DuckTales

Oh, man, that is classic cinema.

So good!

Oh, and remember when the surgeon

tried to cut the mole queen in half

but then she multiplied into a million mole babies

and then they ate him?

Aah!

You said this was an educational film.

Suitable for all ages.

Uh, it's a cautionary tale

about the dangers of mole monsters.

And everyone could use a lesson

on chainsaw safety.

Lame!

Where was the drama, the heart,

the needlessly expensive car crash mayhem?

Even if mole men did exist,

why attack someone in the shower?

With the water running there wouldn't be

enough traction to attack anyone above the knee.

Totally phony.

What is with you guys?

It says right on the poster:

Based on an Actual True Novel.

This is the only book I trust.

If it's not in the Junior Woodchuck guidebook,

then it's not a thing.

What about were-ducks?

- Nope. - Tri-clopses?

- Not a thing. - Well, what about

the legendary Terra-Firmians of Duckburg?

Let's see.

Pterodactyl, terror-dactyl, terrible twos.

Nope. No Terra-Firmians.

Must not exist.

What? Terra-Firmians,

the mythical underground race

that live below our very city?

No. That's ridiculous.

No, you're ridiculous.

Children, children,

there's an easy way to settle this.

Let's go find them ourselves.

Ahem.

You evil! Evil!

You took the form of a poster.

- You won't get Launchpad! - Stop, Launchpad. No!

It's just an ad.

That's exactly what the sheriff told

those reckless teens.

*DUCK TALES (2017) Season 01 Episode 05

Title: " Terror of the Terra-Firmians!"

Wait, shouldn't we tell someone where we're going

before we blindly explore a network

of dark and abandoned subway tunnels?

- We're heading down into the subway. - We'll be fine.

- Okay, don't wait up. - Ah, much better.

I apologize for my associate.

You can bill McDuck Enterprises for the poster.

Uh, what about the damages to the men's room?

The men's room?

They come up through the toilet.

Anyone could be a mole monster. Anyone.

Could be him or her or that baby.

Even him.

All right, let's go before anything else happens.

Wait, where are Huey and Webby and... Lena?

Hmm. Now what's behind here?

The old 818 train line.

Famous for Terra-Firmian sightings.

That's why it's closed off.

The signs say "closed for renovations."

That's what they want you to think.

Who is they?

Exactly.

What?

Well, we can't not go in at this point.

Hello?!

These old tunnels.

You can hear train vibrations from miles away.

That was no subway train.

The Terra-Firmians are an ancient race

built of two warring tribes.

The Terries and the Firmies.

They were once united under a proud king.

After the king's untimely death,

an epic battle began over who would assume control.

But one day the rightful prince

will reunite the two tribes

and put an end to their bitter conflict.

And what's that?

Oh, just a drawing

of a candy I wish they made.

- Webbi-dings. - And that?

Me as a superhero. Look, can we just focus

on all the exciting stuff I just said?

So these Terra thingies

are responsible for that tremor?

According to the JWG,

earthquakes are shifting tectonic plates.

Science fact.

No reason for any of us to go in there.

The book knows everything.

Did the book know I was gonna do that?

Hmm.

Oh, I can't wait to meet a real Terra-Firmian!

I'm totally gonna sacrifice myself

in the name of the rebellion.

Oh, and then I can hunt down your attackers

- and avenge your death. - Aww!

That's sweet. There!

Claw marks!

Proof they were here.

Even better!

The tremors exposed

three kinds of rock.

Schist, marble, and gneiss.

Ooh, do I spy some shale?

How is that better than subway monsters?

'Cause my thing's real.

How can you dismiss this after all the stuff

we've seen with Mr. McDuck?

Most of that is actually logged in the guidebook.

Even the headless man-horse?

It's a big book. Anything new, I add myself.

Now help me with the shale rock.

Need it for my geology badge.

Why don't you ask your best friend,

the guidebook, to help you?

Oh, wait, you can't. It's a book.

"How to properly handle rock samples in the field."

Hmm. Ahem. Mm-hmm.

What was that?

Um, after you.

Terra-Firmian!

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Just more subway junk.

Now, if you're all done,

I have some rock samples to collect.

Aah!

Oh! Hey, watch it!

Louie?

Granny?

Aah! Those are moles!

Launchpad, it's just the guys.

Uh, you would say that.

Have there always been three of them?

I can explain.

You are all in big trouble.

I assume this was your idea.

Sure, blame the mysterious rebel

playing by her own rules.

No back talk! You made me come

all the way down here, drag two more children

and one man-child right into danger.

Man-child? Where?

Easy, LP. Easy.

One monster at a time.

Aren't you supposed to be crazy adventure family?

This is like an afternoon field trip for you people.

Well, there won't be anymore afternoon field trips for you.

I can assure you that.

Granny, Lena didn't mean to...

Terra-Firmians!

Naturally occurring tectonic shifts!

Splendid. We're stuck.

It looks like the only safe way out of here

is to get this train moving.

Launchpad, get to the control room.

No, Mrs. B. I can't leave you alone with...

I mean, uh...

I don't know if I can.

I've never crashed a train before.

Well, maybe you can drive the train

without crashing it.

Huh?

Just get to the control room

and see what you can do.

Fine. Hey, Dewey, come with me.

I need someone to help me for some reason.

Just in case.

I'm going to the rear to see if I can

- detach us from the cave in. - You, with me.

You've caused us enough grief.

Aye aye, Colonel Crumpet.

We'll stay here and be on the lookout for Terra-Firmians.

It must be about halftime at The Great Games,

so it'll be easier to spot one.

Okay.