Beach Babes from Beyond

Gork, do you really think we should have left Xena alone?

What if she gets into some trouble?

Don't worry, Yanna.

Everything will be fine.

Besides, what kind of trouble could she possibly get into?

I trust her explicitly.

Now more than ever since she dumped that geekazoid, Gonad.

Yeah, you're right.

But I still can't help worrying.

You know the old saying, it's a mother's prerogative.

Yeah. How could I forget?

Yanna, my little nebula of love,

we got three whole days without having

to listen to teenage gossip on the telatransmitor.

And not having to wait in line to use the fecal matter

neutralizer.

And, oh, I want to stop off at this way station 36.

to get some of the special fuel additive for the t-bird ship.

When you've got a beauty like my t-bird ship

you want it to run with maximum performance.

Hell, you never even drive it.

Yanna, you know that's not true.

Just yesterday I took it for a spin

and used nearly a full tank of fuel.

That's why I need the additive.

You think more about that ship than you think about me.

It's just that I've spent so much time

restoring the ship I want it to run right, MY

little ring of Saturn.

That does it.

This the last time I'll ever marry a man 30 years

younger than I am.

Don't mind us.

We want to borrow some of your stuff.

You make the best garments.

Yeah, very chic for the fashionable Desquizian

teenager of today.

I'm so flattered.

If you sold these in stores you'd be rich.

I'd have money, but no boyfriend.

No boyfriend is better than Gonad.

Believe me.

Yeah, he's a mega-space degree geekazoid.

And he probably has a small cranial capacity.

Cheer up.

Boys are like from another planet, anyways.

Who understand them?

Yeah, can't live with them, can't disintegrate

them with a gamma death ray.

Yeah, I know.

Guess I just need to forget about him.

I need to meet someone new. - I'm bored.

Let's do something.

Like go to Astro-burger?

Boring.

What about Alpha miniature golf.

You've got to be kidding.

Hey, we could cruise Delta Alpha 43 solar system.

Isn't that where planet Beta 45 is?

No way, guys.

That's off limits to everybody.

Know what would happen if we got caught there?

We'd be in big trouble.

Are there boys there?

I don't know.

Besides, we don't even have a ship to cruise in.

No, you can't be serious.

Your parental units are away for three whole days.

Absolutely not.

They'll never know if you use their ship.

They're parents.

They're telepathic about these things.

- Whoa. - Hey, keep out of there.

This is a rare vintage model.

Wow, a t-bird ship.

With black-hole compressor nanoplasm drive,

delta-enriched fueled carbs, four on the floor,

and the greatest stereo this side of Arcticus.

Xena, does your dad take you for rides in this?

He never takes us anywhere.

We'd have every guy in the galaxy checking us out.

Yeah, to check out the ship.

- Can we take a ride? - No.

Ah, come on. Please?

Nothing's going to happen.

I promise.

I don't even have the magnetic starter strip.

OK.

Just to Beta-45 and straight back.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Slow down.

You worry too much.

So what do you think these Betonian boys look like?

If there are any there.

What I want them to look like is, lots of muscles,

piercing eyes, hairless, cheekbones,

and a big cranial capacity.

What about you, Luna?

He's got to be smart, a scientist,

concerned with the environment.

He's gotta be handsome, trimmed, and have a--

A big cranial capacity.

What about you, Xena?

Well, he's got to be artistic, sensitive, passionate.

He's got his .

Definitely has to be well traveled.

Most important, he's got to be very down to Vasquez nature.

And his cranial capacity?

Is that all you ever think about?

Well, yeah, most of the time.

How far away do you think we are?

About five light years, I think.

That's all?

It's practically right around the corner.

Oh, no.

I think my dad forgot to fill up the auxiliary fuel points.

You didn't check?

And here's Beta 45.

This is not a good place to ..

Right. Lock your windows.

You never know who will come crawling around.

Dave, I'm really glad you let me come out with you, man.

You're my best buddy.

Who else would I come with?

Wow.

California.

I can't believe we're almost there.

Yes.

Now you're sure it's OK to stay with your uncle?

Yeah, Uncle Ben is the coolest.

I hope I run into that big kahunas guy.

He's a hero to me.

He's a man amongst men, a legend.

His legacy has guided me on my journey to manhood.

What journey?

You're 18 years old.

You barely know what life is about.

And you made this crazy decision about your life

based on some mythical guy.

A guy can dream, can't he?

What's happening?

What are we going to do?

Hold on, guys.

Did you see that?

What?

That light?

It was probably a plane or something, man.

- It's not a plane. - Dave, no.

Do not start with that UFO stuff again, man.

It's too kooky.

That was a UFO.

Yeah, I'd like to be abducted by alien space babies

and have close encounters of the 69th kind.

You've got a total preoccupation with sex.

My achy back.

Hey, I offered to drive, Dave, man.

Thanks.

I wanted to get here in one piece.

Wow. It's the pacific ocean.

It looks just as big as Lake Michigan.

Yeah.

That's Uncle Bud.

Come on.

Davey!

Bud.

All right.

You finally made it, huh? - Yeah.

- OK. - Hey, this is Jerry.

Hey.

Mr. Elrick, how you doing?

Don't call him Mr. Elrick.

And don't call me late for lunch.

Uncle Bud. - Uncle Bud.

Oh, man.

Are you guys OK?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, my parents are going to ship me

to the Death Star for this one.

You should have checked the fuel before we left.

What I should have done is not listen to you.

Girls, girls.

Let's not argue about this.

Let's just figure a way out of here.

You're right.

Great. Communicator's out.

Let's check out Beta-45.

I mean, we're here.

The Earth's supposed to be safe,

but let's check to be sure.

Oxygen, nitrogen, some hydrocarbons, sulfur.

It's a little polluted, but we can breath.

Come on. Let's go.

I made this lifestyle choice a long time ago.

Used to be I felt terrible.

I'd do that-- I'd do that red mean.

I'd do dairy products.

I'd surf in nasty beaches.

Now I have changed my life.

I'll probably live to be 100.