Secrets & Lies

Make the most of this beautiful train.

That's it. Okay.

Yeah.

That's really great, yeah, yeah.

Okay, now as I said before, you're under no obligation to

but you can if you want to, give me a tiny little twinkle.

Yeah, that is... Lovely.

Great.

A little bit closer.

Now, don't you worry. You'll be all right.

There's just a little bit, that's it.

And you've got an eyelash on your nose. We don't want that, do we?

It's supposed to be on your eye, not on your snitch. (LAUGHS)

That's it. You've got a lovely smile when you smile, haven't you?

Right, okay.

Now, you keep that lovely gorgeous smile.

That's lovely.

I think that'll do for the time being.

Well done, Sarah.

That's the easy bit. (CHUCKLES)

They make a noise, don't they?

At least they can play out around here.

I suppose so.

- What is it? - Is that a suit?

Well, it came as a combination.

Do they go together?

Well, if you think they do, they do

and if you think they don't, they don't.

It's nice.

Twenty-one in August.

She is.

I used to worry meself sick when she played out.

She survived it though, didn't she?

All things considering.

She's back on the streets now.

I beg your pardon?

Well, she is, isn't she?

I don't half-miss her.

I know.

How long is it since we've seen her?

Two-and-a-half years.

We could always ask her over.

- I'd like to. - For her birthday.

It's only a couple of months away.

- (CHUCKLES) - What now?

"Hey, Roxanne, what are you doing for your 21 st?"

"I'm goin' over to my auntie and uncle's house for my birthday treat."

It was only a suggestion.

She's probably doing her own thing.

I suppose we'd have to invite Cynthia as well.

There's no show without Punch.

I'm sure she'd like to see the place.

Oh, I'm sure she would.

- She can't help it. - Can't she?

It's about time you showed it off.

I mean, you've done a lovely job.

I think so.

I really must get down to see her.

You speak to her on the phone, don't you?

It's not the same thing though, is it?

She's your sister.

I'm really proud of that portrait.

I reckon that's the last time she ever smiled.

I dunno what's got into you lately.

You complaining?

- No. - Well, shut up then.

Sit here on me own for years on end.

Can't get you to stop in at all.

- And now you never go out. - Leave it out.

You've been sitting there for a month with a face like a slapped arse.

Well, what's there to smile about?

I thought he might've phoned at the weekend.

Who?

Who d'you think?

I ain't heard from 'im for ages.

- He's busy, ain't he? - We're all busy.

He's got his weddings and that. It's the summer.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Well, if you're that bothered, why don't you ring him yourself?

He's your brother.

I'm not running up me phone bill.

He knows where I am if he wants me.

He'd have had us up there to see it by now, I expect, if it weren't for her.

Toffee-nosed cow.

What's he want with six bedrooms, anyway?

What's all your mates doing tonight, then?

I don't know. I ain't asked 'em.

You wanna get yourself a bloke.

That's what you wanna do.

I've told you. I don't wanna get anything.

I'm quite happy here, thank you very much.

When I was your age, I could've had the pick of the crop.

Well, why didn't you?

Because I lost my poor mother, that's why.

Oh, here we go.

I was stuck at home here from the age of 10,

looking after Maurice and your granddad.

Yeah, we know.

Then I got saddled with you.

That was my downfall, darling.

I didn't ask to be born.

No, and I never asked to have you, neither.

Well, you should've thought about that before you dropped your knickers.

With...

Or without?

I think without.

- Without? Okay. - Yeah.

What about this one? Better with or without?

I think this time it's with.

With? All right, we'll pop this one in, then.

I hear you're a really good runner.

- Yeah. Cross-country. - Have you won anything?

Not yet. I've only just started.

Okay, then. Look up again.

Now, this is gonna blur a bit

- but just tell me what you can read, okay? - Yeah.

H-L-A-C-T.

- Right. - And I can't read any more.

Okay, that's good.

Very good, I'm gonna do your other eye now.

- Are you off, then? - Yeah.

Got any plans for the weekend?

Well, I've got to go to my mum's house and sort through her things.

- Oh, have you? - Yeah.

Hope it goes all right.

- Well, it's gotta be done. - Yeah.

- Okay, then. - Right, I'll see you on Monday.

Yeah.

- Have a nice weekend. - Cheers.

Ooh, enjoy the christening.

- I'll try. Bye. - Okay. Bye.

It's 10 past. We've got to pick Shelattica up.

What are you talking about? We've got 10 minutes.

Listen, we've got to sort this out while we're here.

Look, basically, right, it's you, one, here, in this massive house.

- Thank you. - This house is massive.

We have got two children, you understand?

- And we could have more. - What?

We wanna have more.

Listen, right, you can't stay here on your own. It's not fair, is it?

I mean, we can sell the house, can't we? Sell the house and split the money.

Listen, you know what? You could split this whole house in two, right?

You could split this into two flats and it'd still be bigger than our place.

Split it in two? Exactly.

You can't split it in two...

Now, let's sort your tie out for you, if I may.

- Looks just a little bit skew-whiffy. - Oh, skew-whiff again. (LAUGHS)

Yes, that's lovely.

- Do you want the paper out? - Yeah, yeah, okay.

You ladies look gorgeous. Hands together there.

Very nice, okay. Here we go.

Put your paper down there.

Right then, here we go. Okay, and...

Do we say "cheese", Maurice?

Well, you can if you like, but you can, you can say "cheese".

You can say whatever you like. But just give me a little...

That's it.

- Ahhh! Ah, yeah, very sweet.

- (GRUNTING) - Great, that's lovely.

So, that took you 15 years, yeah? - Yes.

- They give you a prize? - No.

Not even a stethoscope or something?

- (CHUCKLES) - Lovely.

Yeah, that's really lovely. Come out, Jane.

I'm so glad he's got his eyes open.

That's it, yeah, that's it, and give him a hand.

Look down. Lovely.

Are you gonna see that flea collar?

- Are you going to see that? Don't worry about that.

You come out now, come out.

- You just come out the way. - That's it.

And pop out now. And out, and here we go.

I think you left the comb in there that time.