Return of the Living Dead Part II

Hey, come on, off the equipment.

I tell you a hundred times a day, stay out of here.

Damn.

All right.

Good. Now you get to be a member of the club.

That's okay. I'm not the joiner type. I mean, you wouldn't want a guy like me.

We already voted. You're in.

- What do you know. - You want to see the... clubhouse?

Uh... I've got homework. My sister, she's making me...

- Too scared? - Me? Scared?

Uh...

- Well, what do you think? - Oh, uh...

...a little old-fashioned for my taste... burial, I mean.

I'm more into stuff, like, you know, cremation...

...where you scatter the ashes out of the plane...

...throw them in the ocean, maybe even have your favorite music playing.

Okay, okay. Come on.

- There it is. - That's the clubhouse?

- Yeah. You want to make something of it? - No. It's great.

Okay, then. Come on.

Hey, wait a second.

- Who's buried in here? - Come on. I'll show you inside.

- Uh, I really gotta get back. My sister... - We got a meeting.

- Thought you weren't scared? - That was before.

Initiation time.

Hey, look at this.

Jeez!

- What do you think? - Don't know. It might be supplies.

- What kind, though? - I don't know.

Ammo, maybe. Combat stuff.

Hey, check this out.

I don't think you should play around with that.

Shut up, wimp!

- Finders, keepers. Right? - Yeah.

Hey!

Wait up!

Oh, shit!

Oh, no!

Oh, shit!

It's the Army, the real one.

This is serious. We gotta call that number.

You're not gonna tell them about this, see? Know why?

- Let me out! - 'Cause you won't be able to.

Let me out!

Well, here we are.

Oh, creep me out!

Joey, are you sure that you want to do this?

The guy offered me 100 for a night's work. I can't turn that down, can I?

- Grab the bag, will you, kid? - Are you gonna be in there all night or what?

A couple hours, tops. You wait here.

- Gee, that sounds really exciting. - Take it easy, baby. No sweat.

I don't want to take it easy, Joey. I want to go out and have some fun...

- ...so will you just hurry up? - Okay.

Oh.

And will you be careful, too, please?

- Goddamn mushy stuff. - Come on.

What if somebody wants to know what we're doing here?

You tell them you're a grave-digger, and you'll be tellin' them the truth.

Only difference is, we're the kind that takes 'em out...

...instead of putting 'em in, see?

Jesus, Ed. What do you do with them?

Oh, there are all sorts of crazies out there. They want the skulls from interred bodies.

That's the key, see? They gotta have been interred.

No, siree, nobody wants skulls that haven't already been buried.

Come on. I mean, how are they gonna know the difference?

It'd be dishonest to give them skulls that weren't buried.

Jesus.

Okay. Okay. Just a little decayed matter.

Nothing to get unhinged about.

Oh, shit!

...long time.

Lousy kids are always pokin' around in my gardens.

Stay cool.

- Look at that! - Oh, what the hell?

Hey, you, kid! If I catch you in here again, I kick your ass...

...and then I call the police!

Guess I've just got a way with kids, huh?

Aw, what a shame.

It's not even ripe.

Damn kids, they have no respect for the dead.

- Makes you sick, doesn't it? - Yeah.

- Well, let's get started. - Yeah.

Take it to the side. Press out. It's one, two...

...three. Now, pushing the walls, keep 'em apart. Don't let 'em come in.

Again, four, three, two. And, do the front.

And swinging those arms.

Standing tall, it's four, three, two.

Now to the side again. Now, press. Press...

Hey, Jesse, see that? Mom says you follow those rules, or it's my butt.

You follow those rules, or it's your butt.

Up! Up! And take it down.

First one says "homework," and you don't go out until you finish it.

- Now get going! - Ready, we're going to do that again.

And to the side. And...

Come on. Let's get out of here. I can't breathe.

That's a good boy.

You got it.

Not bad. Nice bit of rump in her time, huh?

Looks choice.

Get me the bag, will you?

Well, open it, like you do in the store.

- Oh... - Kiss, kiss.

Now you know what a bagman is.

Oh, that's it. I don't need the money. I'm out of here.

Come off it. Who's gonna know? Her?

Besides...

...I'll bet that girlfriend of yours...

...would sure like this. Huh?

Huh?

Yeah.

What is that stuff?

Swamp gas.

Makes my skin feel like slimy ice or something.

Come on. Let's get this one up here.

"1957."

Perfect.

Move it! Over here. Come on. Let's go.

Jesus Christ, not again.

Look, Beth, Mrs. Billings says I've gotta have this damn cake ready...

...for Home EC in the morning.

How the hell do you separate a white from a yolk?

I swear, this whole thing is so stupid.

Hold on a sec. It's the door.

Coming!

Oh. Uh... hi.

I'm with cable TV. I have an installation order here.

Yeah. You were supposed to be here, like, three hours ago.

Yeah, well, I'm... this is all really new around here. I got sort of lost.

Wait a minute. Aren't you, uh...

...don't you go to Central?

- So? Big deal. - Yeah. I went there, ya know.

I graduated last year. Maybe you remember me. Tom Essex.

Student council, swim team... almost.

No. No, I don't remember you.

Um... TV is in here.

- I've gotta see Billy, please? - He's not feeling too well. I put him to bed.

- But I've got his homework assignments! - Oh, well, you can give it to me.

No! I mean, I've gotta show it to him, or he won't understand.

All right, but just for a few minutes.

Billy?

What do you want?

What happened? What did you...

Below normal? Are you keeping this under your tongue?

You do feel cold. God, I told you not to go running around in the rain.

You opened the thing, didn't you?

Say anything about this, and your ass is grass.

Jesse, that's all now.

You shut up about this, or else.

Brains!

Brains!

I want your brains!

Give me...

...brains!

Brains!

Joey?

Okay. Okay.

- Do you hear that? - Sit down and have a sandwich, huh?

- The missus made 'em. - No, I think I'll pass.

You're right.

There's a chill in the air tonight.

Fifty-eight years old, can't be too careful in this weather.

- Yeah, you'll end up in one of those. - Nuh-uh. Not me.

You'll never find me in one of these. I'm gonna get me cremated.

You're afraid that some old creep like you is gonna come along and steal your head.

Watch your tongue, boy, if you like this job.

Like this job?

Like this job?

Joey?

Okay. Okay, that is it. I am out of here.

Oh, shit! Shit!

Okay. Okay. Um... the van, you can take the van. It's right over there.

Oh, fuck this!

Should've taken the chicken soup.

Holy Jesus, Ed!

Holy mother of God!

Ed. Ed!

Is there something I should know?

You're supposed to be dead!

Ow!

Oh! Holy shit! This is big fucking trouble!

Joey! Joey! Kill it!

Joey! Joey, wait for me!

- Joey! Joey! - Come on!

Joey, get 'em!

Brains!

Brains!

Brains!

- We gotta get Brenda. She's all alone. - Brenda? What about me?

- You selfish jerk! - Oh, I am. I am.

Oh, Lord, forgive me. They're dead! I thought you were finished with them!

I got a feeling he's not listening right now.

We gotta handle this thing, whatever it is.

- But first we gotta get Brenda. Come on. - No, not that way!

- The road. This way! - Go.

- Joey! - Whoa, Brenda, honey, baby!

- How are you? You okay? Are you okay? - I'm okay, I'm okay. Joey, what did you do?

He didn't do anything. It's me they're after. It's my sins!

- Hail, Mary, full of grace... - Quit doing that!

- Oh! The Lord is my... - Shut up!

- Save this sinner, please! - There's lights over there!