How to Sell Drugs Online (Fast)

Ducks, sheep, goats, llamas.

All herd animals. Followers.

Totally dependent weaklings.

They do everything in groups.

Anyone who's ever been in a WhatsApp group knows what groups are capable of.

Or rather, what they're incapable of.

Tigers. Bears.

Leopards. Eagles. All loners.

Uncompromising. Effective. Determined.

-Without any help from others. -

Sure, people who make their decisions on their own

don't have the best reputation at the moment,

but it's not like we're running a nation here. It's just a company.

It's not about trying to please everyone.

It's about the boss pursuing his vision without people always getting in his way.

- Ah. -Huh?

What's this? Python?

TypeScript? JavaScript? Or Rust?

I managed a term in computer science at uni, but then I failed maths.

- Classic, yeah? -A shop system.

For…

Um… dairy farmers.

Yeah, digitalisation stops for no one.

Are they a demanding client, then?

Kind of. Unfortunately, they're getting a little…

…impatient here, Moritz.

The crash was almost two weeks ago.

We're currently losing a daily net revenue

of at least 50,000 euros.

That's a high number, very high.

If we come back with a simple fix, people will know straight away it was a crash,

and that damages their trust in us.

And because of that, we have to sell this as a relaunch, okay?

The only way to manage that is a comprehensive update.

Total makeover.

MyDrugs 2.0 will change the way people sell drugs online forever,

whilst also making everybody in this room very, very rich.

I think that's worth waiting for, right?

OK, Mr Jobs.

Then we just have to sit back and hope everything goes well.

Is it well paid at least? Or is it a favour for a friend?

I don't work for friends.

Are you working to a deadline?

The official launch is this Sunday at midnight?

That certain?

I'm the CEO of this company.

If I say that's the date, that's the date.

The site is as good as done.

Yay!

Ah! That's really great.

So send off your test run,

then you can focus on studying all weekend.

- -Ugh!

That doesn't look very finished.

Did you update the dependencies?

NPM… mmm, is always tricky.

- - Ugh!

Or I guess you could ask Lennard for help.

-He's great with computers. -

Ooh!

-Trouble in paradise? -I can handle it myself.

See you later, Mo.

- Study day-ay-ay! - Hey!

Study, study, study, study day!

- - Study day!

- Study day-ay-ay! - Hey!

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

They sell drugs on the internet.

And they do it fast.

These extremely sophisticated criminals run an entirely cash-free operation.

Payments are made with the modern cyber currency Bitcoin.

The drugs are then sent out to locations all around the world

in standard-looking envelopes.

As simple and discreet as Amazon or eBay.

And that's exactly what makes the situation so dangerous.

CASE FILE X UNSOLVED

That's very informative. So, how do you hunt criminals on the internet?

People often believe that it's like,

-well, you know, The Matrix or something. -Hmm.

Even online dealers leave the house. That's the moment we catch them.

Now they appear to have something very big planned.

Could you shed some light on that for us?

Yes, we expect that this weekend

an entirely new version of their shop will go online.

A wider range, faster delivery, better security for the clients.

Well, I mean, for the drug addicts.

If you have witnessed something like this happening at a postbox

or parcel collection point near you, call the number below

or use the new contact form that can be found on our website.

That's all for this week on Akte X ungelöst.

Stay alert and don't let anyone play you like a fool.

I shouldn't have shaved. I look gay, right?

The IT department is still working on restoring a laptop

that belonged to that dead dealer.

I'm almost certain that once we get access to the files--

No, I put a stop to that.

Excuse me? After all that time I spent on that laptop?

Yeah, I know you did. Too much.

I know you wanted this case to be something special.

A fantastic Hollywood story about a couple of computer freaks from Winden.

Rinseln.

Benedikt, in real life, the murderer's almost always the husband.

And with drugs, it's a foreigner with a record, okay?

Hey, that's not racist, man! Statistics don't lie.

If you really have to work with a computer,

then scroll through the criminal records.

And hey, please don't be too disappointed

if it turns out that your M1000 looks like Eko Fresh.

He's a famous rapper.

He's an Arab, man.

Yeah, I know who Eko Fresh is!

Okay, okay.

I'm just saying, because you didn't react when I said it just now.

Here… This is a gangster, right?

Yo, yo, what's up, bitches?

Advanced German Lit. students, welcome to our annual Study Leave Weekend!

Woo-hoo!

Wik-wika-wiki!

In one hour, we'll meet in the common room then split you into study groups, okay?

And this attractive young man here is responsible for your leisure activities.

Yes, thank you. I also think you're very attractive.

And a very sincere welcome from me too. My name's Joseph.

So, we offer various activities to help you with your studying.

Recreational sport, time management, meditation.

Mental fitness!

-It's a game-changer, people! -Yeah.

And one last thing, no sex and no drugs in the cabins, okay?

Down the lake there's a great place to shoot heroin and fuck.

Uh… Come on, he's just kidding. Ignore that part.

Yeah, true. But you can do it in the cabins as well.

- -But as we all know by now,

sex requires mutual consent from both parties.

Or one of the two people has to be extremely shit-faced.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Which one of you geniuses

packed your bag right in front of the door like an idiot?

You're welcome.

Guys, whose is this?

Huh? What the…

Did someone bring a rubber dinghy?

- -Why would you…

-I'm a side sleeper. -Does it also help with snoring?

I've got one as well.

I sleep like a baby every night. Put it there, man!

- - Mm-hmm.

Okay, grab your stuff,

then I'll show you the best place to smoke without being seen.

Ah, look! A gyrocopter.

You know that Frank Thelen from Dragon's Den

invested millions in an air taxi company?

It's the future.

Yeah, unless it rains or there's a storm.

But, hey, when the weather's bad, who needs a taxi?

Don't worry. I'm sure Frank

-got his break with dairy farmers too. -

Ugh.

-Is everything okay? -

Your eyes are looking red or…

-Are you stoned? -

Are those hazel trees over there?

Yeah, of course. We're in the middle of Europe's second largest hazel forest.

I'm allergic to hazel trees!

Why do you think they called this place "Haselhof", huh?

Because of David Hasselhoff, or what?

-Who? - "I'm a side sleeper."

Uh, you know, Knight Rider.

What happens in Haselhof stays at Haselhof, right, Lenny?

- Yeah, man! -

If you need help with the whole Lenny situation,

-just let me know. - Into the woods!

-I don't see myself as just a teacher. - Come on!

I'm more of a 360-degree pedagogue.

Great, thanks.

And you can keep my handkerchief.

Well, for the meantime.

Come on, guys. Hurry up. I actually want to go to the lake too.

- -

- -

Something's wrong with the component lifecycle…