A Lesson in Love (En lektion i kärlek)

DIGITALLY RESTORED IN 2015

A LESSON IN LOVE

A Comedy for Grown-ups by...

This comedy might have been a tragedy,

but all turned out well, so it became a comedy.

Neither the author nor the actresses are the teachers of this lesson,

but rather life itself with its absurd twists and turns.

Ladies and gentlemen...

you can witness this lesson in love with an indulgent smile,

for the lesson is elementary,

and it's one you learned long ago...

isn't it?

You're a bastard.

You're spoiled, brutish, and cynical.

You call yourself a gynecologist? You've never understood a woman.

If I had the energy, I'd laugh at all this.

You're so terribly naive.

So you don't want to marry me? - No, thank you.

What a storm!

- The angels are crying. - The boy's feeling remorse.

Perhaps, my dear Susanne.

Sadness and remorse are Siamese twins.

- I can go on being your lover. - No, thank you.

At least stop thanking me!

So it's definitely over?

Yes. Thanks for what we had together.

You want me to start yelling?

I admit my retreat is deplorable, but I'm no passionate superman.

I'm just a tired and boring man with a headache and regrets.

Could it be any sadder? - Because you're getting old.

That's right.

I'm an itty-bitty...

teeny-tiny bit old.

Go back to your forgiving wife's forgiving embrace.

No doubt she's waiting to be plucked off the shelf and dusted off

like a trusty old pipe!

Please show Mrs. Verin out and the next patient in.

- Out. - In a moment.

Good-bye, David.

I do feel sorry for you.

Always looking at women from odd angles

eventually makes a man quite peculiar.

Where is my key, by the way?

You're sublime... you bore!

Next.

Next.

Doctor, I have a terrible problem

that keeps me awake at night.

You cheered up my husband on another occasion.

I have such confidence in you.

This rain is incredible!

I'm wondering if my husband and I should remarry.

After 10 years and two children together,

we divorced when I met a younger man

who gave me that special something, you know?

But he was very young and had to do his military duty,

and then my husband returned...

Excuse me.

A life-and-death emergency is calling me.

There are three patients waiting.

My life and my death!

But what should I do?

A piece of advice: The conjugal bed is love's demise.

You're terrible!

No, I'm not. Not at all.

Bye!

And here I thought the doctor was really...

Did you, now?

If I weren't a Christian woman, I'd say "damnation!"

Sam, don't you ever have trouble with women?

- Not since I killed my fiancée. - Not exactly what I meant.

Then your father, the old professor, operated on my head.

He did a bolo... - Lobotomy.

- Could be. - I'm sure it was.

I'm very grateful. Now I only run amok twice a year,

and I don't even eat or drink.

How practical!

It's the thunderstorm.

But we should be able to pick up something.

I'm going to nap. I'm tired.

And a little bit old.

A teeny-tiny bit old...

She first came to see me in the spring.

She seemed nervous and unsettled,

which made me nervous and unsettled too.

Your symptoms don't seem particularly alarming, Mrs. Verin...

but let's examine you anyway,

just to be safe.

Please undress behind the screen.

Do you find me attractive?

- How old are you? - Why do you ask?

For my records.

- I was born in '32. - Already married at 21?

Are you sorry to hear it?

Get undressed and stop chattering.

You have such beautiful hands.

- Kind of you to say. - And an adorable neck.

Is that so?

What's it like watching women undress all day?

It's no fun, I assure you.

I'm so afraid.

Will you be gentle?

Get undressed now. I have patients waiting.

I have a confession to make.

A confession?

- You won't get mad? - It depends.

- Then I don't dare. - Fine. I won't get mad.

There's nothing wrong with me. I just said there was.

I wanted to meet you. - Meet me?

I'm in love with you, Dr. Erneman!

I see. That's very kind of you.

My dear Mrs. Verin... I really don't know what to say.

I saw you every day last summer.

We were neighbors in the country, but you didn't notice me.

- I was working. - You certainly were...

hunched over your desk every day until 3:30.

Then you had tea with three buttered biscuits.

Then you went for a swim, regardless of the weather.

- You saw all that? - I loved you already.

Of course.

I fantasized about you.

I'm just a little girl.

- But you're married. - To a horrendous bore!

Please go now. I have neither the time nor the desire.

- Don't send me away. - I must, for several reasons.

- Do you love your wife? - Yes.

And it's none of your business. Now go.

You don't love her.

Mrs. Verin, you're very sweet.

One might even say attractive.

I'm touched by your attention. What man wouldn't be?

But I'm as big a bore as your husband,

in that I have certain principles regarding marital fidelity...

and so on...

and so forth.

Go on.

I love it when you scold me.

I also have an extremely attractive wife whom I've loved sincerely for...

let me see... 15... 16 years in October...

and I've never been unfaithful.

And the beautiful woman who moored her yacht at your dock?

That was a friend of my wife's.

Oh? Is that why you kissed her in the moonlight

after your wife went to bed? - Well...

- I cried all night! - No tears here, please!

Kiss me and I'll go.

I haven't the slightest desire to kiss you.

You're such a liar.

You have an overpowering desire to kiss me...

and that's not all.

This is completely preposterous, my dear young lady!

I protest most strongly!

You sound like a United Nations delegate!

- I'm fighting for my life! - Am I that dangerous?

If I decided to have an affair with you,

a terrible chain reaction of events would unfold

from a single moment of thoughtlessness.

No one needs to know.

I prefer my simple life

with its little vexations and petty joys.

I prefer my slippers and my amiably indifferent fireplace

to your perfumed body and its different kind of fire

that's very dangerous and can destroy

all that we call home, children, and decency...

and that leads absolutely nowhere.

Go now, Susanne.

Go and leave me in peace.

- You love me. - No, I don't love you.

But I yearn to hold you tight

and let your fire burn away my lethargy and boredom

and all the gray monotony that's gathered on my brain

and that I don't have the energy to remove.

Did that sound trite, stupid, silly, and ridiculous?

Don't say any more.

Just kiss me.

No, no, no!

It's my inalienable right to go on being a bore.

My attempts just now to the contrary were disastrous.

Just think of it as fun!

Of course I think it's fun!

I'm mad with desire. Who could claim otherwise?

I'm still waiting.

You've made me a glorious offer, and I hesitate.

Shouldn't I be ashamed? - Yes.

- My wife and I, for 15 years... - Sixteen in October.

She's unfaithful in her own way.

Fidelity only exists as long as one is faithful.

Infidelity is the invention of moralists and gossips.

If I'm to be unfaithful,

it must be without remorse or fear of consequences.

If it all goes to hell, you'll be the best traveling companion!

You men need reasons for everything,

even for jumping into bed.

You think I didn't see you last summer?

I saw you every day. You were everywhere.

Your scent was in my nostrils. I dreamed about you at night.

I reached out for you.

You were like summer itself.

He's waxing poetic!

Ridiculous, isn't it?