South Park

And now a fireside chat

with the creators of Comedy Central's "South Park,".

Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

Hi, I'm Trey Parker. - And I'm Matt Stone.

And this here's ole Scratch. Say hi, ole fellow.

We do a show called "South Park."

Matt and Trey, tell us a little bit about yourselves.

Well, I-I met Matthew at the University of Colorado

where I was going to film school.

I actually met him in Beginning Filmmaking class.

I met him and found someone who could make me laugh,

even when I felt like crying.

Guys, who would you say are your role models?

Well, I'd have to say my biggest role model

is Matt.

I guess I'd have to say mine

is Theodore Roosevelt, for his work

with the Rough Riders in the Spanish American War.

Matt and Trey, tell us about this episode.

This episode is called "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe,"

and it's our favorite episode.

In it, Kyle's baby brother Ike gets abducted by aliens,

and Cartman has strange things implanted in his ass.

I think that the reason this episode is...

well, ole Scratch's favorite, anyway,

is because it's the only episode that

Matt and I animated completely by ourselves.

You see, this was the pilot episode,

done before we had a series.

So Matt and I had to do the whole thing by ourselves.

For several months, we were locked into

a cold, dark, little room

for long periods of time.

You know, that "Kick the Baby" game looks like fun.

Have you guys ever played it personally?

Well, neither Trey or I have children.

That's right, the only family we have

is each other and ole Scratch here.

We're not married yet. - We can't even get dates.

But the truth is, until we have children,

we're not gonna know whether or not we're gonna kick them.

You guys seem to write alien encounter material

with a certain, uh, knowledge.

Have either of you actually ever been abducted?

Trey, it's okay.

Go ahead and tell.

I grew up very near to South Park,

and so I was abducted when I was a small child.

I remember the experience.

I remember how horrible it was.

I remember too much.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy.

"Cartman Gets an Anal Probe."

Ah, damn it, my little brother's trying to follow me

to school again. -

Ike, you can't come to school with me.

Yeah, go home,

you little dildo.

Dude, don't call my brother a dildo.

What's a dildo? - I don't know.

And I'll bet Cartman doesn't know either.

I know what it means.

Well, what?

I'm not telling you.

What's a dildo, Kenny?

Yeah, that's what Kyle's little brother is, all right.

Ow.

Dude, that kicks ass.

Yeah, check this one out.

Ready, Ike? Kick the baby.

Don't kick the baby.

Kick the baby.

Aah!

Whoa, Cartman,

looks like you didn't get much sleep last night.

That's because I was having these bogus nightmares.

Really? What about?

Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed,

in the dark.

When all of a sudden

this bright blue light filled the room.

And slowly my bedroom door began to open.

And then the next thing I remember,

I was being drug through a hallway.

Then I was lying on a table,

and these scary aliens wanted to operate on me.

And they had big heads and big black eyes.

Dude, visitors. - Totally.

What? - That wasn't a dream, Cartman.

Those were visitors.

No, it was just a dream. My mom said so.

Visitors are real. - Yeah.

They abduct people and they mutilate cows.

Oh, shut up, you guys,

you're just trying to make me scared.

And it's not working.

Hello there, children.

All: Hey, Chef.

What's gonna be for lunch today, Chef?

Well, today it's Salisbury steak

with buttered noodles and a choice

of green bean casserole or vegetable medley.

Kick ass.

Say, did any of you children

see the alien spaceship last night?

Huh? - Yeah, fat boy saw it.

No, that... that was just a dream.

And I'm not fat. I'm big boned.

Oh, was it the ones with the big long heads

and the black eyes?

Oh! - They took him on their ship.

Oh, did they give you an anal probe?

Oh! - What's an anal probe?

That's when they put this big metal hoop-a-joop

up your butt.

Whoa, they gave you an anal probe, Cartman?

No, I mean... why would they do that?

Dude, they did, huh?

Aliens stuck stuff up your ass.

No. - An probe.

Shut up, dildo.

Well, I got to get to the cafeteria.

You children watch that fat boy, now.

He could be under alien control.

We told you they were real, Cartman.

Sorry to hear about your ass.

God damn it, they didn't do anything to my ass.

It was just a dream.

Why you walking so funny, Cartman?

Shut up. -

No, Ike, go home. -

This is it, this one's for the game.

Kick the baby.

Good morning, Miss Crabtree.

Sit down, we're running late!

Damn it, he's still there.

Oh, don't worry about him.

No, dude, if something happens to him,

my parents are gonna blame me.

Sit down back there! Aah!

Yeah, whatever, you fat bitch.

What did you say?

I said I have a bad itch.

Oh.

Oh, my God!

Visitors.

Ike! Stop the bus!

Miss Crabtree, you have to stop this bus.

Do you want an office referral?

No. - Then sit down!

But I...

Aah!

Cartman, are those the same visitors you saw?

Shut up, you guys, it's not working.

We have to do something.

Well, we can't do anything for now.

That fat bitch won't let us.

What did you say?

I said that rabbits eat lettuce.

Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do.

What am I gonna do?

My little brother's been abducted by aliens.

You farted.

Somebody's baking brownies.

That's the third cow this month.

At this rate, all my cattle are gonna die

before the winter's through.

This is nothing out of the unusual.

Cows turn themselves inside out all the time.

People been saying they've been seeing UFOs around.

UFOs?

Yeah, and black army CIA helicopters and trucks.

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

What was that?

That... that was a pigeon.

What am I supposed to do, Barbrady?

Just stand here and watch my cattle

get mutilated one by one?

Hey, my cattle!