The Middle

Family dinner-- The backbone of America.

A chance for families to get together

and talk about their day--

In our case, waiting for Sue to take a breath.

In middle school, they're called tater tots,

but in high school, they're called tater rounds.

- You know... - Oh, my gosh!

I almost said "tots" today.

That would have been such a frosh move.

Did you know that they call freshmen "frosh"?

May I please be excused

to go step in front of a moving train?

It's a family dinner. You suffer with the rest of us.

Go ahead, Sue. We're all very interested.

- We weren't. - So in middle school...

It was my fault, really.

I'm the one who had the bright idea

of family dinner.

Actually, Oprah had the idea in her magazine--

Oprah, who doesn't have kids.

Anyway, my locker's in frosh hall--

They call it that because that's where

all the frosh lockers are.

And at first, I almost couldn't remember my locker combination--

another frosh move.

- But then, I got-- - My God, Sue! Would you give it a rest?

Excuse me. I am her mother.

If I feel she needs to give it a rest,

I will tell her to give it a rest.

So anyway, the froshiest thing I did this week--

Okay, Sue, let's give it a... little break.

Axl, you're up. Didn't you have a science test

the other day? How'd that go?

Uh, actually, we won't get the scores till next week.

Actually, you can get 'em right now.

All the grades go up on the school web site,

and parents can check 'em whenever they want.

Axl had been having a rough go of it

with Sue now in his school.

He told her to be cool,

but there's cool and then there's Sue cool.

Axl!

Axl!

Axl!

Oh, my God! You ruin my life at school,

and now you gotta ruin it at home, too?!

I can't take it anymore! I need my space!

Axl! What are you talking about?

I totally give you space!

In what way am I not giving you space?

What kind of space am I not giving you?

Ugh.

All right, I guess we can't avoid it anymore.

We gotta run the dishwasher.

I'll get the broom, you get the towels.

Hey, Brick, you know, with Sue hoggin' up all the oxygen,

I don't think we've heard a word out of you all week.

How's fourth grade treating you?

Not well.

You didn't do something weird already in class yet, did you?

It's just the first week, Brick. You gotta pace yourself.

It's my teacher, Mr. Wilkerson.

He's a man.

I like women. I like their bosoms.

We all do, Brick, but right now you're in a bosomless situation.

- You gotta make the best of it. - But when he asks you a question,

he throws you the answer ball.

If I have to catch a ball to answer a question,

it's gonna be a long year.

Playing catch in class?

That, for most kids, is what's called fun.

But when he takes us to gym,

we're supposed to climb the rope.

He fails to pick up on my reluctance.

He's not a good fit for me.

You should probably go talk to him.

Um, Brick, if you have isSues with Mr. Wilkerson,

you're gonna have to talk to him yourself.

I mean, you're in the fourth grade now.

We trust you to take care of this.

You've matured.

Really?

Oh, yeah, you have, definitely.

Hmm.

You just don't wanna go see his teacher.

Gee, ya think?

I learned my lesson with Ms. Rinsky!

I'm not going anywhere near that school.

Did you have Ms. Wright for frosh math? Are her tests hard?

People say she's the hardest of all the frosh teachers.

Oh, my God! How do you do it?

Every day I think I couldn't possibly like you less.

Oh, also, I meant to ask you--

I still have to pick an elective

for my free period before frosh math.

So many choices!

Uh, typing, computer lab, home ec...

Hey, what about swimming?

Swimming?

I can do that as an elective?

Oh, yeah. It's a real gateway for getting on the swim team.

I mean, I don't know if you're even interested

in doing any extracurricular activities, but...

Swimming. Thanks, Axl.

You're a good brother.

He wasn't.

You see, with the pool here,

and Sue's next class way over here,

Axl knew there was no way she'd ever make it on time.

Let's just say revenge is a dish best served daily

between 11:00 and 11:05.

Oh!

No... no...

Tardy sweep!

Oh, no, no, no, but I had to come all the way from the pool.

It's so far!

Hey, do you wanna buy some weed?

Well, I took your guys' advice

and talked to Mr. Wilkerson,

and he said I don't have to take gym anymore.

When everyone else goes,

I get to sit in the classroom and read.

What?!

What kind of a male teacher lets a kid skip gym?

Seriously, does this guy wear sandals?

I'm telling you, Frankie, any money,

this guy wears sandals.

He was surprisingly receptive.

Yeah, but, Brick, they're all going to gym, you're not...

What are the other kids gonna say?

I don't know.

But I'll tell you what they won't be saying--

"Hey, there goes Brick. Let's get him."

Mm.

Well, okay, Frankie,

you're gonna have to go talk to this Wilkerson

and explain the whole deal of how Brick is.

Why?

Why do I always have to go down and explain how Brick is?

It's exhausting.

Can't I just type something up and pin it to his shirt?

Or tie it to his wrist?

Yeah, like a bracelet.

Like a quirk alert bracelet.

Oh, wait a second!

This could be a thing.

Mm, doesn't feel like a thing.

Mom! Axl tricked me--

There should be different categories of tardy.

I got put in detention with a marijuana salesman!

Hey, maybe you wanna go check out those tardies on

the school web site. But what's the password again, Sue?

Oh! I'll see you at the sawmill,

'cause you just got axed. Whoo!

Axl eats four doughnuts every day for lunch!

Ooh! See you in court,

'cause you just got Sued!

Just remember, Sue, too many tardies,

and it goes on your permanent record.

Now the one person whose permanent record

you don't wanna mess with is Sue.

She knew with a little planning,

there had to be a way to beat the sweep.

She tried cutting through the auditorium...

Tardy sweep!

Same with the cafeteria.

Tardy sweep!

She even tried a shortcut outside the building.

Tardy sweep!

Finally, after studying the map all weekend,

she cracked it.

She learned the quickest way

was through Mr. Bertram's shop class.

All that cross country had paid off.

Sue was gonna make it to her locker right on schedule.

If only Lucy Howard hadn't developed over the summer,

and Steve Johnson hadn't taken notice of it.

Um, excuse me,

uh, I need to get to my locker, please.

Ugh!

Um, don't know if you know,

but if you're late to class, you're gonna be tardy,

and it could go on your permanent record!

Tardy sweep!

Ugh! See?!

So the next day, she moved to plan "e."

If she couldn't stop at her locker,

she was just gonna have to bring her locker with her.

Hey! A little-- A little help?

A little-- A little help here, please?

If someone could just give me a hand?

Axl!

You didn't flip your sister?

What is the matter with you?

I cannot believe you wouldn't flip your sister!

It's embarrassing!

Doesn't matter, Axl. You flip. You flip your family!

You weren't there. Look.

Oh, you can't stop to flip your sister,

but you have time to take a picture?