Letters to Santa 6 (Listy do M. Pożegnania i powroty)

On this lovely Christmas morning, it's your buddy Misiek.

Do you believe in miracles? I don't usually, but they still happen.

Yesterday, a boy called the radio and asked for snow.

I thought, 'No way, snow on Christmas Eve? How?'

But guess what, overnight, it started snowing.

So don't lose hope. Call in and share your dreams, just don't go overboard.

As a kid, I dreamed of some wooden blocks.

I guess it was too much since that miracle never happened,

but I kept dreaming anyway.

- Ho ho ho! - Watch your kid!

- I m sorry about that. - What's going on today?

Everyone's rushing around shopping.

Is a holiday coming up?

- Jesus is being born. - Again?

You'd think He'd be tired of it by now. As a Capricorn again. Interesting.

You dropped your coat check number!

Keep it for good luck.

Hang on.

Everything's perfect.

For the first time, I'll have a normal Christmas.

No fights,

no stress,

and no surprises, Szczepan.

The wafer!

Oh my God, we forgot the wafer!

No, you forgot it. It was your job.

I did all the Christmas prep. You just had to get the wafer.

But I knew if I didn't take charge around here, no one would. No one!

Karina, calm down. It's all taken care of.

Amelka will bring the wafer any minute now.

Oh, you clever trickster.

We've got 11 dishes. Pick one more for the full Christmas set.

- What kind of pierogi are those? - Russian.

No, thanks. I'll just take another carp.

- Can't skimp on family, right? - Sure.

Excuse me, but two carp in jelly still count as one dish.

- How come? - It's just one, isn't it?

- How many pierogi did you buy? - What's it to you? Thirty.

Fine. But does each dumpling count as a separate dish?

Getting a bit clever, aren't you?

The Żoliborz intellectual speaking human on Christmas Eve?

- It's a no-brainer. - Who's the Christmas expert, you or me?

Look at you, then look at me. Well?

- How much is it? - 1,830 zlotys in total.

I'll put this into my company's costs. Here are the details.

- Cash or card? - Wire transfer.

Send the invoice, I'll pay after the holidays.

This country's going nowhere with how it treats small businesses.

My company's officially cutting ties with you.

What's the problem?

The expert forgot.

Merry Christmas.

Forever and ever, amen.

Fuckaduck! What a disaster.

Would you want your kid to spend all day on the computer?

And would you want your kid throwing blocks and wrecking the room?

- You're not supposed to throw blocks. - I did.

- Why? - Out of anger.

Dad shut off the computer, and I had to play with blocks to spark imagination.

- You've really stumped me... - Kostek, any ideas for Uncle's gift?

Get him some blocks.

Mom! The coal car is up for auction!

- I'm in a rush. - I need money for the auction.

I have to get carp to Uncle Mietek and groceries for Aunt Lucyna.

- She broke her leg. - You said I could spend 300 zlotys!

- Santa already has a present for you. - I don't want it! I want the coal car.

What's more important, the coal car or Aunt Lucyna? Don't be selfish.

I'm thinking about Dad. Do you want him to be sad?

- If I don't get that coal car... - Enough.

Can you watch him? Thanks.

That's my seat, you dumb lady!

Don't touch my kid!

- He's sitting on me! - Yell at your own kid.

- My son is very well-behaved... - Excuse me.

- Can I help you? - She took our seat and is making a fuss.

You asked me to let him sit by the window.

- Please take your seat. - This is my seat.

How am I supposed to do that?

- I'll move you. - Why me?

Don't get upset, sweetheart. They'll move this lady.

Please, come this way. Here's an open seat.

Thank you.

I'd love to throw that hag out the window.

Sorry.

- I'd wait. - What?

I'd wait to throw her out until after the plane takes off.

Taxi!

Taxi!

- Do you know where it is? - Yes, yes. I know.

- But do you? - Yes, yes. I know. Let's go.

Let's go.

You know this?

What's the address?

I don't know.

If you don't know the address, where am I supposed to take you?

Buongiorno!

- Is there a problem? - You know where it is?

How could I not know? Stalowa Street.

You're like sunshine on a rainy Monday. Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Mr. Derda?

How much would you sell this beauty for?

I wouldn't sell it to you, because it's not for sale.

A client left it for repair.

For repair? It's been sitting here for 50 years!

Longer. Much longer, but you see...

my father was paid to repair it, so...

I can't sell it.

Mr. Antoni, the owner's probably been under a headstone at Powązki for years.

Dear Mr. Lucjan...

I'm not selling it.

Well, have a Merry Christmas, then.

It so happens... that's exactly my plan.

Same to you, Mr. Lucjan.

LTD. ED. COAL CAR 550 ZL. BID NOW

Hey, kid, I've got a date.

- You are to watch me. - What's gonna happen to you?

Just stay in the house, okay?

Will you give me 600 zloty?

Listen, kid, if you behave, you'll get that coal car.

- How? - From a courier.

- But don't tell Mom. - Did you buy it?

I ordered it with Mom, but it's a surprise.

That's exactly the face you need to make when you get the gift.

- Thanks! - Not now, kid!

By the Christmas tree. Act shocked and surprised.

- Just don't leave the house. - Okay.

The turon is out, snapping its jaws!

Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a special holiday deal today!

With our Santa, you get a free turon,

and an authentic Bethlehem angel for just 1 zloty!

Step right up, step right up!

- Come on, stop gawking. - Dad, I want the fluffy one!

- You wanted the Snow Maiden earlier. - Dad, you wanted the Snow Maiden!

I want that!

Sir, come on... don't deny the kid on Christmas Eve.

You see for yourself, our top-notch staff offers a unique deal.

Take the turon, and you can keep it until the Epiphany.

He'll entertain the kids, clean the windows for Baby Jesus.

Dad, come on!

Son, these guys are bums. That one's drunk.

Drunk? He is just disinfected!

I assure you, hygiene is top priority at our company.

- Yeah, right. Let's go. - But...

Get lost! How many times have I told you not to hang around?

Shoo!

Shoo?!

I'm the boss here, no one yells at my crew!

- You're scaring people. - We're running a legal business here!

I pay taxes, and no corporation is going to chase me off!

You guys should've been shut down long ago!

I know it all; I worked for you for two years!

No cafeteria, bullying, forcing people to work, and sexual harassment!

Especially that one lady, who makes you fall for her and then kicks you out.

- Quiet, please... - Quiet?!

It's freedom of speech! I'll shout if I want to,

and what are you gonna do about it? Exactly!

Boss sure knows how to negotiate smooth

like the water flowing down the Vistula.

Pataszon, don't kiss up to the boss. What's our revenue?

Well, the revenue...

Mom...

can I go to Kornelka's?

No way, sweetie.

You don't visit people on Christmas Eve. Everyone's got too much going on.

Besides... it's a time...

to be with family.

Dad?

Your mom...

Your mom's right.

During Christmas... family comes first. I've always said that.

- So what, we're just gonna sit here? - Yep.

That's kind of the point of Christmas Eve...

You just sit... and...

wait for the first star...

then you eat...

and then... you unwrap...

- Presents! - Yes, but first, we eat.

Yeah, that's... the magic...

The magic of Christmas.

If you want...

we can listen to some Christmas carols.

Yep!

See?

Instant cheer.

What's with that wheezing? Just blow your nose.

- That's a 2.4 on the breathalyzer. - I've only got a 0.7, damn it.

Come on, guys. Borygo, we had an agreement.

- I haven't had a drop in two days. - Sure.

I swear, he just used the COVID sanitizer.

Right, I just rubbed it in.

You were to hand out gifts to the teetotalers, so what now?

Maybe Ludwiczek can handle the teetotalers?

No way. I can't do that.

It would... destroy my very soul.

OK. Get out of my sight. How much money do we have?

Let's see...

752 zlotys and 34 groszy. I mean just one grosz short of 34.

Which is 752...