It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Would you describe these pieces more savory or succulent.

It's definitely way too over cooked to be succulent,

but it's still pretty delicious.

It's still savory, right?

Now, what if we insert it in beer?

Do you think that would help like regain it's succulence.

- Like a beer-rub. - hu-hum.

That's actually really smart. Mac, grab us some beers.

Bite my bird. What are you eating?

Oh, dude, Dee and I cooked up a great steak.

Frank's got, like, this whole fridge full of these delicious meats that I've been stealing.

You guys wanna try some of this?

Someone who sweats as much as you should not work with food.

Charlie?

You son of a bitch!

I told you stay away from my meat!

- Spit it out. - Come on.

Spit it! Spit it out!

Now!

You too. Spit!

Come on.

Right there.

Why you're being such a selfish jerk?

Hey!

I killed the dear, I should get to eat it.

That's the natural order.

Wait, you shot a dear?

That's right. 10 point buck

Ping!

Right between the sorrowful little eyes.

Since when do you, bro?

Since always. I'm a great hunter.

How does hunting a defenseless creature make you a good hunter?

Yeah, you should go after something that could at least defend itself.

You know, a really great hunter would go after something that can hunt him back.

- Like a man! - Hell yeah, dude, a man?

Don't even joke about hunting a man.

Who's joking? I'm not joking.

I think that hunting a man would be the only true test of a good hunter.

Yeah? I was hunted once.

I just came back from Nam.

I was hitching through Oregon

and some cop started harassing me.

Next thing you know, I had a whole army of cops chasing me through the woods.

I had to take 'em all out. It was a bloodbath.

That's Rambo, dude.

What?

You just described the plot of Rambo.

Yeah, that's the first from the first one.

Yeah, I think you gave us the life of the Rambo.

That's not the first time you've described your life in the way of John Rambo's like.

Yeah, you know what?

It's actually making me think I can get on board with man-hunt.

Really?

- Me, too, dude. - I'm just throw that out there.

No.

You do not go on a man-hunt.

- Screw ya. - Yeah.

Script & Sync : Heli

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 4x01 - Mac and Dennis: Manhunters

1st Aired: 9/18/2008 (FX)

Try that one.

- This one? - hu-hum.

- Good, a little bit of sauce with. - We don't have any slice left.

- It was just the The Natural Juice of two by the way. - Oh, so good!

It's not actual sauce.

Oh, my god, good job!

I can't believe that dick horrible put the lock on the refrigerator.

- What a sonofabitch. - That wasn't cool.

You know what though? At least he forgot about this piece.

What a dump ass.

Did you do something different thought? 'cause it's sooo good this time.

- I barely cooked it. - Really?

I'm talking like not at all.

- No kiddin'. - hu hum.

What I did, I slopped through the radiator for minute.

- That's pretty bogus. - not warmed it.

No, but it's cleaned up.

It's so good though. I don't care.

Okay, good. But here's a good side.

Well, well, well~

What have we here.

Looks like you two're up and enjoying my meat!

Yes, we have a new fashious meat hug.

Yeah, hey, Franky.

Sharing it. It's a rule now~

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourselves.

Maybe we should open up a bottle of desert wine.

A nice port,

that would compliment what you have just eaten.

By the way,

you know what you've just eaten, right?

Was it venison?

You wish it was venison.

Was it a horse?

Horse?

That, which you have just eaten, that,

which your teeth have just torn apart.

Your taste buds have savored, that

was human meat.

- Yeah, ok. - So stupid.

- You're so stupid! - Well, thank you for the human meat, Frank.

Thank you for our human meat.

- No, you're welcome. - It was delicious.

- I knew you're gonna steal from me again. - You're stupid.

- That's why I put a lock on the fridge. - Yeah.

- And only left one piece of meat out. - I get it.

- Human meat - Alright.

Where'd you get the human meat from, Frank?

- I got a guy. - You got a guy?

Oh, you got a human meat guy?

- I got a guide for everything, Charlie. - You're so full of shit.

- Yeah, ok, right. - Oh, yeah, Deandra, you think I'm full of shit? - hu hum

- Well, you enjoy yourselves, now. - Thank you.

- I am glad you had a good time eating human meat. - Thank you.

- That wasn't human meat though, right? - No~~~!

Hey yo. Dennis, I did it.

It took me all day, but I finally finished a list of ten people that would be perfect to hunt.

Great, and I totally respect your opinion, but I've already made a decision.

That's the complete opposite of respecting my opinion.

Hey, don't I know it.

Check it out, bro.

Hey!

Dennis, are you sure Dee is coming?

Yeah, yeah, she's coming. She wants to look great for your big date.

- Do I get that right? Are you serious? - Yeah, man, he's perfect.

You don't believe? Check it out.

Hey, Cricket, will you, come out here for few second please.

Yeah.

just stand before us here.

Now, check out his legs.

See how they're almost tierd? They're like pretty much back to perfect.

Yeah.

And check out his cane.

Looks like he's whittled it into some sort of defensive tool.

Wow.

But, that makes you quite formidable, huh?

Ok, what's going on here, huh?

- Where is Dee? - Admit it, Mac.

- He's perfect. - Yeah.

Yeah, he'll do just fine.

Oh, god, oh, god. I know you're up to something.

You're gonna harvest my organs, aren't you?

- Yeah, - Hey, relax.

- You're gonna rope me and you're gonna harvest my organs. - Relax, Cricket, relax, relax, take it easy.

You don't wanna be all nervous and sweaty when Dee gets here.

It's ture she's coming?

Ok, ok.

Yeah, for second there, I thought you guys're gonna do something terrible to me.

Yeah, we are. Stack on 'em.

No, we're gonna hunt you.

What?

We are going to hunt you, Cricket.

Why?

Uh.. I'll spend a lot less time asking questions, more time running.

Yeah.

What, what happens if.. if I get caught?

- Wu, don't get caught. - Don't get caught.

There he goes

and hunt begins!

Indeed, indeed.

-This gonna be fun. - Yeah.

What do you suppose gonna happen when we do catch him?

- Well, I suppose we do some tea-bag related. - hum

Dee!

You're home, thank god.

Ok, let's talk. Let's have a quick conversation, huh? What do you think?

- I couldn't sleep last night, could you? - Nope.

And I'll tell you why.

- Yesterday. - Yesterday.

What's going on?

Oh my god, Charlie. I didn't wanna say anything,

but I'm thinking there's some strange going on with this meat, such a wish.

Yes, ok, now, I know it's crazy. The idea Frank feeding us human meat.

- Yes! - But, I'm trying to disapprove it.

- I absolutely can. - You can't do it, can you?

Let's talk to taste.

- The taste! - the taste, Charlie, I tried everything. - I can't get the taste out of my mouth!

- You can't get it out, right? - Absolutely not.

- And if you try all source of other meats, - Yes!

- like daily meats and sandwich meats. - Absolutely!

And then did you go crazy? Just looking everything in your apartment,

like your shoe, item with a catch fanny, like nothing's working, right?

Maybe, it's a trick.

Ok? Maybe, he went and got some weird, exotic meat that we wouldn't thank to try.

- Ok, it's not like regular grocery store kind of meat. - No, not meat from a grocery store.

He got it from some weird place.

Ok, let's, let's think here. Let's put our heads together.

Where could Frank go to get mysterious meat?

- This is the place, huh? - This is where I can find.

Just start grabbing as much stuff as you can.

Ok, we'll take, um, that big brown mound and

the curly stuff and then this thing looks like a blanket.

- Try some of that. - Definitely.

Oh, oh, what about a monkey? Monkeys are like nature's humans.

I doubt they have monkey, Charlie.

People eat monkey, Dee.

They're eating type of doom. Have you ever see that?

Hey.

We got monkey.