understand.

There's nothing on the thermal imager, not even a blip.

Electromagnetic fields are within normal parameters too.

All right, let's keep going.

Yeah.

- (clattering) - Aah!

Oh, that's a pan. Okay. You okay?

Sorry. Yep.

- Woman: No luck, guys? - Man #2: No.

Nothing.

This place is supposed to be swarming with spirits.

It's the Alcatraz tour all over again,

empty promises and nothing to show for it.

All right. Well, let's check one more room and then call it.

- Yeah. - (thunder crashing)

Hold up. I think I'm getting something.

- Yeah? - Yeah. Let's check out in here.

Okay.

Whoa! Oh...

Brian, we don't have time to stop. What if we miss something?

I just need one second to calibrate.

Okay.

Could that have been paranormal?

Wow. Look at this.

Oh. Hey...

Oh! I'm sorry.

Jana Atwell,

from the moment we first met at PolterCon,

I knew you were the one.

I've spent my life seeking out lost souls, and in the process,

I found my soul mate.

Almost as if it was orchestrated from the beyond.

Exactly.

So, I figured there's no better place to do this

than an abandoned sanitarium for the criminally insane.

Brian...

So, in the presence of the many spirits

who refuse to show themselves today,

would you do me the honor of being my wife?

This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.

Yes, of course, I will marry you!

So, today wasn't a total bust.

No, not at all. And maybe one day,

we'll find proof that ghosts really exist.

We've got the rest of our lives together to try.

*

- Hi. - Hey.

Both: Mwah.

- Smudging day? - Yeah.

I got this sofa at an estate sale

and I just wanted to scatter any spirits

that may have attached themselves.

This thing...

Bri, did you take off the child lock?

Yeah.

Yeah...

Oh.

Anyway, I just--

I didn't want someone to buy it

and then end up sitting on old Aunt Peggy.

Mm. Well, you know me,

I still prefer the scientific approach,

ghostly phenomena that can be measured.

That's because you're an academic.

You just don't have it in you to trust your gut instincts.

Oh, really? Well, somehow, I'm still marrying you.

And I do believe, but science requires proof.

You ready to hit the road?

Yes, I just wanted to say goodbye before we left.

So, my car is packed solid with wedding stuff,

so you'll need to bring the equipment in your car.

Do not forget it.

Already packed and--

- Are you sure? - Oh.

Um, we need to get going. Our travel time

keeps ticking up on the GPS. We're at four hours.

- Hmm. - Told you guys to wait,

come with me on Wednesday.

Have you met your fiancé?

She's been planning this for six months.

Do you really think that she can show up four days before

and not be completely stressed out?

That is totally fair.

But the Inn's been taking care of most of the legwork,

so we can just...

I know, but it's my dream wedding,

and I don't want a single detail to be missed.

I know, and I want this wedding--

I want our wedding

to be everything you've ever dreamed of.

A wedding at a haunted manor!

Have I told you how crazy that is?

Repeatedly, but the Keystone is different.

It was featured in Spooky Haunts of America 5th edition

and it was rated...

Both: Three tombstones. Boom!

Okay, well, I'm sure that endorsement's

in all the bridal magazines.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well,

I'll see you in two days. I love you.

I love you too.

Drive safe.

Bye! Bye, (unclear).

Jana: Shh.

Come on.

I'm terribly sorry about that, sir, but you really--

you don't have to leave.

No, I'm not staying in this bloody tomb one more minute!

- Sir! - Excuse me!

Sir!

Oh, wait, sir, you've dropped your stuff.

Guest: Oh, keep it!

Keep it?

Oh, I'm so sorry that you had to witness that.

I accidentally gave him... gluten.

Oh, that sounds bad.

Oh, Jana.

- Yes. - Oh!

It's so great to finally meet you not on a video chat.

I know, finally.

Marion, this is my maid of honor, Rachel.

Rachel, Marion.

- She owns the Keystone. - Rachel: Hi.

And thank you so much for all the hard work you've been doing.

Oh, it's been my absolute pleasure.

Now, let's, um, let's get you all checked in.

I don't think that was about gluten.

I know. This place is perfect.

I have had the best time planning this.

I so rarely get to do it.

Most couples choose one of the larger hotels

since we have limited...

uh, space.

Yeah, that's why.

This is perfect, Marion.

Brian and I only wanted

our nearest and dearest with us anyway.

Well, the caterer, who is fabulous, is very excited

for you to sample some of his culinary creations.

There's the menu.

Not a detail missed.

Well, I intend for you to have the wedding of your dreams.

- (gasping) - Oh, uh...

Sorry about that.

I really have to make sure to double latch that door

when the wind kicks up.

There's nothing at all to be afraid of.

Yeah, nothing at all.

That's okay, Marion.

Nothing scares me. I teach high school.

Oh.

Excellent.

Well, um, I'll show you to your room.

Great.

Waylon!

Right this way, ladies.

- Did you feel that? - Yes.

I can't wait till Brian gets here with the equipment.

Oh, is that your room, Marion?

No, no. I, uh... I'm across the hall.

This room stays empty.

No... bathroom.

Hmm. That's where the ghost lives.

- Ooh... - Okay!

This will be your room.

Oh. Uh, do you maybe have something a little farther away?

Like, say, New Jersey?

Don't be a baby. This is perfect, Marion.

- Thank you. - Marion: Follow me.

Well, here we are.

I'll let you two get settled in.

It's going to be an exciting few days.

Hopefully not too exciting.

- Oh! - (both laughing)

Do you have to say everything you think?

It's kind of my thing.

- (wind gusting) - (gasping)

Where are you going? I woke up and you weren't there.

Sorry. I couldn't sleep.

I was going downstairs for some tea,

trying to work on my vows.

Never thought I'd have to do that twice in my life.

I know, but this time, it's different.

Well, you were right about Alec.

He was pulling away and I ignored all the red flags.

Maybe, but there's no red flags here.

Brian's the real deal.

Yeah.

- (electricity buzzing) - Okay.

Yeah, I'm gonna come down with you.

This place gives me the creeps.

This could finally be it, right?

I know you think you saw your grandmother...

She was at the foot of my bed