Bonanza

Oh boy.

Oh boy, oh boy.

I don't know how old Eddie figures on making any money giving away a free meal like that to you.

Well, he's not getting rich under you, brother, that's for sure.

Joseph, the inner man must be taken care of.

Absolutely, if that inner man ever got out, he's big enough to take on the both of us.

All we got left to do is pick up that sugar and grain, won't we?

Right.

Hoss Cartwright, your time has come.

There is no escaping, it is time, Hoss Cartwright.

How does she know who I am?

I don't know.

Let's go find her.

Joe.

It is time to have your palm read, Hoss Cartwright.

How did you know my name anyhow?

Madame Mandela knows all.

Well, go ahead, why don't you let her read your palm?

You've got nothing to lose.

Joe, this whole thing is a bunch of Tom foolishness.

Such talk is foolishness.

Yeah, yeah, I agree with her.

Don't talk foolish.

After all, I think you probably have a fascinating palm.

Of course, with the size of this hand, it may take two or

three sessions, ma'am, but I'm sure you can figure it out.

We've got things to do now.

Come on.

Then you will die.

I'm going to miss you, Hoss.

You mock my powers.

It is easy for you.

It is your brother who is in danger.

Yeah.

That stuff sure is silly, isn't it?

Yeah, silly.

It's amazing that people still believe in that sort of thing.

Yeah, amazing.

And you know that it's sad that people will actually spend money on that kind of foolishness.

Yeah, it's sad.

Very interesting.

Very interesting hand.

What does it say?

I see a tall man.

He is handsome.

His hair is gray.

He seems disturbed about something.

Yeah.

That'd be our Paul.

He's disturbed because we ain't home to them supplies yet.

Come on, Joe.

Yes, yes, that would be the reason.

Yeah, well, let's go.

Wait!

Wait!

I see a woman.

Oh, yeah?

Gold, gold.

Is she pretty?

No.

No, she is not pretty.

She is beautiful.

Oh, uh, gold, gold.

Ah, yes, yes, I see her clearly now.

She's tall.

Statuesque.

Her hair is gold.

Like the sun.

Her eyes are sparkling like the stars.

The moment you meet, she will fall in love with you.

Yeah?

What I see is true.

All that I say shall happen.

You mean, I'm really going to meet this gal?

With hair as golden as the sun.

With sparkling eyes.

It could happen now, Dad, weren't it?

Come on.

Well, I wouldn't stake your life on it.

What's the matter?

It is nothing.

Never mind.

The reading is over.

But, wait a minute, you just heard... The reading is over.

One dollar a quarter, please.

A dollar a quarter?

You said just a dollar.

With your hand, you need a rabbit's foot.

Please go.

Thank you.

Come on, Joe.

See, Hoss, then there's this phrenology where they study the bumps on your head.

Yeah.

Now, figure, you let me whack you one good with an Axel on top of your head,

and you'll have a fortune to make if you sit up and take notice.

Joe, I don't put no stocking out of that stuff to go better than that.

Get it in.

Joe, watch where you're going, you clump...

You're as gold as the sun.

Yeah, big sparkly eyes.

I'm so sorry I didn't see you.

Here, let me help you.

No, ma'am, it's all right.

I didn't hurt you, did I?

No, I'm fine.

I'm Kathleen, Kathleen Walker.

I'm happy to meet you, Miss Walker.

I'm Hoss Cartwright.

I'm happy to meet you, Mr. Cartwright.

Yeah, you can just call me Hoss.

You can just call me Kathleen.

Yeah.

Uh, that's my little brother, Little Joe Cartwright.

Kathleen?

Kathleen?

You aren't married, are you, Hoss?

No, ma'am, not a bit.

Are you courting?

Uh-huh.

Not so you'd notice it, no, ma'am.

Why?

Because I want you to court me.

You want me to court you?

Would you, Hoss?

Would you?

What's going on here?

Oh, Papa, I want you to meet Hoss.

Don't worry, Kathleen, I'll handle this.

Oh, Papa, he wasn't... Now, listen, don't stand up for him.

I know he's tight.

Now, you get in the wagon.

I'll handle this, Romeo.

Romeo?

I ain't no ladies' man.

I saw what you were trying to do.

I got eyes.

Now, get in the wagon like I said.

No man makes the proper advances to my daughter without answering to me, John Walker.

Now, you stay out of this.

You ain't gonna talk yourself out of this one.

I'm gonna give you the beating of your life.

Oh, come on now.

I ain't gonna fight a guy your size.

Don't you worry about my size.

I've whipped men twice your size.

Well, nevertheless, I ain't...

Now, get up and fight.

I knew I had you figured out, Ride.

No backbone.

Now, I'll let that be a lesson to you, and you stay away from my Kathleen.

Yes, sir.

I sure will.

And get up, my great.

Oof.

He sure does hit hard for a little man, don't he?

Yeah.

He hits hard for a little mule, I mean.

Hey, Joe.

Did you see the way that gal looked at me?

Yeah.

I saw it, but I don't believe it.

Just like that man, McDella said it would.

You know, maybe she's got something after all.

Well, maybe she was right about Kathleen, but she sure forgot to mention the father.

Oh, that's going to be sore.

You better get some beefsteak on.

Yeah, soon we'll get home.

Hey, here comes Seth.

I'll get that order filled.

Hey, Seth!

Huh?

Can you get this order filled for me real quick?

We've got to get on our way.

Well, sure can, Little Joe.

Five sacks of grain and two sacks of sugar?

Right.

Well, I'm out of grain.

I haven't got any sugar either.

What, you're sold out of both of them?

That's right, sold out.

That new man, John Walker, came in with his daughter and bought out all my grain and sugar.

That's just great.

Now, what are we going to tell Paul?

What are we going to tell Paul?

We're telling him they're sold out of it, that's all.

I got a load of supplies coming in the morning.

Thanks, Seth.

You know, Joe, this is all your fault.

We should have come here straight away, just like I wanted to in the first place.

What do you mean it's my fault?

I'm not the one who had my fortune told by that Madame Adela.

Not to mention that mess you got into with Kathleen and her father.

You saw Madame Adela, Hoss?

Ain't she a marvel?

She predicted I'd sell out of grain and sugar.

Oh, come on.

Don't tell me you believe in that stuff, too.

Well, you ain't walking out of here with any sugar, are you?

She's truly a marvel.

Don't you think so, Hoss?