Destroyer

Today, our contestants will compete for over 100,000 dollars

in cash and prizes on ''Wheelers and Dealers''.

And now here's our host...

...Steve Kelley!

Thank you, John. And thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

...everybody's favorite game show

with lots of fun and fabulous prizes.

And the best prize of all,

...the sumptuous, the sultry, the scintillating, Susan Starr!

Come on, bitch. Let's play the game.

Who is going to play the game today?

Yes, Steve,

our first contestants are Pat Brown and Ron Reilly.

Welcome, contestants. Thank you, Steve.

Hi, Steve.

John, tell us what's in store for our players today.

Steve, today our grand prize is...

two luxurious weeks in...

- ...Hawaii!

That's right!

...or just relaxing. Yours from...

''Wheelers and Dealers''!

Suzy, are you ready to play the game?

Everyone at home, are you ready?

As you can see, our first puzzle of the day is a sentence.

Can we have this television turned off, please?

No.

The movie ''White Heat'' starred James Cagney...

Leave it on.

...Kirk Douglas, or Humphrey Bogart?

All right, Ron.

Cagney. Right answer, Ron.

Pick a letter.

How about an ''S''?

Yes, there is.

-A ''B''. Just get a ''B''. -

How about an ''R''? An ''R''.

There is no ''R''.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Ron.

There is no ''R''.

Would you like to finish your last meal, sir?

What was the occupation of Jack the Ripper's five victims?

Would you like to finish your last meal, sir?

I said, would you like to finish your supper?

Yes, there is.

Do you know what I'd like?

I'd like one of these motherfuckers...

...to get a ''B''!

Okay, then, your chance to get lucky and win...

...clouds in the sky. Now, look up and what letters --

- Aww!

Okay, it's time for our bonus question.

What's our bonus prize?

If you'd like to be a contestant

or a member of our studio audience,

simply send a self-addressed, stamped postcard

to Wheelers and Dealers, Box 12, Hollywood, California, 90038.

And now, Steve, here are our next two contestants,

Sylvia Chance and Paul Dean.

I'm a marketing analyst from -- -Hiya, Steve! Good to be here.

I'm a poodle groomer from Hackensack, New Jersey.

Steve, today our fabulous prize package

includes a genuine leather, swivel, rocker recliner,

featuring adjustable head and foot positions,

added ruffle velour arms, and magic massage with computer memory,

made from handcrafted Corinthian leather.

It's perfect for watching that big game or snoozing to the late show.

Do you feel lucky?

Yeah, I'm ready to go.

Well, well...

''The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Maketh me lie down in green pastures:

leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul:

He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff.

Thou preparest a table before me in presence of mine enemies:

Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:

and I will dwell in the house of the...''

All right, pick again.

Any last requests? A cigarette? Anything?

Turn that around.

-You mean the television? You bet...

Yeah, the television.

Could we have the television turned around please?

This guy's on a roll, Sylvia. Think you can catch him?

Now...

...a fuckin' ''B''!

-Baseball, beaver... -Bastard.

How about a ''T'', Steve?

Or barbecue.

Ivan Moser...

...you've been sentenced to die in the electric chair

for the rape and murder of 23 men, women, and children.

Do you have any last statement?

24.

Fry this sumbitch.

Ready to hit the jackpot!

I'd like to guess, Steve.

Is it, ''It's just you and me kid''?

- Aww!

Are you ready to take a shot at that sentence?

Okay, Steve. Is it...

...''It's just you and me now''?

Okay! Aw, man.

Congratulations, Paul!

...hit the jackpot.

Paul, pull the lever.

Okay.

Okay. Come on.

Come on.

Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen...

Whoo! Whoo! Yeah!

A trip to paradise!

All civilians, please, leave at once!

The prison is now in a lockdown condition.

All civilians, please, leave the prison at once!

''Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The sins of...''

Agh...

Ain't a pretty picture, is it, bitch?

David?

What?

David!

What, Susan?

What?!

This! These!

I mean, it's bad enough working at the damn prison

without you having to dig up all this stuff!

Are you having another one of your nightmares?

They're not my nightmares. They're your nightmares.

You're having... my nightmare?

Don't poke fun!

Come here.

I'm sorry.

All right.

Now.

It's just... It's just research for the execution scene

that I have got to write.

Okay?

It's a dream. It's a bad dream, and it'll go away.

I bet I know what you've been dreaming about.

I think we'd better do a little investigative reporting right now.

- But before we get to that,

let's check the traffic for ya.

Oh, shoot!

Why don't you write something funny?

Write a love story.

It's the '80s, Susan.

Love isn't funny!

Jesus Christ! Will you get off my ass?

Cut!

What do you think this is, the Olympics, huh?

Sharon, darling, can you, in all honesty, call that running?

Bobby, my smock was too tight.

Yesterday, it was too loose.

All right, once more, please! First positions!

Rewire?

Huh?

Are you ready?

Umm...

Yeah.

Okay, let's do it!

And in Washington,

the White House flatly denies all allegations.

Uh, give me a short stack and a side of bacon.

Locally, the glamour and intrigue surrounding the arrival

of a movie production company has given way to rumor and suspicion.

A couple of --

Hollywood's Greystone Productions is now filming

in the abandoned state penitentiary.

Two sailors on a raft, Fingers.

...which was destroyed in the riot 18 months ago.