American Dad!

You ever feel like every day of your life

has been leading up to one moment?

Look how nervous the groom looks.

Wait. This is a hamster wedding?

Oh, here comes the bride.

like Kate Middleton at Westminster Abbey!

This is so stupid.

This show is all fluff, no substance.

Your mom prefers fluff. It makes her happy.

But there's so much real news out there.

I feel like I get all I need from "Morning Mimosa!"

and I start my day with a smile.

And that smile takes me

all the way to my 4:00 p.m. OxyContin.

You need to expand your mind.

There's a lot of real news out there,

but you need to seek it out.

Seek the truth. The truth will set you free.

Hey, who are you?

Mom needs to get out of her bubble.

And end up like you?

Look what real news has done to you.

- Excuse me? Sir? - Those scowl lines.

Mom looks 20 years younger than you.

- Sir! - 20 years younger?!

Wha... I'm 19!

I now pronounce you hamster and wife.

Hayley, I have something to tell you,

but it can't leave this room.

Last weekend, I was at that hamster's bachelor party

in Key West, and he...

Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm betraying his trust.

He was not faithful.

You missed my birthday dinner

for a hamster bachelor party?

Aah!

*AMERICAN DAD* Season 13 Episode 02 (TV Release: S15 E02) Title: "Paranoid Frandroid" Aired on : February 12, 2018.

Welcome to Conspiracy Con!

Will you be paying with untraceable bitcoin or...

A big jar of filthy change.

Nice. Keepin' it O.G.

Now, here's your badge and two pumps of deer urine

to repel Bigfoot... And a little CK One

because now you smell like piss.

Roger, who are these people?

They're here for Conspiracy Con.

They're truth seekers looking for a safe haven

from our corporate overlords.

Trust no one...

except Verizon's 4G Network.

I may have let a few corporate overlords in.

Lizard people have infiltrated everything...

The government, sports, even Tinsel Town!

Elizabeth Taylor?!

You mean "E-lizard-beth" Taylor?

Ryan Gosling?

Very lizard.

They don't talk about

any of this stuff on "Morning Mimosa!"

Paper towels are just tall toilet paper.

Is that man okay?

Better than okay. He's got the "truth twitch"!

Right now he's seeing the world as it truly is.

I can help you see the truth, too.

Are you about to sell me drugs?

No. I need my drugs.

Snot, this is gonna be so amazing for you.

As if.

Of course I'll help!

Got it. "Chesterbrook..."

Were you about to write

"Chesterbrook Townhouses"?

Uh... yeah.

Snot's mom is dating this guy, Del, who lives there.

And get this... he invited them to move in!

Del sounds like a catch, bro.

Chesterbrook is high end... Nice landscaping, tennis courts,

communal pool with tons of noodles.

Uh, you can help them move with me.

Oh, hell yes!

I've been dying to get a peek inside a Chesterbrook unit.

But, remember, we're there for Snot.

Steve, I am deeply offended.

Have I ever not been there for Snoot?

Francine. Celery?

Those better be giant gummy celeries,

or I'm gonna have a full meltdown.

Sorry, I didn't get to the market yesterday.

Stan, you'd tell me if you were a lizard, right?

Okay, I'll bite.

What in God's name are you talking about?

Roger's hosting Conspiracy Con in the attic.

That's what's going on up there?

I assumed those creeps were here for a Roger sex thing.

Don't beat yourself up, Stan. We're also having sex.

The electro-radiation booth's running low on foil.

Those guys use it for everything.

The condoms hurt like hell, but I'm not ready to be a mother.

Francine, there are no conspiracies.

They're all fake junk.

But what about George Soros controlling

the Federal Reserve from an underground bunker?

Shh! Francine, he's Jewish.

That's what he should be doing.

He's helping us.

You're all worked up over nothing.

Oh, look! Almost time for someone's favorite program.

"Morning Mimosa!"?

Mwah. That's right.

Just sit back and let gentle morning infotainment

fill your head.

Up next, what our frisky newlywed hamsters

can teach you about pleasing your lover in bed.

Ooh! Stan! You forgot your lunch!

Oh, crap! The foil got lost inside me.

Francine, if you're going to the store,

pick me up some Plan B and a magnet.

In honor of the "Great Snot" moving in,

I took the liberty of stocking the fridge.

Specialty sodas?

Damn!

Cucumber? Toasted marshmallow?

Hey, look, they take all the eggs out of the carton

and put them in the little egg spots in the door.

That's the Chesterbrook difference.

And the final stop on the grand tour...

your new bedroom!

Del wanted to convert his home office,

but I thought it might get noisy next to our bedroom.

Me have sex with the Great Snot's mom?

Uh, yes please.

Del seems great.

He is. It's just... Isn't it a little depressing

living in the basement?

Are you serious?

You have been given a finished basement.

It's like a blank canvas to be awesome in.

Just imagine... air-hockey table, Jamaican flag,

and an Aerosmith mirror some older brother won

at a carnival ring-toss before he died in a car accident.

You know, the classic basement!

I guess that does sound cool.

Who cares if you think it's cool, shithead?

It's for the ladies!

They can't resist the power of a sweet basement.

Then you add music, maybe something like...

Trish, Sues, emergency production meeting onstage!

Shh! The executive producer is approaching the stage.

So, I'm head honcho, and I still have to open my own doors?

Sorry, sir. Y-Your coffee?

It's too late. You're fired.

Wait. Gimme that coffee first.

Damn. All right, team.

Most of you know I took over "Morning Mimosa!"

when I realized I could use it to protect my wife

from the harshness of the real world.

Why did Stan come here?

Unfortunately, Francine was exposed

to some scary ideas yesterday,

so we're gonna need to turn up the fluff.

I'm talking cute animals, I'm talking makeovers,

I'm talking 2-year-olds who break-dance.

Because if we don't, I fear her ignorant, fragile mind and...

If I'm being honest... Her backwoods sensibilities

will be thrown into upheaval.

Francine?!

Uh, you all know my brilliant, stable wife,

the sheer essence of continental sophistication?

You told me conspiracies were fake junk,

but... but I'm in a conspiracy.

And, Stan, you put me there.

This isn't a conspiracy. I'm, uh...

I'm doing all these people.

It's just an orgy.

See?

What exactly did you hear?

That you have been secretly running

"Morning Mimosa" for years to keep me in a bubble!

And to also provide a reliable lead-in

for "The Young and the Restless."

I can't trust you.

I can't trust anything.

The bubble... has burst!

Nice.

Whoa-ho-ho! Cool room, sport!

Thanks, Dad. Sorry, I mean "Del."

No, it's okay. You can call me "Dad."

All right, Pops.