Joey

Previously on Joey :

This is bad. You cannot tell her I told you...

...that she's in love with you. - In love with me? You said feelings.

- Yeah, she's been totally obsessed with you. - Obsessed? You said love.

Jimmy is Michael's father?

I drank myself blind and robbed a McDonald's.

Just stop playing games.

I wanted to be more than friends. It's pretty clear that you don't.

If you really wanted to be with her...

...we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I'm going over there.

Oh, my God, Dean's still over there with Alex.

He spent the night. He's wearing the "Ten Reasons...

...Beer Is Better Than Woman" T- shirt I loaned her.

I just got number four.

I can't believe I blew my chance with her.

Like, how could she be with Dean, huh?

He doesn't deserve her. All he thinks about is sex, you know.

Going from girl, to girl, to girl, to girl. He's a total pig.

- You know you just described yourself, right? - But he's old.

Joey, look, all these things you just said about Dean are good for you.

This thing with him and Alex is not gonna last.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

And as soon as he's out of the picture, I'm gonna swoop down like a...

...sex vulture tracking down a blond chipmunk.

I did it again, that's another great saying.

- Joey, Gina? - Hey.

Oh, I just had to come by and show you. Your new action figure's come out.

Oh, my God. They made an Agent Ron action figure from the movie.

Oh, this is so cool.

Wow, look at that, that's amazing. It looks just like me, huh?

Wow. You know, funny how Ken and Barbie split up...

...right when this guy shows up on the scene, huh?

Coincidence? Why, you rascal.

Congratulations.

It looks great.

Whoa, whoa, wait a sec, what's wrong with my arms?

Come on, give me a little muscle here.

Oh, well, at least they gave me good pecs.

I don't think those are pecs, Joey.

Agent Ron's got boobies.

Maybe they made a mistake at the factory and put your head on the wrong body.

Well, you've gotta fix this. Look.

Well, don't you worry, I will.

But before I make them jump through hoops to change this, I just gotta...

I don't have breasts.

Sir, there's something up ahead...

...and it's coming this way.

It's a giant hermaphrodite.

Oh, hey, Dean is leaving my apartment in the morning...

...which some of you might call the "walk of shame. "

But I don't feel any shame about it.

If everyone's so curious about what happened, then I will tell you.

We didn't do anything. And it wasn't for lack of trying.

- This guy wanted it bad. - It's true. I was not subtle.

Okay, this is fun, let's go.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Spent the night and no action. Bet you're dying to get out of here.

No, Alex and I are gonna go out to brunch.

You struck out at her house, you're not gonna get any...

...for an omelet and some French toast. - French toast? I'll do anything for that.

No, listen, Joey.

This is gonna sound weird coming from me, but it's not about the sex.

I like Alex. I mean, I think I could really like Alex.

Shut up.

- You can tell me, buddy. Be honest. - No, no, I'm serious, man.

- Listen, I better get going. - Can I get a ride?

- Where you going? - To brunch with you guys.

I can't believe that. He seems like he really likes her.

What are you gonna do?

I can't do anything for now. Dean is my friend.

A dude can't move in on a girl that's with another dude.

That's the dude code.

- You gotta look out for yourself. - But he really likes her.

You know, he even said, "It's not about the sex. "

He's talking like a woman.

No, no, not you, you're like a guy with boobs.

- Like you? - Shut up.

I forgot to tell you, Jimmy's back in town. He wants to talk to me.

Jimmy? Oh, no. I'm not ready to see him yet.

I haven't decided if I'm gonna tell him I'm his son. I should go.

Are you gonna take off any time he comes around? No.

I'm gonna tell him. It has to be right.

I'm just spitballing ideas, but a great time to tell him...

...might be while you make me a sandwich.

- Hey, Jimmy, welcome back. - Hey, Joe, how you doing?

- Good. - Michael.

I've really missed you, man.

Hey, look, if I gave you some signal that made you think I wanted this, I'm sorry.

You know, we never have to apologize to each other.

- So, the kid, what's the upside here? - He's cool. He's cool.

- You want something to drink? - Yeah.

So, what's up?

It's Gina, man, you know?

I figured now that I'm back, we could really reconnect.

But she won't return any of my calls or nothing.

I had this job offer out of town, came back just to be near her.

I don't think the Army counts as a job offer.

What do you know, all right? The recruiting guy really liked my ideas.

- Jimmy, what the hell are you doing here? - Why won't you call me back?

Because I don't wanna talk to you. You disgust me.

- Oh, yeah? I disgust you, huh? - Yeah, you make me sick.

- Make more saliva. You're gross. - Yeah, maybe your mouth is too dry, huh?

Stop calling me.

- You see? - Yeah, yeah, you're a couple of sickos.

Yeah, it's a thing of beauty.

Come on, man, I'm going crazy. You gotta help me out.

- Okay, I'll talk to her. - All right. Thanks, I owe you one.

- No problem. - Hey, Jimmy.

You wanna have a catch?

- What? No... Hey. He got me again. - Yeah.

Oh, hey, do you have any curry? I'm cooking dinner for Dean tonight.

Sure. Yeah, it's right over there.

Thanks.

So, you and Dean, huh?

Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that.

Is that weird, him being your friend and everything?

Weird? No, I think it's awesome.

In fact, you know what will make it a really romantic dinner?

There's still snow on the patio, have it out there.

Okay, that's a nice idea. That'll be fun. Thank you.

Yeah, okay.

Stupid Dean.

That curry should be giving me diarrhea, not him.

- Hey. - Hey, Zach, you know how dudes have...

...a code about not moving in on another dude's girl?

- Oh, absolutely. - Yeah, are there any loopholes to that rule?

None that I can think of.

So there's no way that it'd be okay for me to move in on a friend's girl, huh?

Wait a second, are you sleeping with my wife?

- What? What wife? - How did you even meet Sun-Yung?

I don't care if it was a green card thing...

...you find yourself another woman. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, Zach.

I am not sleeping with your wife. I wouldn't do that to you.

- This was outside for you. - This must be the new action figure.

This is gonna be so cool, huh?

Great.

What are you talking about? The doll is black.

Oh, is it? I don't really notice that kind of thing.

Joey.

Something horrible has happened with the doll.

Oh, hi, Zach, I didn't notice you there.

Something horrible has happened with the doll.

Bobbie, don't these things go out in two days?

- Yes. - You gotta fix this. This is terrible.

Oh, I wish I spoke Korean.

But I don't think the people at the factory understood me.

Hey, I'll call my wife.

- Hey. - Hey, Mom.

What's going on? Why'd you guys want to meet me?

- Jimmy's coming. I think you should talk. - Joey.

Gina, no, no, look, you gotta give him a chance.

He's a really good guy and he's Michael's dad.

- Why are you being so weird around him? - I'm not. Everything's normal.

- Can I get you anything? - Ginger ale.

Oh, my God, you're pregnant.

- What are you talking about? - You've never ordered...

...ginger ale before ever in your life.

That is not true. I order ginger ale all the time.

- What color is it? - Okay, fine. I'm pregnant.

- Oh, my God. - Gina, this is huge.

Are you okay? I mean, are you happy about it?

Yeah, I'm happy, I guess. I'm just a little freaked out.

I'm gonna have a sibling.

Michael, decide which beer you're gonna have later, okay?

Your mom is having a baby.

And the dad, is?

Jimmy. Again.

Gina, don't beat yourself up.

Anyone can get pregnant accidentally by the same guy twice.

I can't believe I'm gonna be a single mother again.

Look, we are gonna do this together, okay?

And this could be a good thing.

Wow, you're gonna be a mom. And I'm finally gonna be an uncle.

- Hey. - Of a real boy.

So, wait, I don't understand.

- Why are you avoiding him? - I haven't figured out how to tell him yet.