Judas Ghost

Ghosts are everywhere...

whether you choose to believe in them, or not.

Some are simply trapped here...

Spirits...

looking for help to pass on to the other side.

Others are more dangerous.

They are here to hurt us.

Ghosts exist.

But then, so do we.

Knock it off, Jerry. We're supposed Tobe professionals.

I am a professional,

currently lowering himself to appear in some training film...

for those wide-eyed little ghost finders still in training.

Hello, ghost finders, wherever you are.

Watch. Learn. Don't have nightmares.

Can we make a start, please?

Hello, boys.

Guess what I do.

Don't anyone else feel like they have to help with all this extremely heavy equipment.

What a dump.

Why don't ghost sever haunt anywhere nice,

like a first-class restaurant?

Or Spearmint Rhino?- Down, boy.

Concentrate.

Here be ghosts.

Or, at least, there had better be.

I'd hate to think I brought my nice new suit all the way to this backwater little town...

if there aren't ghosts, ghoulies and long-legged beasties to be found.

Why do I always end up having to haul this shit around?

Because it’s your shit.

And you launch a major hissy fit if we even try and touch it.

That's because you always break things.

Boys and their toys.

Lower the noise level, darlings. I need to concentrate.

Team telepath.

We'd be better off with a trained dog.

Okay, these are disturbing.

Either the play group's been cutting back on the Ritalin...

or these little tykes have been getting very bad vibes from this place.

It's odd. I'm not picking up any traces of the children.

Minds as open as theirs...

should have left psychic imprints all over the hall,

like smudgy hand prints.

Ian, get your toys in order.

I want a full scan of the hall on every level you can manage.

Stay out of my head.

If you don't want me in there, you shouldn't think so loudly.

Okay, contact has been established.

The institute is seeing and hearing everything we are.

I'm sending them real-time coverage of everything we're picking up.

Maybe I'll give them a flash, make sure they’re paying attention.

- The camera will be able to pick up something

that small?- Funny woman. Very funny.

What do you think, Mark? Should we just plunge right in?

Or do we have to wait for the Pearl & Dean adverts first?

Just get on with it. Introduce yourself and your team.

Explain what we're doing here.

The institute will put in all the technical shit after.

Recording. Three, two.

Hello there! I'm Jerry Mackay, leader of this happy band of ghost finders.

We, like you, work for the Carnacki Institute.

Our brief is to investigate hauntings, find out what's behind them...

and then do something about them.

We find ghosts, and we lay them to rest.

Often with extreme prejudice.

We'll be showing you how to deal with a standard haunting.

Pay attention. The soul you save may be your own.

And make plenty of notes. There will Bea test afterwards.

Everybody knows there are bad places in the world...

Houses that make you walk by on the other side of the street,

bedrooms that no one in their right mind would sleep in,

the mirror with too many faces in it,

the dim figure standing at the foot of the bed,

the dark at the top of the stairs.

Places...

where the walls of the world have worn thin...

and the things from outside are trying to get in.

There have always been ghosts...

Things that aren’t quite dead enough,

that hang around like...

guests reluctant to leave the party,

tapping on your window late at night.

But they're dead...

and we're alive.

That gives us the advantage.

Over the next few hours, we'll find the ghost, find out what’s keeping it here,

then put it to rest,

whether it likes it or not.

Because that's the job in the Carnacki Institute field teams.

We do not take any shit from the hereafter.

Good work, Jerry.

Good words. They should be.

He took long enough writing them on the train coming down.

And he locked himself in the toilet so he could rehearse it.

Practice and preparation prevent piss-poor performance.

You are right though, Ian.

What self-respecting ghost...

would choose to haunt a charmless shit-hole like this one?

Is this your subtle way of admitting you haven't read the briefing files... again?

Uh, I was busy.

Inspired deathless prose doesn't just write itself, you know.

Plus, you always read the briefing files.

Teacher's pet. Or is it the other way round? One does hear rumors.

So what are we dealing with here...

in this entirely typical village hall?

How long have you got?

What a name.

Umfraville.

Ready to go, guys.

Institute has hired the hall for the whole evening, so we shouldn't be interrupted.

But, uh, the sooner we put this one to bed and go home, the better.

Okay?

Recording. Three, two.

Just recently, people have been getting bad feelings here.

Feelings of unease, of being watched.

All the traditional signs of a standard haunting...

A sense of an unknown presence, glimpses of strange faces,

unexplained figures that come and go.

No one will stay in hereon their own anymore.

The local play group has moved to a new location...

because the children have started having hysterics for no obvious reason.

Though those painting son the wall may provide a clue.

- Hold it. This is happening by day, not just by night?- By day and by night.

But other than that, it's practically textbook.

Some people said they could smell blood when there was no blood.

But you're not getting anything right now?

Not a thing, sweetie,

which is starting to unnerve me just a little.

Right. Let's get this show on the road. Ian, where’s my scan of the hall?

I want everything from temperature fluctuations to electromagnetic variations.

Anna, give Mea full psychic scan, past and present.

Anna. Try to pick up something.

Jerry, this isn't right.

I'm still getting nothing, which is just wrong.

Given how many people have used this hall on a regular basis,

this room should be lousy with trace memories.

My head should be full of voices.

But this place...

is just dead.

Which can only mean that someone...

or something very powerful is hiding here,

behind a projected screen of...

Nothing to see. Move along.

You think the institute knew about this?

You think this could be some kind of test for us?

I wouldn't put it past them.

What’s he doing here?

Mark?

The last thing I heard, he was still in the asylum.

Presumably he got better.

But what’s he doing here?

On this mission?

What are you two whispering about?

And why do I get the feeling I’m not gonna like the answer?

I don't know, dear. Maybe you're psychic.

Ian, what's your equipment telling you? I want a full report. Now.

Uh, let me see. Uh...

Is that a good "uh"or a bad "uh"? It's hard to tell.

I'm getting nothing on most of my readouts. No cold spots.

No temperature fluctuation sat all.

And the motion sensors aren’t picking up anything but us.

Are you sure we've come to the right place?

All I'm getting is dead air, so to speak.

Let me know at once if anything changes. Okay?

Uh, what do you think, Mark?

Should we carry on?

Well, unless and until something really out of the ordinary happens, yeah.

The lack of readings could be just local phenomena, a fluke.

Still got a training film to make.

Anyway, you're an experienced team.

If something really nasty should ooze out of the woodwork, you can handle it.

Right?

Right.

So, um, talk to camera? Uh-huh.

Now we're going to take you through some examples...

of what you should expect to encounter during a standard haunting.

Every haunting is unique, but there are some basic types.

Let's start with one of the most common... poltergeists.

- Give me the damn sedative!- We need to get her out of here!

Give me the bloody sedative!

All poltergeist activity has a trigger.

This usually turns out to be someone in the family, often a teenage girl.

Identify who this person is,

remove them from the location...

and everything should go back to being normal.

No supernatural treatment required.

Unlike our next example...

Exorcism.

Just calm down. Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

That's one kind of close encounter you may wish to avoid...

or, at the very least, dress appropriately for.

Never mess around with possessions.

Always have a reliable exorcist on speed dial.

If you have to do it yourself, remember your training.

Do not stint on the holy water.

Now we come to what is probably the most familiar type of haunting,

the ghost or revenant...

That which returns.

Modern ghosts have adapted to modern settings.

They can appear anywhere.