The Movie Orgy

Stop complaining, will you?

Well, I paid to get in

and I'd like to see a good picture.

We did not pay to get in.

We got in on a pass for nothing

and this ought to be good.

Well, yes, it ought to be good for nothing.

I recommend it to anyone.

And I think a lot of people should see it, even kids.

I'm coming back.

Yeah, I'll be back again too.

I don't know how the kids feel,

but I really found out

what they're thinking in this picture.

The best scene to me was...

Well, when they went in together

and got a karate chop right in the neck,

and strike them.

And I like the ending.

I like, well, it was a sad ending

and I like, well, I get emotional.

I'm going to enjoy this.

It's a really big show.

Say kids, what time is it?

Howdy Doody Time!

Oh boy, oh boy, kids!

Look at those purple marbles.

- He hasn't reckoned with Phineas the genius but...

Fully obnoxious.

It has taken 2000 years of civilization to allow you

as a consenting adult

to view this motion picture.

Everything is going to be beautiful.

Well, Drake and the Indians have got Carson surrounded.

With Carson out of the way,

the rest of our problem is simple.

Look.

I'll send Midnight after them.

Midnight, Midnight, come here.

Go get 'em, Midnight.

Midnight's going after the girl.

Hiya, boys and girls!

I've got a great show for you today

and you're going to like it.

Get set, you're going to see some of my favorite pictures.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is KRKR-TV

and now for the latest news...

Early tonight, the captain of a Swedish icebreaker

in the Barents Sea

reported "Seeing a strange red fireball

come out of the sky," says the captain.

"It hovered above my ship for about a minute,

and then headed south by southwest," unquote.

Radio Cairo reports a herd of camel stampeded

by a comet-like object

streaking southwest across the Sahara.

And in Cape Town Africa, a boar, no doubt,

reports a similar flash across the sky.

And still one more, ladies and gentlemen.

A farmer in Auckland, New Zealand

reported the strange glowing object,

this time moving northeast.

Now let's see, Barents Sea,

Cairo, Auckland,

New Zealand.

Considering the timetable of these reports,

the stranger from space should be over our California desert

in a matter of minutes.

Harry, Harry!

What'll your wife say?

She'll say plenty. Tonight, anyhow.

You see the way she tore outta here in that big car of hers.

She caught us nodding to each other.

She'll make up for all the things

she hasn't caught us doing. So fed up.

Never should have agreed to go back

to her once we were separated.

Why did you?

You know why.

I couldn't pry one nickel out her.

The community property routine only works for women.

Man hasn't got a chance.

Unless the wife dies.

I didn't say anything.

You were thinking it.

Not the same thing.

Didn't you say she was in the nuthouse for a while?

Private sanitarium.

What's the difference?

She was off her rocker, wasn't she?

I suppose so.

Probably got some fancy name for it.

Mostly she'd have these violent headaches

and she got falling down drunk.

Still has 'em to this day.

What are you getting at?

Oh, come on now, Harry.

Let's not be naive.

You've made a good start now, follow through.

She's on the brink and you know it.

I don't know it.

Dr. Cushing seems to be helping her a lot.

She's tapering off in the bottle too.

Hardly took a drink all evening.

You saw her.

All she needs is a little help.

Play the husband right to the end.

Once she's in the booby hatch,

throw the key away.

That'll put you in the driver's seat.

You'd make a wild driver, Harry,

with 50 million bucks.

Harry!

Harry, help me!

- Mrs. Archer! Mrs. Archer! - What's the matter?

Here, somebody gimme a hand!

Take her into the office.

Hey chief, chief!

- Mrs. Archer. - Harry.

Go on, folks, go on, go on.

Nothing you can do around here.

Go find Harry while I take care of Mrs. Archer.

All right, just break it up.

Now, come on, Mrs. Archer.

Come on and sit down in the car.

I'll send somebody for some black coffee.

Black coffee?

You think I'm drunk, don't you?

All of you,

I'm not drunk, I'm not!

- You've got to believe me. - Please.

It was right the middle of the highway,

30-feet tall!

It left the sky.

I know that.

You don't believe me, do you?

What's new in Colgate Dental Cream

that's missing, missing, missing

in every other leading toothpaste?

It's Gardol and Colgate with Gardol gives up to seven times

longer protection against tooth decay

and a cleaner, fresher breath all day

with just one brushing.

And here's how the Gardol in Colgate works.

Now just as this invisible shield help protect me,

Gardol forms an invisible protective shield

around your teeth

that fights tooth decay all day with just one brushing.

And Colgate with Gardol cleans your breath

while it guards your teeth.

Colgate is safe too,

even for children under six.

So what's new in Colgate Dental Cream

that's missing, missing, missing

in every other leading toothpaste?

It's Gardol and Colgate with Gardol gives up to seven times

longer protection against tooth decay

and a cleaner, fresher breath all day

with just one brushing.

- Hey Mr. Archer. - Mm-hmm.

Mr. Archer.

What is it, Charlie?

Oh, all right, I get the message.

She's over at the sheriff's office.

Kind of bad shape, pretty hysterical.

You couldn't find me tonight, Charlie.

I took a cab home.

Sure, sure, I get it, Mr. Archer,

thanks a lot.

So she's tapering off, hmm?

Hardly took a drink all evening?

Must have had a bottle in the car, I don't know.

Found Mr. Archer?

Well, he took a cab home, Chief.

Or Charlie, go get the riot gun.

We're taking a ride in the desert with Mrs. Archer.

Right.

Why the heavy artillery, Chief?

There's a flying satellite

and a 30-foot giant a few miles out on 66.

A 30-foot giant?

Oh, no!

Some for you,

some for you,

and some for you.

Mmm, that tastes swell.

It's Colgate Dental Cream.

Watch this wonderful story

about Colgate Dental Cream, Happy Tooth

and the meanest man in the world,

old Mr. Tooth Decay.

Hello, Happy tooth.

I see you're training your dogs to do tricks.

Oh yes, Mr. Colgate Dental Cream.

And this big Saint Bernard dog has joined my training class.

Isn't he friendly?

Ha, ha, ha!

He thinks I'm a friendly Saint Bernard, does he?

Wait 'till he finds out I'm Mr. Tooth Decay.