Grantchester

I start the day with Morning Prayer.

Go through correspondence.

Try to keep on top of the admin.

Then it's meeting people for weddings,

- christenings, funerals. - Ah.

The whole arc of life.

Exactly!

Visits to the school, care home, and halfway house.

Then book-end the day with Evening Prayer.

And how much time is set aside for these police cases?

Well, it's not an official part of the job...

I'm just teasing!

Though I've never seen a pandit make murder his business.

- A "pandit"? - A priest.

Right... of course.

- Hey! - Sorry!

I'm so sorry! Sorry!

Hey, stop!

Hey!

Stop!

- I didn't do anything! - Then why run?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay, okay. I'm not going to hurt you,

so you can stop apologising and start explaining.

It's a dare.

An initiation, really.

Procure a bible from a church.

- Steal a bible? - Ridiculous, I know.

College hijinks.

Is this really the way you want

to spend your time at university?

I'm not like this.

Never so much as stole an apple in my life.

All the work to get in here, and...

Well, I didn't realise college would be like this.

You're a freshman?

Life rarely turns out the way we expect.

Just... be yourself.

I fear being myself is a hindrance.

But thanks.

I'd best be...

This initiation, this club, it means a lot to you?

- What's your name? - Norris.

Norris Featherstone.

Take this, Norris Featherstone.

"Alphaeus."

Thank you!

- I promise to return it. - Well, I'll be waiting.

So this is normal student behaviour?

Well, he's trying to impress his friends.

Prove himself. It's... It's natural.

My Goodness, were you like that?

I had my moments!

Yeah, why do you think I got this car?

- It doesn't even have a roof! - That's what I said.

Very impractical and guzzles petrol.

And it's far too fast.

Please tell me you're not bringing

another murder case to his door?

No, I've brought chips.

Oh, thank you.

I thought I'd see if you were at a loose end, but...

Another time, perhaps.

No, no, there's a bus in a minute,

if I want to catch a good train.

- I'd best get going. - Oh, you sure?

I've had a wonderful time.

I'll get your things.

So he's given you the grand tour?

It's very beautiful.

He's loving having you here.

He is. Yes.

You okay?

We live such different lives.

Well, just give it time.

- Here we go. - Thank you.

Come here.

Bye.

Bye, Mira.

- It's a lot for her to take in. - No kidding.

I don't think she had Christian vicar

- on her bingo card. - No.

But lots of families have different beliefs.

Hmm, I believe jam goes on the scone first,

Cathy believes it's cream.

It's a wonder we've lasted.

Bit more time.

The more she visits...

The more common ground we'll find.

Just... you know, tread carefully.

Hmm. Of course.

How bad do you think it is?

The worst I've ever seen.

The worst?

Frankly, I'm doubtful there's a way back from this.

We're past the point of no return?

At best, we're on the cusp.

The cusp of the point of no return?

This could mark the end of us here.

Because there's mould, in the spare room?

What's really up?

Apart from the mould?

Nothing. Why?

Yesterday, you fixed the garden gate.

And changed Mrs Bennett's tyres.

Today, you've been exploring the spare room.

And I haven't done the dishes in a week.

God forbid I try to be helpful!

The halfway house's empty 'til next month.

We've had fallow periods before.

- You don't usually get this... - Industrious?

Bothersome.

If you had a hundred guests, you'd still be like this.

What is it?

I'm missing the church.

We've finally found peace...

and you just want to... to touch the iron!

I thought you'd moved on from this.

I can't.

I had purpose there.

You have purpose now!

A spiritual purpose.

Helping fallen men is wonderful but it's...

lacking in the divine.

And I need that, if only for a few hours a week.

It's part of who I am.

If I took away your camera,

would you stop looking for beauty?

Okay.

You need to talk to Alphy.

Ahem, yesterday's witness reports for you, I'm afraid.

Really?

Christ on a bike.

- It was in the dark. - Who cares?

He's got "guilty" written all over his face.

This is totally unnecessary!

We are completely innocent!

It's these boorish warts from Oxford!

Shoe the tabs! Shoe the ruddy tabs!

Goddamn bloody Oxford! Goddamn Oxos!

- Shut it, the lot of you! - Quiet.

Take their names.

I was there! I saw him do it!

- This is ridiculous. - What's all this nonsense?

Oxford lot are in town,

brawling down the Pickerel with some of ours.

Barmaid got pushed in the river.

Didn't they do this back in March,

with the bloody boat race?

It's not the rowers.

Rugby then?

As far as I can tell, quiz teams.

Quiz teams?

Oi, Tring, who said police efficiency...

Simon, let's not make this...

Shush, Norris!

Who said police efficiency

"is not measured in the number of arrests,

but on the lack of crime"?

Henry Fielding! Too easy!

It was Robert Peel, you dullard!

If brains were dynamite,

you couldn't blow off your hat!

Come on here. Come back here!

Bobbies!

Bobbies, Bobbies! Bobbies, Bobbies!

Ah!

Bloody students.

You looking to get charged with theft an' all?

Shove them in the cells to sleep it off.

What about the rest of them?

Want to give 'em "It's a Wonderful Life," boss?

Huh?

Make them wish they'd never been born.

Ah, knock yourself out Larry.

It was him. That plum.

I can assure you that this whole escapade

is incredibly out of character.

Simon has a spotless record at Jesus College.

He's a brilliant, thoughtful, conscientious student.

So conscientious he gave that barmaid a free bath in the Cam.

I've every right to charge him, Professor Adams.

I...

If anyone's to blame, it's me.

I invited the Oxford team here.

You invited them for a quiz?

University Challenge. You must have heard of it?

The one with the impossible questions?

That's it! Bamber Gascoigne. Starter for Ten.

An aspirational statement on English education!

I'm overseeing the Jesus College entry.

I heard our sister college were doing the same

and saw a way to sharpen our minds

on the whetstone of competition.

Sharpen your minds? More like bloody your knuckles.

Inspector, please strike this up to the folly of youth.

And I will be disciplining Simon,

and all of those involved.

I don't want to see that lad again,

unless it's on the telly.