Fuller House

Merry Christmas.

Oh, my Santa.

Guys, I worked 60 hours this week. It's four o'clock on Christmas Eve,

and you still haven't gotten the house Christmas-ready?

- Come on. Work with me. - You said, "Get in the Christmas spirit,"

so we're watching the most heartwarming Christmas movie ever made -

Die Hard.

Die Hard?

- "Yippee-ki-yay, moth..." - Hey, don't finish that thought.

Oh, come on, people.

I don't smell cookies. I don't see tinsel.

I haven't checked the halls, but I am assuming they are not decked.

Mother, I tried, but they just don't have the Christmas spirit

like you, me, and Tommy.

None of these lollygaggers moved a muscle.

They refused to hang the stockings with or without care.

Ooh, Die Hard. Now it feels like Christmas.

Oh.

See what I've been working with?

Oh, I knew I could count on Kimmy for some Christmas spirit.

Are you gonna put out presents?

Not unless someone wants my sweaty gym socks.

This is my laundry bag.

Okay, that's it.

- Wait! - Mom!

With Dad, Uncle Jesse, and Aunt Becky visiting Michelle,

I was counting on you guys.

You are all on my naughty list.

You're not gonna tell Santa, are you?

There's no option off the table.

I'm gonna see him in 45 minutes

because I am taking Max and Tommy to the mall.

And when I get back, this room better be filled with so many Santas,

I couldn't even swing a red-nosed reindeer without hitting one.

There's no time for relaxation, people. It's Christmas!

I should probably take Tommy.

- Aw... - Ohh...

- All right. - One, two, three, four.

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

Then it hit me.

Silent night, holy night.

Santa flies his sleigh through a hole in the space-time continuum.

That's how he's able to get to every home in one night.

What don't you say out loud? Ha ha.

Kimmy, what are you doing?

Duh. I'm leaning over the railing in a dangerous fashion.

No, no, no. You can't do that.

You're pregnant with my baby.

Why do I keep forgetting that?

I really should look down more often.

Whoa, did you double in size overnight?

Sure did. Second trimester started today.

When we Gibblers pop, we blow up like a tick on a water buffalo.

Pregnant Gibblers also have heightened senses,

but not the normal ones, like throwing up when you smell chicken or library books.

We get ultra-sensitive hearing.

Yep. In 1775,

Great-Great-Great Grandma Gibbler heard the British coming.

That jerk Paul Revere took all the credit 'cause she was too fat to get on a horse.

Hey, what are you doing with all these old clothes?

Oh, I am collecting donations for the homeless shelter.

I'm volunteering there for school community service.

Wow. That's so cool your school makes you do that.

You know we go to the same school?

I hear DJ coming.

Now, there's someone with the Christmas spirit.

Quick, get rid of all the Santas.

You mean the hundred Santas that you asked us to put up?

Don't use my words against me.

Tommy is suddenly terrified of Santa. He had a meltdown at the mall.

It couldn't have been that bad.

SANTA AND ME

- Yeesh. - Yeesh.

You know, it's funny,

I have that same picture of me on Russell Brand's lap.

Don't ask.

Hey, Max. How did you like Santa?

It was terrific.

I'm no linguist, but it's almost like he was saying it wasn't terrific.

But Max is Mr. Christmas.

Not anymore.

I mean, he was fine until we got in line to meet Santa,

and then he suddenly announced that he was over Christmas.

- What happened? - I don't know.

He just left the line and spent the next four hours

in a massage chair at Brookstone eating Korean BBQ.

That sounds like the best Christmas ever.

It does, doesn't it?

Oh, but instead, I've got two kids who have gone full Grinch on me

and a boyfriend who won't be here for Christmas.

Well, at least Steve left you that sweet voice mail.

Yeah, it was sweet. I miss...

Wait. How did you know about the voice mail?

I just listened to it in the car.

My Gibbler pregnancy hearing.

Wait. You didn't hear anything else, did you?

Of course not... Boo Bear.

Hey, Rocki,

it's me again.

When you get this, give me a holla. Holla!

I've left her five messages and haven't heard back.

Maybe she can't hear you over that sweater.

Oh, wait, wait. No, Kimmy. Here... let me help you with that.

Here we go. The milk, the cookie... Tiny bite. Okay.

You gonna be like this the whole pregnancy?

No. I, like your pregnancy, am going to get worse as time goes on.

Santa cookies, no. You have to get rid of those before Tommy sees them.

No problem.

Why didn't you just hide them?

I didn't each lunch.

I just... I don't understand why Tommy's so afraid of Santa.

Maybe it's because Santa is a bearded stranger

who breaks into your house and steals your milk.

Or he's a jolly, magical friend who brings you presents.

Only after he passes judgment on you in a punitive fashion.

Oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the bah humbugs.

Hey. Max, what's going on?

You're usually my Christmas hype man, spreading Yuletide cheer.

That's the old me.

I'm too mature for all this Christmas nonsense.

Wha... Wha...

Too mature for Christmas?

There's no such thing.

Does anybody got a crayon? I got to finish my letter for Santee.

Hey, Steve. Just leaving you another voice mail.

You're probably doing Lakers stuff. We'll be watching the game tonight.

So, hopefully someone will roll an ankle, and we'll get to see you on TV.

And, Kimmy, if you are super-listening, please stop.

Sure thing, Boo Bear.

Bye, honey.

Got your text. What's up?

What's up is that it's Christmas Eve, your favorite day of the year,

and that includes the season premiere of Blue Bloods.

Told you. That's old Max.

Well, I miss old Max.

Everyone does.

And that is why we are going to do everything we can

to get you back into the Christmas spirit, Fuller style.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I present to you the Fuller Family Holiday Extravaganza.

That's sort of not fair since you know how much I love an extravaganza.

Wait. Hold on. Lady with a baby coming through.

Let the cavalcade begin.

It's an extravaganza.

Oh. Well, then I want my money back.

First up in our pageant of Christmas cheer...

Oh, wait. It's a pageant? Oh, then keep my money.

You know him. You love him. It's...

Tommy Jr.

Yeah, Tommy!

Here's your paper, sir.

Thanks, Tommy,

but by now, all the Japanese markets have already closed.

Tough crowd, Tommy. Okay.

All right, next up -

he has a heart of gold and abs of steel.

You know him as Jeremiah Jeff Coat Johnson,

Jimmy Gibbler.

Yeah, Jimmy.

Does anybody else taste pennies?

I appreciate the effort,

but how is this supposed to get me in the Christmas spirit?

Don't know. He was supposed to sing "Jingle Bells."

Max, honey. I don't know what's upsetting you, but we're a family,

and none of us can have a happy Christmas unless you have a happy Christmas.

Will you at least help us finish decorating the tree?

Sure.

Okay.

- Come on. Grab an ornament. - Here. Let's decorate.

Here we go.

Here you go, Max.

Oh, no.

I know what this is about.

Knock-knock.

I'm not here.

Max, I think we should talk about what's upsetting you.

Who says I'm upset?

A house full of people who love you.

I think I know what's bothering you.

You do?

Yeah.

Because I used to have similar feelings around the holidays.