The Big Bang Theory

What are you doing?

Pigeon check for Sheldon.

North side's all clear!

Great. Let's look at some planets!

Hey, why'd you lug your telescope all the way over here?

Leonard has one in our apartment.

Yeah, I'm gonna use Leonard's.

Might as well hold my hand up like this and squint.

I don't know. It seemed pretty good.

You know, once when the cable went out,

I watched an entire episode of The Bachelor

on a TV across the street.

This one's more of a professional model.

So was the girl he picked!

This baby's got a ten-inch diameter with f/10 ACF optics.

And tonight Mercury is at its highest elongation.

It makes far-away things seem close, and Mercury is a planet.

I know Mercury is a planet.

But the-the other thing was helpful.

Oh. Look at that.

- Neil Gaiman tweeted about my store! - What did he say?

Uh, "Next time you're in Pasadena,

"check out The Comic Center.

"Great vibe, old school,

the owner really knows his stuff."

Isn't that amazing?

Well, uh, it's no Sandman, but I guess we can't expect

everything he writes to be a masterpiece.

When was he in your store?

I have no idea. I think I would remember that.

Obviously, vibranium is the most powerful metal in comics.

What, more powerful than adamantium?

He's right. Wolverine's claws,

Ultron's outer shell.

Need I go on?

You don't need to, but you probably will.

What about Wonder Woman's bracelets?

Good point.

Strong as a metal and fierce as a fashion choice.

You know, Thor's hammer's pretty powerful,

and in the comics, it's made out of enchanted uru.

Uh, yeah, I think it's the enchantment

that's powerful, not the uru,

but, uh, thanks for playing.

Oh, man, I can't believe Neil Gaiman came in,

and we weren't even there.

Episode Title: "The Comet Polarization"

Can you see Mercury? Can you see it?

One second.

You know, the Greek version of Mercury, Hermes,

was worshipped in Athens

by the carving of giant wooden phalluses.

Please, Amy,

get your mind out of the ancient Athenian gutter.

Got another follower. I'm blowing up.

Great. How many does that make?

High double digits.

- The nineties? - Mid double digits.

Hey, uh, Penny,

- do you want to check this out? - Yeah, sure.

All right, just, uh, look through here, and if you want to take a picture,

- just push that button. - Okay.

Oh, what is that?

Is it Mercury? I'm really jonesing for Mercury.

I think it's a little early

for Mercury to be visible yet.

Playing hard to get.

I like that in a planet.

No, there's something fuzzy.

Is it your teen years?

No.

Yes. Shut up.

Look. Look at that. I think I see something.

It could just be your eyelash.

It's not an eyelash!

Okay, well, uh, take a picture. Let's see.

Okay. Here.

Hmm.

I do see something.

- Told you. - What is it?

I don't know.

Maybe it's a comet.

That would be so cool.

You guys want to see a real star,

look over here.

What?

I just got retweeted... by Patton Oswalt's brother.

So, this is really where Neil Gaiman shops?

Neil Gaiman, Nicolas Cage, Natalie Portman.

The list goes on.

They all come here?

Unless I'm lying.

Who are all these people?

What? Is this a flash mob?

Are they dancing?

I don't know what today's dancing looks like.

Hey, guys. That tweet actually got people

to come in. Isn't that great?

No. I liked the way the store was before.

You mean empty and sad?

Yes, it was perfect.

Like a funeral home that sells Pokémon cards.

What am I supposed to do now

if I want to hang out and read a comic book?

Go sit on the couch.

Next to a stranger?

If I'm going to sit, read, and ignore a woman,

it's going to be my fiancée.

Why are you being such a baby about the crowds?

You go to Comic-Con.

You... I'm sorry.

You're comparing this place to Comic-Con?

Well, can I go to the bathroom here next to a Wookiee

who got his zipper stuck in his fur?

Wow. We go to Comic-Con for different reasons.

You know what?

Just give me a copy of Action Comics 1000,

and I'll be on my way.

Sorry. All out.

Now you just let people come in and buy them?

I didn't realize your soul was also for sale.

Well,

it wasn't, but, uh, make me an offer.

Who is that?

- Sheldon. - Who is he mad at?

- Neil Gaiman. - Who's that?

- Not us. - Great.

- Guys. - Hi. - Hey.

So, guess what.

That indeed was a comet last night,

and it turns out, no one's seen it before.

- Wow. - Really?

Look at that! I discovered a comet! Oh!

What do you mean you discovered it?

Well, I'm the one who saw it.

In my telescope that I positioned.

All you did was look into it.

Well, you both discovered it.

You can put both your names on the registration form.

- Actually, we can't. - Why not?

Because when I filled it out, it asked for name of discoverer,

and I put "Rajesh Koothrappali" because...

because that's who I am, and that's what I did.

Are you kidding me?

Well, he is the one who knew it was a comet.

No, he didn't. He thought it was an eyelash!

And you thought it was a fuzzy streak.

I mean, do you even know what a comet is?

Yeah, the thing I saw first.

I honestly don't think that that qualifies as a discovery.

But I took the picture.

Because I told you to!

Like, if a monkey took the picture,

did it discover the comet?

Excuse me?!

Eh, eh, eh, uh, he didn't mean monkey.

- Get the hell out of my apartment! - And she didn't mean that.

Actually, I think she did. You should go.

You look great.

Oh, thanks.

Would you believe this is actually a dress

from before I was pregnant?

Well, it's not a competition,

but... I wore this suit to my Bar Mitzvah.

Where's Stuart?

I told him we had a 6:30 reservation.

Well, I'll call him.

Comic Center, where the real superhero is you.

Stuart, you're supposed to be babysitting.

- Oh! - Shoot. That was tonight. I forgot.

The store's been really busy.

Well, when can you get here?

Um, I don't think I can. Listen to this.

I-I was ringing up a customer, and I heard someone say,

"Hey, there's a line," and I looked, and there was.

Come on. You can't do this to us.

I am really sorry. I will make it up to you.

But it won't be with a Val Kilmer Batman figurine

because some sucker's buying that right now.

Not you. This is great.

He says he has to work.

Oh, it's okay.

We can have date night another night.

But you got all dressed up.

We were supposed to have dinner and romance.

We'll just have to divide and conquer.

I'll go to dinner,

and you can stay home with the Internet and have romance.

Okay, look, I Googled it.

I took the picture, so it's my discovery.

He stole my comet.

I know, but on the other hand, do you really care?

Yes, I care. This happens to me all the time.

People take one look at me

and assume I don't know what I'm talking about.

Oh, I'm sure that's not true.

I'm sorry. Are you saying

I don't know what I'm talking about?

No, I'm not saying anything... ever again.

Look, I'm serious. The other day at work,