Doctor Who

*DOCTOR WHO (2005)* Season 11 Episode 08

Episode Title: "The Witchfinders"

I'm sure it's somewhere around here.

Come on, Doc, admit it.

I don't know what you mean.

Well, look at it! This ain't the coronation of Elizabeth I, is it?

- Mmm. - It's like a street party.

Ye olde hipster pop-up happenin'.

The TARDIS is being a bit stubborn at exact readings.

- So where are we? - Apple bobbing!

I love apple bobbing.

- Is this Halloween? - No, it's Sunday.

Yeah, but what's the party for?

We do this every Sunday.

Oh, happy Sunday.

Northern accent, we must be close to home.

Mistress Savage demands your presence.

The ceremony will begin.

Anybody else missing the party vibe all of a sudden?

Go on.

Where are they all going?

Whatever this is, I need you all to remember,

the most important thing about dips into the past,

do not interfere with the fundamental fabric of history.

Even if something's not right?

Yep, and judging by the vibe here,

something is definitely not right.

Are you okay?

Can you tell us what's going on here?

Guys, that's Pendle Hill.

We're in Lancashire.

People of Bilehurst Cragg,

we are forced to meet here once again.

Satan stalks this land.

We must continue to root him out

and do whatever it takes to save the soul of our village.

Let us put the accused to the test.

- Granny! - Hush, Willa.

- It's a witch trial. - Old Mother Twiston.

Must be early 17th century.

You stand accused of witchcraft

and shall be tried by my ducking stool,

hewn from the mightiest tree on Pendle Hill.

If you drown, you are innocent.

If you survive, you are a witch and shall be hanged.

This is way too dark for me.

We've got to do something, Doctor.

Uh-uh. The Doc said don't interfere. You said don't interfere, right?

Don't cry, Willa.

I will still be with you.

I will still be with you. In the water.

In the fire.

In the air.

In the earth.

Duck the witch.

- Duck the witch! - Duck the witch!

- Doctor! - Not that way.

- Witch! - Come on!

Duck the witch!

Granny!

- That's it! - Meet me on the other side.

So much for not interfering.

Open the bridge. Come on!

Who dares interfere with this trial?

Thirty-five witches we have tried, and still Satan surrounds us.

We shall not be stopped.

Doctor, we're here.

You will be punished for your interference.

The trials are sacred. They are the will of God!

Is she alive?

I'm sorry.

Now we have

no way of knowing if Mother Twiston was a witch or not.

Guards, whip these wanderers off this bank

and then seize Willa Twiston. We can take no chances.

Leave her alone.

I'd bet my life neither of these women are witches.

But you, Mistress Savage, are without question, a murderer!

Who are you to address me this way?

I'll tell you who I am.

Huh?

Oh, sorry, one sec.

Witchfinder General?

That's right, Witchfinder General,

with my crack team, taking over this village.

Right, gang?

Yeah, 'cause you are in Special Measures.

Now do you recognise our authority?

I do beg your pardon, Mistress Witchfinder.

Please come to my home. We must talk in private.

If you swear not to hurt that girl or anyone else.

If that is your wish, you have the command.

Everybody go home.

This trial is over.

I have to bury her.

Please forgive me, Mistress.

If I'd have known who you were,

I'd have bowed to your authority immediately.

So tell me, who exactly are you? And what gives you authority here?

I am Becka Savage, landowner of Bilehurst Cragg.

It belonged to my late husband. Passed to me when he died.

I have tried to be a benevolent leader,

but... it's very difficult in these times, especially for a woman.

If you're the landowner,

why are you walking? Where are the horses?

Horses are banned in Bilehurst.

They are creatures of Satan.

I had them all shot.

Hey, Doc.

I've done the old Pendle Witches Walking Trail,

nobody ever mentioned Bilehurst Cragg.

Never heard of it, and she's killed 35 people.

- Thirty-six, now. - Yeah.

Maybe she wipes this whole place off the map?

We're going to find out what happened.

And how we can make her stop.

And that hall looks like the best place to start.

Not the only place.

I'm gonna find that girl who's just lost her gran.

We'll deal with Her Ladyship, if you go do some family liaison.

I'll meet you in a bit.

Hopefully by then I'll be a bit dry.

I hope the fire has warmed you.

- Some wine? - No.

So, your witch trials have become a weekly event

with a village celebration.

Any moment where a witch is uncovered and Satan driven out

has to be cause for a celebration.

We will not stop until that work is done.

You keep saying "Satan", but how is Satan manifesting himself here?

Blighting the crops. Bewitching animals.

Plaguing people with fits, sickness, and visions.

If all that's Satan, where do the witches come in to it?

They're in league with him. Kill the witches, defeat Satan.

As King James has written in his new Bible,

"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."

In the Old Testament.

There's a twist in the sequel, "Love thy neighbour", which is why we've come.

To help you fix your problems without killing anyone.

That's what King James would want.

What is the meaning of this?

Madam, I have come to your rescue.

King James.

Your Majesty.

You may prostrate yourselves before me,

God's chosen ruler and Satan's greatest foe,

come to vanquish the scourge of witchcraft across the land.

Forgive the mask, I have enemies everywhere and have to travel incognito.

Also, I rather like the drama.

A peculiar rag-bag of folks.

And those garments... Are you actors?

We are

witchfinders, Sire, as we explained to Mistress Savage.

Witchfinder's assistant?

So you must be the Witchfinder General?

No, she said she was.

A woman could never be the general!

Silly me, must have got all confused.

- Mmm. - Mustn't I, boss?

Er, yeah, that's me, Sire.

Er, Northwest Division, promoted from Essex.

And these are your underlings?

It's a very flat team structure. We all have our area of expertise.

Even the wee lassie?

Even me. Very handy under cover.

Set a woman to catch a woman.

A cunning ruse using your innate aptitude for nosiness and gossip.

And what is your field of expertise, my Nubian prince?

Er...

Torture?

- Me? - Yeah.

Er...

Paperwork, mostly, Your Majesty.

Paper? How fascinating!

We should talk.

But first, madam, word has reached me of your battle against Satan,

your crusade against witchcraft.

But what I saw today convinced me you need assistance.

That's what we've just been saying.

Hold your tongue, lassie.

Stick to snooping and leave the strategy to your king.

This is no time for the weak.

Satan preys on the innocent, even while they sleep.

Together, we must purify your land,

starting with the grandchild of the witch you tried today.

A fine plan, is it not?

A genius plan, Your Majesty.

- Oh. - Together we shall save the souls

of my people from Satan,

even if it means killing them all.

I will still be with you.

In the water.

In the fire.

In the earth.

In the air.

Willa!

Get away from her!

- Are you all right? - What was that?

I don't know.

But I want to help.