Condor

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Howdy.

- You lost? - No.

Don't see folks out this way much.

That's a lot of dead prairie dogs.

It's just target practice.

You know, my grandfather used to say,

"If you kill all the prairie dogs,

there'd be no one left to cry for the rain."

Prairie dogs don't make it rain.

It's because they burrow,

and then that turns the earth.

They keep it from getting too hard-packed.

And that way, when it rains,

the water can get in and make things grow.

Did I say something funny?

It's always funny to listen to the white man

explain how the world works.

Still, hard to imagine

coming all this way to see prairie dogs.

What can I say? I dislike prairie dogs.

Can't find something you dislike closer to home?

Y'all army or something?

Heard they was lettin' was lettin' girls in.

Didn't realize they was letting in little, pretty ones.

What...

I was handling it.

Psycho.

Target is at seven o'clock.

The brunette.

I need confirmation.

No, no, Sam. You're a fucking idiot.

Joe, the fate of humanity rests on the line.

Oh, the fate of humanity?

The fate of your sperm anyway.

Dude, why don't you go and pick her up?

Because he knows I'd cut his balls off.

She would, she'll cut off my balls, and I need my balls,

which is why I have to live vicariously through your balls, Joe,

which frankly sucks.

Baby, tell Joe to hit on the brunette, please.

- First, let's do some shots. - Yes.

- How long ago did you break up with whatsherface? - Who's "whatsherface?"

Can I get three shots of tequila, please? Thank you.

- Janice. - Janice, the girl you're still bent out of shape over.

That was six years ago. I'm not bent out of shape over Janice.

If you don't date for six years after your break-up with someone,

you're bent out of shape over her whether you know it or not.

Hey, what are you doing with my phone?

- I'm on Tinder. - No, no, no, no, no.

Finding Joe a girl.

Why can't the three of us just hang out, huh?

'Cause you're a third wheel, baby, and we don't enjoy hanging out with you.

- What about Melanie? - Give me my phone. I'm not kidding.

No, no. No, Mae.

Oh, no, never mind.

- You know what? - Selfie with a baby tiger.

Even the kids are worried about you, Joe.

Jude says to me the other night when I put him to bed,

he looks up with me through his sad little eyes, and he says,

"Daddy, I'm worried that Uncle Joe is lonely."

You're such a shitter. No, he didn't.

- No, he did. - Liar.

He said it to me while I was putting him to bed.

Yeah, right.

You haven't been home to put the kids to bed in two years.

Hmm, thanks, Babe.

Just personalizing the story for effect.

Being in a relationship is like being in a cult.

When you're in one, you want every one else to be in one with you.

Yeah, because it's beautiful, Joe.

Okay, I'm gonna take my sweet wife home.

I'm gonna make tender love to her,

to my wife, to this woman who I share a rich life with,

we share a family.

Show her my innermost secrets, my hopes, my dreams.

You, on the other hand, you're gonna go home in your shitty little apartment,

you're gonna eat cold pizza, and jerk off into a pillow.

Dude, I don't have any pizza.

Okay, I just found your wife.

She's perfect for you.

- Let me see. - And you're a match.

Let me see. Kathy H.?

- She's pretty. - Let me see, let me see.

She's pretty.

Yeah.

Kathy H. is gonna change your life.

Do you wanna have a drink tomorrow?

No, no, no, no. Don't send anything.

Did you send it?

Jesus. You sent it?

- To Kathy H. - To Kathy H.

Geez. To Kathy H.

Yeah.

Shut up.

Hey, Sam.

Hey, buddy, pick up your pace.

You're not even running an eight-minute mile.

Listen, I need you to come over here and look at something for me.

No can do.

Your wife hacked my dating life, remember?

Yeah, well, it's important. I need your advice, Joe.

Okay, sure. I can be at your place in an hour. Everything cool?

I actually need you at the office.

You want me to come to your office?

What I want is for you to take those stairs up ahead on the left.

Sam, are you tracking my phone?

Not a good time to stop, Pal.

Pick it up, Joe. Move.

Come on, buddy, two at a time.

Take a left to the top of the stairs.

What's going on, Sam?

Get in that van that's right in front of you.

What van?

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Who are we gonna see?

Your Uncle Bob and the Deputy Director.

Of the CIA?

- Of the CIA. - Yeah?

Two years ago, you wrote a program with Harold Floros

to help screen employees at likely terrorist targets

in the Middle East and Europe to assess the threat potential.

- Do you remember that? - Yeah.

You know, I didn't think anyone ever looked at that thing.

The program is operational?

It's operational, Joe, and it works.

And you have a chance to save a lot of lives today.

We flagged this guy, Ammar Nazari.

Nazari is a Saudi national.

Thirty-two years old.

Before your program found this guy,

we'd never heard of him.

He's a fresh face in the Sunni terror community.

Here we go.

Welcome to the big leagues, Joe.

Let me show you something.

There it is.

This is everything we've got on Nazari.

Now, we've been watching him for the past six weeks.

He's clean, until noon today when he goes to a PO box

that no one knew he had, and picks up a package.

What's in the package?

That's the problem, Joe. We have no fucking idea.

Yeah. We didn't have time to do a sweep.

Sam, is that ComQuest Field?

Mmm-hmm. That's where Nazari's been working as a janitor for the past six weeks

until your program flagged him.

The program I designed was supposed to screen employees

with high profile targets in the Middle East and Europe.

Joe.

Your uncle has been running with this all by himself.

- Bob is running this? - We had no idea.

If you have an issue with it, you take it up with him, but you do it on your own time.

Nazari, right now, is on his way

to a stadium filled with people as we speak.

So, you have a state trooper pull him over.

You search the car.

What if he detonates it?

- Detonates what? - Exactly.

What is it?

Is it nuclear, biological, chemical? We don't know what,

Why are we gonna give this guy a chance to pull the trigger?

Okay.

Wait.

You're gonna kill him, aren't you? That's what this is.

That's what this room is, right?

That's why you're here.

Yeah, we wanna hear every perspective...

- This is fucking crazy. - ...before we act on it.

Subject is just over one mile from the target.

Is it a target, Mr. Turner?

Joe, this is Mr. Abbott, Deputy Director of the CIA.

Well, is it?

Uh...

The algorithm only looks at employees of high profile targets, Mr. Abbott.

So the question isn't so much if ComQuest Field is a target,

but more if Ammar Nazari is a threat.

Your algorithm gave Mr. Nazari a 12% threat probability.

Yes, but the algorithm wasn't designed to be used in this country,

so there are variables that will need to be adjusted

to make the program actionable.

The subject is getting off I-495.

A Saudi-born American citizen who is also a Muslim,

just visited a secret safety deposit box,

and is on his way now to a football stadium.

How many variables do we need?

But with all due respect, uh, Mr. Abbott,

Muslim-Americans are allowed to have PO boxes

and also work in football stadiums.

- Sir? - Excuse me.

What would you do if this was your play?

I don't know. How could I...

We don't have enough time to not know.

Subject is pulling in to the stadium parking lot.

Subject is parking.

Shadow 1 Bravo engaging. Over.

You're talking about killing a man without any evidence against him,

except for an algorithm that I wrote years ago

and subsequently forgot about.

Now forgive me for taking a second to contemplate the 88% likelihood