Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis (Khun krabii hiiroh)

Master! l'm here to save you!

That's my friggin leg!

Now, we are extremely delighted...

to inform you that ..

Thailand is the only virus-free nation in Asia.

We are free of any infections by any kinds of viruses...

especially Sars Virus No. 4...

the deadliest virus of them all...

...which is currently spreading acoss Africa.

We again would like to ensure you that...

Thailand will not be harmed by the Sars Virus.

A Cockroach!

Hey, you idiot!

Serves you right!

Hello. This is Andrew Biggs speaking.

Check that out on the side of the road!

Watch out!

Shit! You ran over a dog.

lt's bear, not a dog.

What the hell is this?

Excuse me, young lady.

Shit! She kicked me! Noi, catch that bitch!

Peekaboo!

Come here.

This is just the top part!

You'd be more surprised seeing what's under there!

Stop! Don't try to kick so high.

lf you do, you can say goodbye to your virginity!

l have your daughter here with me.

lf you want her back, pay me a ransom.

l don't want much, just 10 million Baht will do.

Keep this matter between us.

Cops cannot know about this.

You know what will happen if you tell cops.

What will happen?

lf you're lucky, your daughter will become my wife.

lf you're unlucky, she will be the property of this!

But the real one will be bigger than this.

Look, l've retired from the game.

l stopped ever since l was injured.

l think you'd better call cops.

No way! l can't get cops involved!

You know that my business isn't so clean...

and l don't think cops will be tolerant of me.

Shit!

This is not a good idea.

Enough!

Don't play me like this.

Who came up with this idea?

What? You don't like these girls?

They're all fresh and young.

l do! But l don't think the censors will.

There's no pleasing you!

How about this?

Here!

Here is a blank check. Fill it out yourself.

As much as you want.

Smart ass!

Don't you try to fool me again.

lt's like your first damn check!

The stupid 1500-baht check bounced!

You're full of shit! Help me or die!

Hey! That thing can kill me, you know?

Yes it can.

lf l die, who will help you?

Asshole!

l'll just kill myself then.

lt's your business.

lt's your life, not mine.

Enough, enough! My house is going to collapse!

Hey stop! Take it easy.

You shouldn't have forced me into this position!

Get him!

Hey! What the hell is this?

Where the fuck are you taking me?

What are you going to do to me?

Oh no, stop, please...

Will you help me now?

l will! Shit!

Let him go.

What the fuck are you doing?

You want more? Be my guest!

Stop! No more...

This is my top student.

He is the right man for this job.

Just watch.

Hey, stop!

l want you to save my daughter...

not to watch your stupid dance.

Are you nuts?

What do you think?

ls he good enough for you yet?

l admit. He's good.

Damn! You idiot!

Khun Krabi! What the hell are you doing?

What the hell? That's nasty.

lt's not that l'm fussy about things.

But can your Khun change his costume?

l'll hire him anyway.

But how do we know...

...where Yai is keeping my daughter?

Let me see the envelope that the video came in.

Hand him the envelope.

My men failed to find the whereabouts.

There, the address is right on the envelope.

Shit! What's this stuff?

What the hell are you doing to my girl? Bastard!

Kick his ass!

Bastard!

Teach him a lesson, Jod!

Let go of me!

Master, l need to borrow this pan.

What? What the hell do l use to cook?

But it will make me look cool.

What the hell is that?

Liu, my lady. l'm here to save you.

Young man. Have you seen this woman?

Dunno.

What's it to you?

Please tell me. We are all Thai here.

ln that case, you have to take these drugs.

Drugs are bad for health and a poison to society.

Come again?

Drugs are BAD!

Hey! Drugs are BAD. Yeah!

Kim! You did it again!

Come here and talk to me, baby.

l won't feed you if you don't behave.

Now come and give me a kiss.

Let's clean this up together.

Albert! lt's you again.

Albert! My gorgeous little baby!

Jenny! What the hell did you do to Albert?

He's trembling all over.

lt's your bloody snake...

...that sneaked into my room to eat my cat.

Watch your stupid pet!

Kim.

Where are you?

Kim. Where are you?

Noi! What the fuck are you doing here?

She says she needed to shit, sir.

You want my permission to eat her shit?

Don't mind if l do!

May l?

Take her to the toilet then.

You don't have to wipe her ass, though.

Hey, Pued? You're going to take my money?

You ungrateful bastard!

Let me help you with that.

You want to help yourself?

Call me when you're done then.

Yai...

Hold on!

See? Now l'm taking your money!

What is it Noi, my little bro?

She's gone!

How the hell were you watching her?

She just vanished. She jumped out the window.

You fucking moron!

You are so unbelievably stupid!

ln a situation such as this...

...what am l to do, master?

Follow her, you dumb shit!

What kind of fucking exit was that?

Get her!

These bastards always put me in deep shit!

Can't you move a little faster, fatty?

Search everywhere!

Hurry up, Yak!

l'll kill that bitch when l find her.

Where are you going, you slut?

Get the hell out of there now!

Are you going to come out?

Noi! Get an axe and get me through this door!

Hurry up!

What now, dumbass?

l told you to get an axe!

What the hell are you doing with this retard?

Good God! You are so stupid!

l didn't bring him here.

He just came out of nowhere.

And who the fuck might you be?

Great! He doesn't understand Thai!

You have the highest education!

Talk to him!

Where're you come from?

He's bloody retarded!

Where the hell did he from?

l guess he's a half-breed, boss.

Half-breed my ass!

His mother must be Thai.

And his father?

His father must be an Alsatian.

You think l'm scared, you monkey-faced retard?

l don't have to lower myself to deal with you!

You can deal with my men first.

You! Show him what you've got!

You'll see some real Thai kick boxing, asshole!

This is the ''Alligator Shaking lts Tail''!