Ballers

Kane is in the building, nigga...

Now tell me how you love it You know you at the top

When only heaven's right above it, we on

'Cause we on

Who else is really trying to fuck with Hollywood Cole?

I'm with Marley G, bro

Flying Holly Grove chicks to my Hollywood shows

And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know

This that Slumdog Millionaire Bollywood flow

And...

My real friends never hearing from me

Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me

That's why I pick and choose I don't get shit confused

Don't like my women single I like my chicks in twos

And these days all the girls is down to roll

I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole

Plus, I been sippin' So this shit is movin' kinda slow

Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go

- Keep her close, Roberto. - Sure.

I give it five stars, Tony. Five stars.

Hey. Come here. How are you doing?

Oh, he may be fashionably late,

but our intrepid leader

does not arrive empty-handed.

Are you about to hand us cash or something?

Even better. You cannot sip hundies,

so I've been saving these bad boys for a very special occasion.

Ooh!

Any of you motherfuckers that don't drink wine,

fuck you, you start tonight.

Yay.

"Go west, young man. Go west."

Why?

What the fuck do you mean, why?

- It's a super-famous quote. - By who?

I don't... Your fucking mother.

- I have no idea. - Oh!

I don't know. Fucking...

All right, forget it. You go.

- All right, all right. - Let's help him out, baby! Here we go!

I can't drop a quote. I'm not that smart.

You're fucking Mensa compared to this table.

Let me drop a little knowledge.

With success and self-improvement comes obligation.

- Fact. - And now we know that our brothers,

starting with Mr. Charles Greane,

- the Big Man himself... - Yeah! Last one!

I'm proud of you, brother!

And our other brother, Tricky Ricky Jerret...

...on their long, glorious journey to the other coast, Californ-I-A.

We're just relocating. We're not dying, brother.

So much pressure on me, I feel like I'm dying.

Safe passage, our brothers.

These brothers are flying on private jets,

not traveling on wagon trains.

Shut the fuck up!

I'm trying to deliver my goddamn toast.

We love you. We will miss you.

And we will hold it down until you return.

- Cheers. - I'll drink to that.

May you always have a clean shirt,

a clear conscience,

and enough coins in your pocket to buy yourself a pint.

Irish.

Sit your drunk ass down.

I'll drink to that, too.

Spencer, walking me to my car?

Can't believe it, man.

- Don't expect a kiss good night. - Ah.

Shit.

You might change your mind about that.

Look at you.

I see all that neglect last year didn't go in vain.

When I tell you I got you, I got you.

I knew that then. I just wanted some concrete evidence, brother.

- Like an episode of Dateline? - Right.

Word on the street is, though, you're looking for funds to expand.

Yes, we're looking to expand.

So am I, baby.

Count me in.

You sure about that?

Come on, man. Hell, yeah.

And they got another five coming after that.

Well, I'm feeling the pressure. Come on.

And you know you want to follow us to LA.

You know you do.

Ah, no, me and SoCal don't mix.

Why? What's the problem?

It's a long story for another time.

Come on. Get home.

- You know I love you. - Love you too.

It's a little fucking early.

And a happy good morning to you too, Spencer.

- Who is this? - It's Candace Brewer.

Candy. What do I owe the honor of hearing your voice?

I would have assumed you were a morning guy, Spencer.

Picture you at the gym at 4:00 a.m. doing curls.

I am a morning guy, but today's my cheat day.

Mmm.

Plus, I'm feeling a little under the weather.

Well, I have some info that should boost your immune system.

I'm always open to good news.

You're on the ballot.

Well, contrary to public opinion,

I'm not ready to throw my hat in the ring yet.

I'm not talking about public service.

Although, with the new brand of politics taking hold,

you'll fit right in.

You know, I don't quite know if that's a compliment or not.

I'm talking about the Hall of Fame, Spencer.

And I wouldn't tease you about something this momentous.

Wow! Well, I'm... I'm actually speechless.

Well, I'm not. Congratulations. It's well-earned.

Candy, thank you so much.

Really appreciate the call.

You're 10 hours early. Calais' meeting isn't till 6:00.

Come on. Get ready.

Got things to do, other people to see.

Like what? Calais is the only reason I agreed to come out here.

- What are you doing? - I don't know.

I heard you talking to somebody through the door.

I thought maybe you pulled something out of the hotel bar last night.

No, I was talking to Candace Brewer.

The days of me pulling anything out of hotel bars are long gone.

Yeah, me too. Gross.

Candy Brewer, huh?

Shit. We're in trouble again, right?

I don't care. She can't hurt me.

Old trouble? New trouble?

No, no, no, we're fine.

I'm just on the ballot for the, um, Hall of Fame.

You motherfucker.

- Congrats, man. - Yeah.

God, I just got chills. It's like I'm on the ballot, too.

Holy shit. You deserve it.

Now, come on. Shower it up. Let's go.

All right, let's do it. Do we have to sit in bullshit traffic?

- What are we doing? - We're going shopping.

Where are we going? Rodeo?

No, Lance Klians.

He's an old Burn buddy of mine. Ran into him last night.

He needs to sell his company.

So you're taking advantage of somebody else's misery.

Come on, man. I'm feeling good today.

Don't start the day with a lecture on karma.

What does Lance do?

He's the king of action sports, my friend.

- Hi. - Hi, sir. I'm Andrew,

your executive assistant.

- You got something stuck in your eye? - No, sir. It's a twitch.

It goes away after I get to know my boss for a few months.

- I've had a couple. - Oh! Okay, cool.

- Well, you just call me Charles. - Thanks, Charles.

First order of business, where do you want your desk and sofa?

Ah! Okay, so I'm thinking

we push the desk up against the window.

We move the couch over against the wall,

with the coffee table and armchairs facing in.

Ooh-wee! You're going good now. Something wrong?

It's just not very fengshui, your way.

Besides, I thought you'd want it a little bit different than Les.

He had it arranged that way?

Why didn't you speak up and say so?

Sorry to interrupt.

- Mr. Thompson. How are you doing? - I'm good.

So what are you planning with the 300 or so people

- who work for you now? - Three hundred. Wow.

I didn't realize there were so many people.

Oh, yeah. You have everyone from administration, communications,

community affairs and engagement,

consumer sales and marketing, data analytics...

Andrew. I got it. Everyone.

Is this overwhelming for you?

'Cause you seem like you're a little overwhelmed.

- No. No, sir. - Good, because, basically,

everyone that works in this building and in this organization in general,

they work for you now, Charles.

- Except you, sir. - Yeah.

In my experience,

it's best not to keep people in limbo.

You know, just cut the dead weight fast.

Maybe they'll find another job.

Yeah?

Call me if you need me.

Whoever says they miss sleeping in their own beds when they're away,

never slept in a fucking five-star hotel.

Don't you love being on the road together?

Huh?

Me and you? Where are we going next?

Someplace romantic like the Maldives?

Take that if the answer's yes!

- Yes. - Hey, buddy.

Brother. How's the Left Coast? It's pissing rain out here.

The last time I was in LA,

someone slipped me a Mickey at the ESPYs.

I'm not even gonna tell you whose bed I woke up in,

but they looked a hell of a lot like Bill Cosby.

Sure as hell ain't nothing like good old Miami,

where at least the people tell you

they're gonna take advantage of you before they even do it.