Years and Years

I just don't understand the world anymore.

It all made sense up until a few years back.

The left was the left, the right was the right. America was America.

-Who's she? -Vivienne: I couldn't even point to Syria...

-Some woman. -Vivienne: ...on a map.

I just kissed the kids good night, turned out the lights,

look forward to waking up the next day.

I dread it now. Every day, dread.

-I like her. -Host (on TV): That man there, at the back.

-Celeste: Good night, then, sweetheart. -Good night.

Milk's not good for you, darling. It's just mucus.

-Don't have a go at her. -No, I should do it more often.

Signor, who's Vivienne Rook?

Signor (electronic voice): Vivienne Alison Rook.

Born 1964 in Manchester.

Founding member of the JJC think tank.

Host (on TV): That woman there, in the blue.

Woman: What would you say to a Palestinian family

on the Gaza strip when Israel has reduced the electricity supply

to two hours a day?

-Two hours. -Vivienne: Yeah, I know.

I know, but I suppose when it comes to Israel and Palestine...

-I don't give a fuck. -(murmuring)

-(laughing): Oh, my God. -What did she just say?

-Well, now I like her even more. -She can't say that.

Go on, say it again. Wait, who is she?

-Stephen's watching. -(phone bloops)

Danny's seen her. Bet he's written a letter of complaint.

Look, number one trending topic: Viv Rook.

In what? Another 20 seconds?

Host (on TV): I have to apologize to the people at home.

-You really can't say that. -But I mean it. I mean it.

Kiev, Yemen, Qatar,

I simply do not give a--

No, no, no. If you say that again, I'll have to exclude you.

Well, that's the point, isn't it? We're not allowed to say anything true.

-I have had enough. -(phone beeping)

-I have literally had enough... -Lucy's watching, and Javindra. Nell.

-Lynne. Viv Rook for Strictly! -Mm.

Just headlines shouting at me. And...

all I want is for my bins to be collected once a week.

-You know, I want-- -(audience applauds)

I want the primary school 200 yards from my house to pick up its own litter.

And, for the love of God, my mother walks with a stick.

Could people please just stop parking on the pavements?

-(applause) -Vivienne: Could you just stop it?

So, ask me about Israel, ask me about Palestine,

ask me, and I will tell you,

I do not give a...

-...monkey's. -(audience laughs)

But I have got you listening now, haven't I?

-(applause on TV) -Oh, my God. She is a monster.

-I think she's brilliant. -(phone rings)

Hello? Hello? Are you all right?

Ah, yeah, it's me. Look, don't make a fuss, but can you take Lee?

Just get him to bed and give him some toast for breakfast. He'll be fine.

-I'm on my way to the hospital. I started. I'm early. -Uh, right.

Yeah. But what about Jan?

I thought she was helping you.

She was, according to the birth plan, but that's next Monday.

She's in London tonight, and Runi's had a drink so she's useless.

We're on our way to Salford City. Can you meet me there and pick him up?

-Oh, and can you tell Gran? -But who are you with, then?

I'm being driven by Mr. Jayansundera from number six.

-Everything's under control. -(car honks)

-Sorry. -Daniel: No, no, no. I mean, but...

who's gonna be with you for the birth?

I don't know.

-She's on her own. -Why is she on her own?

I don't know. (stammers) Will you be okay?

Rosie: I'm all right. It's not my first.

Mum should be with me, really.

Uh... (stammers) Do you want me to be there?

-Would ya? -(Ralph snickers)

Uh, yeah. 'Course I will. I'm on my way.

-(keys clattering) -(Ralph laughing)

Oh, my God. Rosie's gone into hospital. Huh.

Is that now? I thought she was months away.

Danny's with her. He says I've got to tell Gran.

Well, I could go. I could get a taxi. It's only half an hour.

Oh, don't add to the panic, Gran.

The last thing we need is one of your little adventures.

Danny says she's having an ultrasound for the epidural,

so everything's fine.

Your mother would be there.

I know, but...

Yeah, but there's nothing we can do about that.

A bit odd for Daniel--

childbirth with his own sister.

If he wasn't gay before, he will be now.

Well, that's gynephobic.

-What was that? -Uh, Celeste says hello.

Mm.

Well, let me know the news.

Anytime, even if it's four a.m.

I will, but don't stay up all night, huh?

Promise me, no adventures.

You talk to me like I'm a child.

If you go to bed now, get up at five a.m.,

drive to Manchester, I mean, you could be at your gran's by eight o'clock.

I've got Lou Havins coming around in the morning about that trust.

Cancel him. E-mail him now. Go on.

Family emergency.

I mean, you should be with your gran, the old goat.

-Don't ever tell her I was nice. -(scoffs, chuckles)

Newswoman: This is BBC Radio Four. Good morning.

And here are the news headlines at 5:30 a.m.

President Trump has called on his opponents to bridge divisions

as he refuses to abandon his plans to build a wall

on the border with Mexico.

The DUP will begin further talks in Northern Ireland this morning,

hoping to break the deadlock over the latest border proposals.

In business, the next president of the World Bank could be one of its harshest critics.

: What do you think?

-He's so Chinese. -Oh, my God. I was waiting for you to say it first.

He is, isn't he?

I was wondering how Chinese he was gonna be,

but he is, like, 100 percent.

Tiny little version of Gau.

-Well, you'll have to tell him. -I know. I'll call him later.

-What about Dad? -None of his business.

Do you want me to phone him?

If I want to tell anyone, I want to tell Mom.

And I can't, so Dad can just piss off.

Don't you tell him, okay? Have you got that?

-Okay. All right. I won't. -Right?

So, have you thought of a name?

Lincoln. I don't believe it.

She's calling him Lincoln.

Like Abraham Lincoln?

: What is he, a Chinese Abraham Lincoln?

She's saying Lincoln? Lincoln Lyons.

-She's calling him Lincoln. -I know. I got an e-mail from Danny.

I warn you, he'll get called Lin.

Gran says he'll get called Lin.

So? Tell her that's a boy's name, too.

There's nothing wrong with it. I just wonder where she got it from.

-Maybe she had sex in Lincoln. -Oi, that's enough of that!

Ruby says maybe she had sex in Lincoln.

Uh, tell Ruby she can stop being so rude.

I've got to go. I'll see you tonight. Congratulations, again,

-great-grandmother. -I am great. Don't you forget it.

Come on. Let's go and see the little swine.

Mr. Lincoln Lyons.

You've got a new cousin. Auntie Rosie had a little boy called Lincoln.

Like Lincoln green.

Signor, give me the origin of Lincoln as a boy's first name.

Signor: Lincoln as a boy's first name is from the Latin,

-meaning lithe. -What does lithe mean?

Um, kind of thin.

Is it thin or slight? More like slim.

Signor, what does lithe mean?

Signor: Lithe. Adjective, meaning pliant,

limber, supple, flexible.

Thank you.

Hello, hello, hello.

Rosie: Aw, he's fast asleep.

Good boy.

Oh, little Lincoln.

Rosie (softly): Yeah.

-I keep thinking about your mum. -Rosie: I know.

But don't set me off again. Has anyone told Edith?

I left her a message. She never replies. God knows where she is.

Indonesia, last I heard.

-Oh. -Muriel: They imprison children, she says.

Apparently, if you haven't got a birth certificate,

they determine your age by X-raying your wrist.

And then if your X-ray says you're 16,

you're 16, even if you're 12.

So, off goes Edith, into battle.

Just like her mother.

No, Mom liked a hot bath and proper towels.

Edith lives like a hippie.

-(laughs) -Daniel: Come on, then. They said two to a bed.

I'll take Lee to McDonald's. How do you fancy that, yeah?

-Yeah! -Yeah.

Daniel: Yeah!

-Can I say goodbye? -Yeah.

-Muriel: Oh, careful. -(chuckles)

Oh, looking a bit broody, there.

No chance. No way.

Oh, you'd be great, you and Ralph.

Don't know if I could. Have a kid, in a world like this.

-Oh, that's happy. Thanks. -Really, though. It's...

It is like that Rook woman said.

Things were okay a few years ago, before 2008.

Do you remember back then? We used to think politics was boring.

-Those were the days. -And now, I worry about everything.

I don't know what to worry about first. Never mind the government.

It's the sodding banks, they terrify me.

And it's not even them. It's the companies, the brands,

the corporations-- they treat us like algorithms

while they go around poisoning the air,

and the temperature, and the rain, and don't even start me on ISIS.

Oh, now we've got America.

Never thought I'd be scared of America in a million years,

but we've got fake news, and false facts.

I don't even know what's true anymore.

What sort of world are we in? (laughs)

'Cause if it's this bad now, what's it gonna be like for you?