The Wrong Mans

Apparently, we are under a blanket of ice here...

BBC News on Friday the 8th of January.

Good morning. This is Moira Stuart.

Lizzie!

Lizzie, I don't know if that's you or your answerphone.

I love you. I love you.

Hi, it's me again.

Um, just come over as friends.

Still got my...

black V neck cos...

I really love jumpers.

What?

Car crash. Ambulance.

Amazing really, innit?

If you'd have been a few steps further up that road, you wouldn't be talking to us now.

Have you been drinking, sir?

I'm sorry?

Drinking? Alcohol?

A bit, last night.

I was at home.

My flatmate had a party and I just sort of got dragged into it.

You can't arrest me for drink-walking, can you?

I'll ask the questions, sir.

Were there illegal substances at this party?

Calm down, Doug. Cut the kid some slack.

We've all...

I mean, I didn't inhale, obviously. Not me, Officer!

Yeah, but you are in shock. We should take you home.

I'm OK. I really have to get to work.

Oh, something to hide at home is there? No, I'm just...

I'm already late for a meeting. If you do need us, there's my card.

And we've got your address, if we need you.

Yeah.

Hello?

'Where are you now?'

Um... 'Where are you?'

No, it's not...

'Let me make this quite clear,

'If you're not here by five o'clock, we will kill your wife.'

So, I want the work we do going forward

to prove that this was the right thing to do

and that our town does have

a bright future to look forward to,

thanks to the generosity of Mr Reid.

And now that the redevelopment has got full approval,

I want...

What about the rail link?

It's just rumours, Alan. Don't worry yourself.

So, as you all know, there's been some...

Nice of you to turn up! It's taken a lot of time and effort...

What was it this time?..to persuade everyone to our vision.

We'll be going public on Friday.

So, Sam, are we anywhere with that slogan?

Yeah.

Yeah, getting there.

You've been getting there for a couple of weeks now.

Well, I've got one or two good candidates.

Great. Let's hear them.

I'd rather get them...

locked.

Go on, read them out.

It would be nice to hear them.

OK, um...

Er...

Well...one them I've got is, er...

"Bracknell's dead.

"Long live Bracknell."

I've got a few others here. Um...

Br...

"Bracknell's back on track...

"y'all."

"If you like James Cracknell, you'll love Bracknell"?

Can I see you when you've got ten minutes?

Yeah.

Ooh.

I thought you were coming in early.

Yeah, Noel, I was.

Yeah. This is exactly why you shouldn't be on this project.

I told them. I said, "Don't use Sam. He will let you down."

They were like, "No, we want to give him a chance to prove himself." "Oh, OK." What's he proved,

apart from that he's consistently late, without good reason? I witnessed a car crash. OK?

Is that a good enough reason?

Save it for Lizzie, mate. Don't involve me in your web of lies.

Don't move. Do not move a muscle.

Morning, Phil. You moved.

You're popular.

She got three. What you doing tonight?

Oh, I'm busy.

Oh, me, too. So another time maybe, yeah?

Yeah. What about Friday? You around Friday night?

Busy. Oh, me, too. Hey, listen, we'll keep trying.

We'll get there eventually, eh?

Er, see you in a bit.

You've got to explode it. If you don't explode it, it doesn't mean anything.

Shrapnel! See you later.

Guys?

Guys...

Guys? I don't know if anyone's...

I put this up a couple of weeks ago now.

Just about if anyone wants to go go-karting this Saturday. Anyone?

I've sent you an e-mail. Alan can't make it, I know that.

I've got an appointment. I don't want to say any more than that.

Yeah, well, that's fine, but anyone else?

Anyone? Clyde? Clyde?

Clyde?

Clive.

What? Anyone else?

No-one wants to go go-karting. OK?

Same as no-one wanted to go on your stupid paintball trip.

Same as no-one ever wants to do curry night.

I'll come.

Yes, Sam.

Stick that one in.

I can't... I can't do that.

I'll do that later. I can remember that.

But now we've got one, it will snowball surely.

Anyone else? It's just I've booked it for the whole day

and it's going to cost Sam a fortune if it's just the two of us. So...

Well, look, it's up there. Still got a few days to...

It's not "curry night". It's "curry club".

- Your phone's ringing. - That's not my phone.

- It's coming from your drawer. - No, it isn't.

Well, it is.

It's stopped. I really need to...

Hi, this is a message for Sergeant Ince... It's Sam Pinkett here

from the accident this morning,

the car crash.

After you'd gone,

there was a... I found...um...

Sorry, this isn't really something I can leave in a message.

Can you call me back as soon as you get this? Thank you.

- Late night? - No.

- Really? - Why?

No, you just left 13 voice mails on my phone at three o'clock this morning.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Did you bring my house keys?

Oh, I haven't unpacked all the boxes yet. They'll be in there.

It's been three weeks. Why haven't you unpacked?

- Just thought, you know, might be temporary, so... - It isn't temporary.

The next couple of days are really important for me and I need...

- I miss you. - Don't. - I do.

You miss someone looking after you.

I miss you looking after me.

You miss someone making your decisions for you.

I miss you making my decisions for me.

Argh!

I can't do this.

Um, if I don't get that research pack on my desk today,

I'm the one who has to explain to Mr Reid tomorrow.

It's me that's going to look bad.

Please don't let me down.

I won't.

'You have received one new message.

'Message received today at 11:09am.

'You want to play games with us? You want to play games?

'This is what happens when we play games!

'You show some respect.

'If you're talking to the police, she is dead.

'There's a change of plan. New address.

'So if you want to know where we're holding your wife,

'you pick up the phone!

'To hear the message again, press...'

All right?

Oh, my God!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Dear God!

That's not helping.

They don't know who they're messing with.

They don't have a clue who they're messing with! They want to mess with us?

What are you talking about? They're not messing with us!

They're not even messing with me! I'm the wrong man.

They're trying to mess with the guy from the car crash.

Well, he's out of the game.

- This isn't a game. - So why have I got my game face on?

Because that's what you're looking at. My game face.

We need a plan of action, cos we sure as shit can't call the police.

Oh, they said they were going to kill her if you call the police.

- It was before that. - Well, what did you say?

Nothing. I just left a message to call me back.

Good. From now on we just ignore them.

This is ridiculous.

You're looking at this the wrong way. This is our moment.

We've been chosen.

I'm a town planning and noise guidance advisor for Berkshire County Council.

You're a 31-year-old mail distribution assistant who lives with his mum.

Exactly! Stuff like this never happens!

I don't want it to happen! I haven't slept all night.

I've got a load of work to do. Lizzie will kill me if I don't...

Oh, for God's sake.

It's actually nothing to do with me!

If this phone had rung three seconds later, I wouldn't even have heard it.

You know what? I should just...

No! No, no, no, no.

Stop! Stop, stop!

No, lock it up. Lock it up. Lock it up!

Lock it up!

Lock it up.

And you know what? You're right.