Workin' Moms

PREVIOUSLY, ON "WORKIN' MOMS:"

- NATHAN FOSTER LIVES HERE, RIGHT?

OH. OH, YOU KNOW NATHAN?

I... THINK HE'S MY DAD.

(READS) "DEAR NATHAN,

IF YOU'RE READING THIS LETTER, IT MEANS I'M ALREADY GONE.

AND I CAN ONLY IMAGINE FINDING OUT

ABOUT OUR SON LIKE THIS

HAS COME AS A COMPLETE SHOCK." WHAT THE FUCK, NATHAN, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

I THINK IT MEANS I HAVE...

I HAVE A TEENAGE SON. MAYBE.

- WHY, BECAUSE SOME RANDOM EX OF YOURS SAYS SO?

I MEAN, WHO IS THIS WOMAN? SHE COULD BE PSYCHOTIC.

MARLENE WASN'T PSYCHOTIC.

- SHE NAMED HIM NATHAN, NATHAN!

HONEY--

- WHY ARE YOU SO CALM RIGHT NOW, JESUS CHRIST! - I-I'M NOT, I'M PROCESSING.

- WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN PROCESS WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO HERE,

AND LET ME KNOW, BECAUSE WHAT, IS HE JUST...

IS SUPPOSED TO MOVE IN?

BECAUSE HE IS A STRANGER AND WE ONLY HAVE THREE BEDROOMS,

AND WHERE IS HE GONNA GO? - KATE, SLOW DOWN.

I'M SURE WE CAN FIGURE OUT THE BEDROOM SITUATION.

FIRST THINGS FIRST, WE DO A DNA TEST.

CONFIRM HE AND I ARE EVEN RELATED.

RIGHT, RIGHT.

- (IN UNISON) CAN YOU PASS THE CHEESE?

- JESUS CHRIST. - YOU CAN-- - NO, PLEASE, AFTER YOU. - OKAY.

HERE YOU GO.

"I'M SORRY I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT HIM SOONER,

BUT 15 YEARS AGO WHEN YOU BROKE UP WITH ME,

YOU MADE IT CRYSTAL CLEAR

YOU DIDN'T WANT A KID IN YOUR LIFE.

BUT NOW THAT HE IS IN YOUR LIFE,

I NEED YOU TO LOOK AFTER HIM,

WHICH SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD,

BECAUSE HE'S JUST LIKE YOU,

LIFE OF THE PARTY--" HAS THIS WOMAN MET YOU?

- I KEEP TELLING YOU, I AM FUN. - OH MY GOD.

- "BY THE WAY, I MAY HAVE EMBELLISHED A FEW DETAILS

ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

SORRY ABOUT THAT."

- HEY DAD, IS IT TRUE THAT YOU WERE A BOXING CHAMPION?

- WELL, I, TOOK A FEW BOXERCISE CLASSES.

I WAS PRETTY DECENT, ACTUALLY.

THAT'S SO COOL.

- IS IT ALSO TRUE THAT YOU'RE A MASTER SAXOPHONE PLAYER?

MOM SAID YOU WERE THE BEST SHE EVER HEARD.

- (SCOFFS) THE BEST? YOU'VE NEVER TOUCHED A SAXOPHONE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE!

- I HAVE ENJOYED LISTENING TO ONE.

IT'S A GREAT SOUND.

YOU'RE ACTUALLY THE REASON I TOOK UP THE SAX.

WELL...

VERY COOL, MY MAN!

- DIDN'T YOUR MOM ALSO SAY THAT YOUR DAD DIED

WHEN THE PLANE HE WAS PILOTING, WAS IT,

CRASHED INTO THE PACIFIC?

- THAT'S WHERE SHE WAS WRONG. HE SURVIVED.

(LAUGHS)

MM-HMM.

- LET'S MAKE A TOAST. TO NATE!

- MM! - ACTUALLY, IT'S NATHAN.

MY MOM WAS REALLY ADAMANT ABOUT THAT.

SHE WOULD SAY, "EVERYONE LOVES A NATHAN,

BUT THEY HATE A NATE."

- WELL, I HAVE TO INTERJECT THERE, NOBODY HATES A NATE.

- I THINK IT WAS OUT OF RESPECT FOR MY DAD.

- WELL, YOUR DAD'S RIGHT HERE, AND HE'S FINE WITH NATE.

- I'M GREAT WITH NATE. - HE'S GREAT WITH NATE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE NATE.

- YEAH, BUT THEN WE'RE NATE AND KATE, AND UM...

THAT'S SUPER WEIRD. SO...

- I-I FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT THIS.

- TO NATHAN JR., THEN. - HMM?

OKAY, SURE. - (LAUGHS)

- CHEERS. - HERE WE...

GO!

- AND LISTEN, I KNOW YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE A FEW DAYS,

BUT THIS IS YOUR PLACE NOW, SO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME,

OKAY, YOU DON'T NEED TO STAY COOPED UP IN THAT ROOM.

SPREAD OUT! (LAUGHS)

RIGHT, KATE? - HMM? YES.

YES. YES.

IT'S IMPORTANT THAT UH,

YOU SHOULD FEEL COMFORTABLE HERE.

IT'S ACTUALLY IMPORTANT THAT WE SHOULD ALL

FEEL COMFORTABLE HERE, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

THANKS, DAD.

YOU'RE WELCOME, SON.

(YAWNS)

OH! WHAT THE... HELL?

DAD TOLD ME TO SPREAD OUT.

DON'T MY MOM AND DAD LOOK HAPPY THERE?

YEAH, YEAH.

HE'S FUCKING WITH ME, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

- NO WAY, HE'S NOT FUCKING WITH YOU.

- HE IS, AND IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

HE HAD HIS MOM ALL TO HIMSELF FOR 15 YEARS,

AND NOW HE WANTS YOU ALL TO HIMSELF.

- I THINK YOU MIGHT BE READING A LITTLE TOO MUCH INTO THIS PHOTO. - AM I? LOOK AT IT.

HE COULDN'T HAVE CHOSEN SOMETHING LESS EROTIC?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- LIKE HOW YOU'RE GRABBING HER ASS?

YEAH, NO, I SEE IT.

LOOK, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS LATER.

I HAVE TO GET TO WORK.

YOU'RE GONNA PICK UP THE KIDS TODAY?

- NO, HEY, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO.

SLOANE'S STILL PISSED AT ME, AND I'VE GOT A PITCH LATER.

GODDAMN IT, I'M BEHIND ON EVERYTHING.

YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO GET THEM!

- OH NO-- - OH, THAT'D BE GREAT!

- OH, SORRY, IT'S JUST UM, IT'S-IT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY,

RIGHT, LITTLE GUYS. - YEAH, I WANNA HELP OUT.

- WELL, IF HE WANTS TO PITCH IN, WE SHOULD LET HIM.

- YEAH, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I'LL-I'LL LET THE SCHOOL KNOW.

- YOU DON'T MIND ME PUTTING COLTRANE IN THE FRIDGE, DO YOU?

- SORRY, WHO? - MY PET FROG.

IT'S A WAY TO INDUCE HIBERNATION.

MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO IT. - WHAT WAS SHE,

A MARINE BIOLOGIST? - YES.

COOL, THAT'S COOL.

MARINE BIOLOGIST AND A UH, SUPERMODEL.

SHE WASN'T A SUPERMODEL.

I MEAN, SHE COULD'VE BEEN.

IT'S OKAY IF I PUT HIM IN THERE, RIGHT?

- YEAH, SURE. YEAH. - YES, YEAH, WHY NOT?

SLEEP WELL, COLTRANE.

- OH, LOOK AT THAT, SAXOPHONE, YOU WEREN'T KIDDING.

WE'VE GOT A LITTLE KENNY G IN THE HOUSE.

- KENNY G'S A SMOOTH JAZZ GUY. I'M INTO FREE JAZZ.

IT'S LIKE JAZZ, BUT... WITHOUT THE RULES.

MY MOM AND I HAD THIS FRIDAY NIGHT TRADITION.

SHE WOULD MAKE MOUSSAKA, AND WE'D LISTEN TO JAZZ.

THE ONLY THING MISSING WAS YOU.

RIGHT.

- HI. KATE!

- LOOK, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I'M GONNA BE HERE,

SLOANE IS UM... PUNISHING ME.

- OKAY, WELL, UM, THE CLIENTS ARE ALREADY HERE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? - SHIT.

UH, UH, UH, STALL THEM. I'LL BE THERE AS I CAN--

OH! I THINK I MIGHT HAVE SOME MOVEMENT.

I MIGHT HAVE SOME MOVEMENT. - NO-NO-NO-NO-NO, NO. KATE!

HI.

- MS. MITCHELL OFFERS HER APOLOGIES,

BUT IT SEEMS HER MEETING IS RUNNING LONG.

- IS IT? IS HER MEETING RUNNING LONG?

YES.

SHE ASKED THE YOU GO THROUGH THESE MANUSCRIPTS

AND DEVELOP SOME PR ANGLES BY TOMORROW.

IT'S JUST THAT SHE'S SO BUSY.

SLAMMED. - SLAMMED, IS SHE?

- SO YEAH, THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED

I WANTED TO SWITCH MY MAJOR TO PUBLIC RELATIONS.

OKAY, LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY,

BUT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR OVER AN HOUR,

AND I THOUGHT MY MEETING WAS WITH KATE FOSTER.

YEAH, AND SHE IS NEARLY HERE.

- OH MY GOD. - WAIT! PASTRY?

STORE-BOUGHT, I PRESUME?

YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THOSE THINGS?

BHA, BHT, SODIUM BENZOATE.

BASICALLY POISON.

- HEY! OH! THANK YOU FOR WAITING, I AM SO SORRY!

I'M KATE FOSTER, I SEE YOU'VE MET ROSIE, HERE.

PLEASE, HELP YOURSELF TO SOME PASTRIES.

NO!

SHE DOESN'T LIKE THE PASTRIES. - YEAH, OBVIOUSLY.

- WELL, IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU,

I'M SORRY YOU MISSED OUR MEETING.

- WAIT, HOLD ON, PLEASE. I'VE-I'VE HAD THIS MEETING

CIRCLED IN MY BOOKS FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

YOUR COMPANY IS SO IMPRESSIVE. PLEASE.

- WELL, THE ONLY REASON I'M EVEN HERE

IS BECAUSE GINNIE THINKS WE NEED PR.

AND SHE'S NOT WRONG.

ANY COMPANY THAT'S GROWING AT THE RATE YOURS IS,

NEEDS A STRATEGY.

IN THE TRASH, HOW ABOUT THAT, WOULD YOU SIT?

- (LAUGHS) ALL RIGHT, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,

I'M SITTING. JESUS H., OH MY GOD.

- GREAT, BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR

HOW GOLDIE'S GOODNESS CAME ABOUT.

- WELL, IT ALL BEGAN WHEN MY GRANDDAUGHTER,

GINNIE HERE'S LITTLE GIRL,

GOT INTO SOME WINDOW CLEANER,

AND DRANK A HALF A LITER OF THE DAMN STUFF.

JESUS.

- NEARLY KILLED HER. DOCTORS HAD TO PUMP HER STOMACH,

IT WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.

- YEAH, BUT IT DID INSPIRE SOME OF THE BEST DAYS.

BECAUSE ME AND GINNIE STARTED DEVELOPING OUR LINE

OF ALL-NATURAL CLEANING PRODUCTS.

SAFE ENOUGH TO SWALLOW.

- OH! OKAY. - OH!

- BECAUSE IF IT'S TOXIC ENOUGH TO KILL YA,

IT SHOULDN'T BE IN YOUR HOUSE, RIGHT?

UH, I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME.