Manitou's Shoe (Schuh des Manitu, Der)

What happened 150 years ago today sounds like a legend.

This lovely Thursday in 1845 was awakened by the kisses of warm sunshine

at exactly 6:53 a.m. Central American Wild-West time.

The aroma of horse droppings as fresh as daises was in the air.

And this morning, the yearning of the Apaches was finally answered after 20 years.

Its a boy!

An Apache heir was born!

I have another one.

The succesion was ensured.

And it is a boy!

Watch the birdie!

This was the biggest day in the life of the most noble of chiefs,

who here does not want to be recognized.

He called his sons Winnetouch and Abahachi.

The twins grew strong and did much together in the fresh air.

They were inseparable, even on weekends and holidays.

To this day, the harmony in the chief s family is legendary even beyond the lands borders.

Thats enough! You think you can do whatever you want, you little shitters?!

I won't let you treat me like an idiot anymore!

I want to see respect, respect, respect!

At the age of 16, Winnetouch and Abahachi were enrolled

in Kiowa Houghschool, where they would prepare for the harsh life of an Indian.

Abahachi took the more practical courses, such as...

"Looking in the distance"

"Collective Fire Making"

and of course...

"Running Away!"

Winnetouch showed greater interest in the arts:

"Painting"

weekly music lessons...

and of course "Physical Education".

- Off-sides! - Shut up!

His choice of sportswear was in most cases not an optimal one.

Over here! The whole time I've been free!

One day, Abahachi was overwhelmed by a strange and unknown sensation.

He immediately sought out the medicine man because he thought he had the measles.

However, the diagnosis was: Uschi.

Abahachi was head over heals in love!

Oh, so adorable! Oh, so angelic! Comes the glory of...

Ursula!

Call me Uschi!

No, not now! Oh, Ursula! Oh, Ursula! You're so wonderful.

Though you see me barely in the light, could you see us going out tonight?

But... you know I can't!

Yet Abahachi did not give up.

And, so he taught the woman he adored how to identify tracks.

Brown bear?

Incredible! True!

Abahachi was certain that, once he grew up, he would take Uschi for his wife.

Until then he would spend his time engaging in his favorite activity...

hiding Uschi's clothes!

The best thing was that Abahachi could win whenever he wanted, because of Uschi's poor vision.

Of course, this is what they were up to the night before the infamous concert.

Oh, no!

Abahachi's grandfather was giving one of his legendary open-air concerts.

Abahachi was the happiest grandson in the world whenever his grandfather returned from a long tour.

They'd go hunting together and talk about everything that men find amusing.

Gray Star was very wise.

It was he who taught Abahachi that it was important to divide and share.

He said, "Always remember Moses. He even divided the sea for his people."

Hellas!

May I join you?

Of course he could.

And so a young Greek named Dimitri entered into Abahachi's life.

Then something extraordinary happened that would change history forever!

On June 17, 1861, during a concert, Grey Star spontaneously invented a new move...

the so-called "Stage-Dive".

Only the audience was not yet ready for it!

On his deathbed, Gray Star entrusted Abahachi with...

the last great secret of the tribe.

The grief over the sudden death of Grey Star was great.

Abahachi found solace with his friends and sweetheart.

Together they gathered to pay last respects to his grandfather.

Abahachi, with Ouzo in your bloodstream, you can pee like a racehorse!

It is drunk by man, it is guzzled by hound, tonight it is going the other way round.

I must urgently divide something with you all!

One for you... and one for you...

This would be the last meeting of the four friends for quite some time.

One year later, in 1862,

when Abahachi in the middle of his morning sneaking and slithering excercise

a pale face from the South named Ranger

saved his life at an ungated railway crossing.

Hey! Watch out!

According to Indian custom, they now had to become blood brothers.

They had no choice.

Abahachi and Ranger did what tradition demanded of them.

Ow! Are you crazy?

THE SHOE OF MANITOU

Watch it, curve!

Shut it! I've been taking this route for 40 years.

Blunt arrow!

Sharp arrow!

Foreigners!

In the face of Abahachi are written sadness and pain.

Dark clouds gather over the country where the Shoshone now live.

Here we go again!

Abahachi and his white brother Ranger

say "how" to Slinking Lizard, Chief of the Shoshone.

Stinking.

What?

His name is Stinking Lizard.

Abahachi brings the dead son of Shoshone Chief.

Abahachi is a murderer!

Now, wait! There is a big misunderstanding! - Yes, very big!

Tie them up!

What is that you carry in your arms?

Is that a puppy?

Where is my gold?

What?

So, er, well...

Where is my gold?

Let him finish speaking, asshole!

Shh, are you crazy!

Well, I'm right!

OK, the story goes like this:

We had an appointment with a real estate agent from Wyoming.

I had seen his ad in the newspaper. The listing said quote:

"New saloon in quiet location, no deposit, immediate occupancy."

I knew immediately that this was the new pub for my tribe.

The agent's associates seemed very professional as well.

I did not want to miss this bargain so I borrowed some of your gold.

Indians!

Greetings!

Right on time, as is expected of a Shoshone, your son Rabid Rabbit, delivered the Shoshone credit.

Everything was going splendidly.

Greetings.

So, you're the nancy-boy!

Right! Er, introductions...

Rabid Rabbit, Santa Maria. Santa Maria, Ranger.

Ranger, Santa Maria. Ranger, Rabbit, son of the chief of the Shoshone.

Sho..Sho..Shoshone!

The deal was perfect!

I was the proudest Indian in the world!

So: 15 year loan, due monthly. Annual 35.8% interest, plus taxes.

Yes, that's right!

What did he say?

I do not know exactly. He has a really thick accent.

Abahachi?

Yeah?

They even gave us a free bottle of firewater!

Congratulations!

Congratulations on the new pub. This is on the house.

I hereby christen you... er...

Apachen-Pub.

Apachen-Pub.

Well, I'd complain about that.

I have to go!

A good weapon.

Congratulations!

For what?

Nice door!

You're never satisfied! Always bitching!

Evening BBQs, cosy get-togethers, Indian seminars in your own saloon.

I said nothing about seminars.

The end. Done. Wave the white flag.

Where am I going to find a white flag out here?

Every Indian carries a white flag, except for you, of course!

Suddenly it was quiet...

too quiet.

The real estate agent from Wyoming and his associates had completely vanished.

Only your son remained, lying on the grass!

I was wondering how he could sleep with all that noise.

Hey, they're gone.

I don't think he cares.

Why?

He's... er...

We paid our last respects to Rabid Rabbit.

Can't you do anything right?

The truth is...

The man who cheated my tribe out of its new pub,

is also the murderer of your son.

On top of that, he also stole your gold!

What is the name of this man?

Santa Maria.

You steal gold from the Shoshone!

You kill my son!

And, now you slander a friend of my tribe!

How right you are, Slinking Salamander.

Unbelievable!

They killed your son!

No! Do not believe him!

Santa Maria speaks with forked tongue.

When the sun has defeated the moon,

the Shoshone will send Abahachi and his white brother to the eternal hunting grounds!

Stinking Lizard has spoken!

Insanely clever!

An Apache in a pickle.

Abahachi. Ranger.

Hombre?

I am calling it a day. Do me a favor and keep an eye on these two tonight.

I want to see how they will die tomorrow.

Alright, boss.

You...

What is it?

I'm sorry.

Why?

Thing are going great. We each have our own pole, and starting tomorrow we will have no more problems.

Well done, Abahachi.

Don't be that way.

Don't be that way.