Small Train Robbery (Mala pljačka vlaka)

A LITTLE TRAIN ROBBERY

Mister district chief, I heard a story in Vienna, that there's cannibals here.

Is that true? - As far as I know, mister

imperial inspector, there's still no cannibals.

But there's good plum brandy! Thank you, I don't drink, my ulcer.

Austria-Hungarian Empire, 1918. Last days of war.

Oh damn it.

Who's that creature over there? - That's the

outlaw Todor, he's called the Terrible.

This is his area. Give order for his arrest.

Don't worry, mister imperial inspector, the escort knows their duty.

Empire is lucky to have gendarmes like this.

We have worse than that mister imperial inspector.

I hope I won't have the same fate as the late archduke.

He was also driving around in the car, on Balkan.

Don't worry mister imperial inspector, I'm responsible for your security.

Go.

Max, take care of this outlaw.

Todor, leave this gentleman alone, please. He's the imperial inspector from Vienna.

He'll fire me from my service and who will feed five of my children then?

It was four of them the last time. The fifth was born in the meantime.

- Is it male? - It is.

Well then, congratulations.

Is it yours? It is, from the last time.

It stopped. Take it for a repair.

It doesn't matter if it goes or not, you can't tell time anyway.

Gentleman, give me back my top hat.

That was a birthday gift from my wife, please.

Car is the shit. We should rob the train,

Terrible, I'm telling you, that's the real job.

If the train goes here, we'll rob it too.

Is this the imperial inspector? Yes, that's him.

Give him his hat back.

Thank you, mister.

Todor, mister imperial inspector was wondering can he take a picture with you?

Sure.

He stole the state money and he bought a car, huh?

Cokula, don't embarrass me in front of the imperial inspector, for God's sake.

Mister imperial inspector, this is Sergeant Cokula,

one of the bravest gendarmes in the whole monarchy.

In hand to hand fight he captured Todor the Terrible and was deathly wounded.

To be wounded in the but in hand to hand fight?

That is beyond anatomic laws.

I don't know much about that anatomic law, mister imperial inspector.

But I'll give my head for the state laws. Sergeant will prove that with actions.

Todor robbed inspector and myself. Inspector, you say? Yes.

It's his fault for going into Todor's country.

Cokula, damn it, don't embarrass me, go to chase! - It's noted!

Do your job, you're paid for that. I'm working as much as I'm paid, mate.

You'll get a medal. Screw the medal!

You'll be rewarded by imperial inspector. How much?

Two thousand krones. Is that for sure? That's the minimum.

Why didn't you say right away, my friend?

Grab the weapons!

Move your asses!

Across the hog's hoop to the Lemon valley!

Mister Sergeant, Todor is over there. Shut up!

As you command, Sergeant sir!

Lead the prisoners, bring the dead. Yes, Sergeant sir!

Scram! Faster!

Cokula, why did you send them there, when Todor is on the other side?

He's always on places where you don't expect him.

Mister imperial inspector, Todor will be captured today, dead or alive.

If you cross me about the reward, you're screwed.

Oh my God, I'm starting to understand why are we losing this war.

- Todor the Terrible... - Stop.

'Todor the terrible, gray mountain falcon.' We already had that. - It's different now.

Todor the Terrible, like a angry snake...

Do you know some nicer animal? I can't stand snakes.

We had bear two times already.

How about a wolf, for example? Ah, wolf! Well done.

Paragraph, write down, the wolf!

Todor the Terrible, like the mountain wolf,

stone burns with fire where ever he stands.

Where he hits with his iron fist,

the seed won't grow again!

He has the soul like the white fairy,

justice and honesty is growing inside it.

I heard he mentioned a reward. Mentioned or not, that won't happen.

Cokula would skin him alive if he's lying.

Country won't last for long. No country, no reward. - How can be no country?

That is called lemon valley but there's no lemons there.

It's been so long since I saw someone trough the sight.

Why did Cokula sent us on the wrong way? So he doesn't have to share the

reward if he catch him. No, it's because Earth is round.

And where ever you go, you'll always end up on the same place.

I've been across all of our district, and nowhere I saw that the Earth is round.

He's mine. Wait a minute, who's that? That's him.

I'll get him. Oh, no you won't!

You shoot the American, Stipica, you shoot the fat one.

I don't want the fat one, I want Todor. If we don't kill him with first bullet,

we're screwed. You'd miss a cow from 5 meters!

Who'd miss a cow, damn you to hell!

Say that again, and I'll rip your head! You'll rip my head, you lousy bastard?

Come out of there so I can compile you with my bullet!

Carry on.

The fool could've kill my sheep.

Brandy!

There's no such a hero in the country,

not in Lika nor in the whole Empire.

Gendarmes and wolfs are scared of him,

angry snakes and black spiders.

If only I know why did you took that tire.

I took it, not you, and it's mine. It's not yours, it's ours, shared.

It's written down in the book. I piss on your book.

Tire is for rolling, not for carrying! You'll teach me what is tire for?

What do you think, Terrible, did they come accidentally?

They don't get up their asses by accident, only when Cokula is forcing them.

Why isn't he in the chase then?

Who says he isn't?

Don't interfere, the two of us will solve this.

I'm betting 100 krones on Todor. I'm betting 100 krones on Todor, too.

You have to bet on Cokula, otherwise that is

not a bet. - You'll teach me what bet is.

Where are you going, Cokula? What are you looking for in my area?

You. Your value is 2000 krones.

- Since when? - Since today.

- That's a lousy money. - I agree.

Maybe your price will go up. It would be a shame to kill you right away.

Take out your gun, don't anger me.

Four against one, huh?

That won't work.

We'll meet alone. Yes, we'll meet.

We, on the Wild west, don't shoot from behind.

Fuck Wild west.

Here he comes. Is it him? No, someone on a bicycle.

How do you know what bicycle looks like? Of course I know, like this.

No one in our district has a bicycle. - How it doesn't fall when it's not leaning?

He's holding for a bicycle, you fool. Of course.

Is it yours, Kristijan? - It's state. What about the horse. He died.

Here, you have one razor, rat poison, dry figs, and a bottle of cologne, try it.

It's great! Cigarettes for Todor. I don't have cigarettes.

I have to go, I have to take the wanted list to cokula. - For how much?

Ten thousand for Todor, two for you.

That's three times less than 1914. Inflation. Who?

- I'm going now. - Go, go.

Don't do it friends, they'll fire me. You confiscated three of my horses already.

Fine.

At least give me the receipt. Bicycle brand?

One bicycle, confiscated for the need of Todor the Terrible.

- Three! - Three and four more.

That's four and three more.

I'm sorry. Eight more.

- What did you have? - Nothing.

- And you? - Full.

You're bluffing better than One eyed Sebastian.

Who is that? - He was the best card player on the Mexican border.

We robbed a train there. You're lying, Men.

It's impossible to rob a train.

Only bandits are robbing people on the road in the Wild west.

Real boys are robbing trains!

Railway is too far away. It's only twelve miles.

That's not my area. It's no ones!

Milindza and Paragraph.

Todor, look at it!

We're on the wanted list.

For how much?

This music will lead me to outlaws. State will lead me, if I don't get raise.

It's been so long since I saw someone trough the sight.

You'll have the chance now. - I will, if he doesn't order to catch them alive

like two years ago. The wanted list says, 'dead or alive'.

It's written what Cokula says. Screw the state that pays better for dead outlaws,

than for alive gendarmes.

Devil will take the Austria-Hungary away! Don't insult my monarchy, you stupid kid!

He just became a gendarme and already he's talking against the state!

Sergeant sir, If I may ask, when will you take us to get Todor?

Now you're in a hurry when there's a reward.

How much would I get if we catch them?

Fifteen. Fifteen of what, sir Sergeant?

Fifteen days of prize absence.

And the money?

What money, man?

Train. What train? There's no train here.

If only could I rob it. If only I can see it.

You take over that one. Why me?

You and Paragraph are resting, and I should suffer.

Money or your life! Gentlemen, this is a movie maker.

A world wonder. Magic machine for making life, using light and shadow.

Life is just a shadow that wonders, said the poem maker, Shakespeare.

And Thomas Netahlie says, 'life is just a shadow of the movie maker'.

Movie maker is the world's greatest conqueror after Cesar and Napoleon.

My gentlemen, you're probably wondering who will win this war.

This war won't win the Triple Entente nor Central Powers, says Thomas Netahlie.

Movie maker will!

Please, imagine. Before your eyes,

live, everything dead and alive. Possible, or impossible.

From icy pole to the hot Africa. For just two krones, you can observe

all European fronts without deadly danger.

You can see how a man pierces another man with a bayonet in a deadly fight.

How the howitzers fight, and all that without

fear for your file from a bullet or similar.

Mister, you'll damage my tape. That's The Great Train Robbery!

This is The Great Train Robbery? Did I hear well, man?

You mentioned a train robbery? That's right.

A big work of art by mister Porter.

It's about ruthless, and arrogant outlaws

at the limits of morality, are insensitively

robbing the train on the American west,

which is called Wild because of people like that.

Presumptuous outlaws, because of their greed are captured in the end,