The Fabulous Baker Boys

What ya doing over there?

Gotta go.

- How come? - A job.

Funny hours.

Funny job.

- Will I see you again? - No.

You weren't wearing that earlier, were you?

- I brought it. - Thank God!

You look like a creep.

You have great hands.

- How am I doing, Tommy? - Two minutes, Jack.

You're giving me an ulcer, Jack.

I am early.

45 seconds does not qualify as early, Jack.

- Who does your tuxedo these days? - Moon.

Well, go to China Boy. Look like you crawled out of bed.

"Be the envy of your friends with Miracle Hair"?

This is paint, Frank.

No, it's a magical sheath that simulates a dazzling head of hair.

- Frank, this is paint! - Just help me put it on.

You're supposed to spray in a circular motion.

Thank you.

Good evening and welcome to the Starfire Lounge.

My name is Frank Baker.

88 keys across from me is my little brother, Jack.

My brother and I have been playing together for how long, Jack?

31 years.

That's a lot of water under the bridge, huh, Jack?

A lot of water.

Things were different then. I was 11, Jack was 7.

The only one who'd listen to us was the family cat, Cecil.

We must have shaved 3 lives off that cat, huh, Jack?

But seriously, it's been 15 years since Jack and I

stepped on stage as professionals.

But though we've played some of the finest venues in the world,

there's always been a very special place for us.

That place is this place. The Starfire Lounge.

Why?

I guess you could just say...

the people.

Terrific, boys, terrific. Yes, sir!

You're just what we needed on a night like this.

Thanks, Lloyd.

Only Jack, do me a favor?

If you want to smoke on stage, put on a pair of sunglasses

and go play with the niggers on State Street.

Here you go, fellas. Ought to buy you more lessons.

Do you know when you'd want us to come back?

I'll call you.

I thought, the way our schedule is,

it might be a good idea...

I'll call you.

Count it. Count it!

Jack!

Count the fucking money, Frank.

It's all here.

I'll be talking to you, Lloyd.

Very nice, Jack. Very nice.

Fuck him.

This isn't the Pine Tree Inn on Route 81.

- Fuck him. - Terrific. Fuck him.

- Are we on for tomorrow night? - Maybe Thursday.

I hear the harpist at the Sheraton has appendicitis.

Hey!

Don't forget your hair.

I think I'm ready for "Oh What Fun it is to Ride".

Your mom got a new friend?

Uh-huh.

Sounds big. What's he do?

Kind of like a lawyer, but the hours are more regular.

All I know is, one day he came to take the TV away,

and ended up staying for dinner.

What happened to the Donut King?

Married.

No breakfast. Maybe they had a fight.

Nina!

Gotta go. Teach me later?

I'm coming!

Are you bothering Mr. Baker again?

No, Mom.

Hey!

Get up.

Thank you Mahalu. That concludes this evening's show.

Jack and I hope you enjoyed yourselves as much as we did.

And...

which means "Paddle home safely."

You want to see me, Charlie.

Frankie! Yeah, come on in.

- Little slow tonight. - Mondays.

- How is Jack? - Okay.

I wanted to see you alone because...

The kitchen help, maids, they love him. He makes me nervous.

Sometimes he makes me nervous.

Well, anyway...

- What is this? - Your pay.

What about tomorrow night?

It's all there. Both nights.

What are you saying, Charlie?

You and Jack have been working here a long time.

12 years.

Maybe it's time we took a vacation from one another.

Vacation?

Come on, it's Monday night! You said so yourself.

I got the pianos for two nights.

It wasn't even half full out there tonight.

I have six waiters in the back listening to basketball.

I gotta move the liquor.

So, I have to fill the tables. It's a matter of economics.

I love you guys. You're class.

But people today...

they don't know class

if it walks up and grabs them by the balls.

15 years, no one's paid us off.

He made the deal. There's no shame in it.

We gotta talk.

Talk!

I've been thinking maybe we should make some changes.

Maybe we should take on a singer.

It's just an idea. I want your opinion.

We go half on everything, right?

I wouldn't say exactly half, would you?

We agreed it I did the business, I'd be entitled to a little extra.

- Is that what we agreed? - Yeah, that's what we agreed.

If you're unhappy...

- I'm not unhappy. - If you want to...

assume more of the financial responsibility, I'd be glad.

How much for the singer?

20%. With additional bookings, we'll come out ahead.

What?

Two pianos isn't enough anymore.

Never was.

I appreciate your punctuality, Miss...

Moran. Monica Moran.

Alright, Miss Moran.

Actually, that's my stage name.

- I'm sorry. - Monica Moran.

That's my stage name. My real name is Blanche.

Blanche?

No romance, right?

That's why I came up with Monica. It's what I prefer.

Well, that's alright.

But if you call my house and my mother answers,

ask for Blanche.

If not, she'll think you have the wrong number and hang up.

Yes, well. What is it you'd like to do for us?

"The Candy Man". Is that all right?

That's one of Jack's favorites.

I almost forgot you were there.

Here's the instructions.

He knows it.

Really? Isn't that a coincidence?

Small world.

Shall we?

Who can take a sunrise

Sprinkle it with dew

Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two

The candy man can

The candy man can

- The candy man can 'cause he... - Thank you, that's enough.

- ...Makes the world taste good - Miss Moran!

- Miss Moran! - Who can take a rainbow...

Miss Moran! Blanche!

Sorry.

I get so caught up in it sometimes.

It's scary.

Yes, it is.

Well, okay. Thank you.

And now the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

My friends, I'll make it clear

I'll state my case...

Up, up and away

In my beautiful balloon

Would you like to fly

In my beautiful balloon...

Well, tiny bubbles...

When my baby smiles at me

I go to Rio...

Feelings...

I want to love you

Feel you

Wrap myself around you

I'm so excited

Just about to lose control

I'm about to lose control

And I think I like it

I like it

I like it

I love it

Aaaahh

37 girls and not one who can carry a tune.

There was a certain surreal quality to it.

God damn it!

Shit!

Shoe.

Is this where the auditions are?

Where the auditions were. We're finished.

What about me?

You're an hour and a half late.

I had trouble catching a cab.