The Kaiser's Lackey (Der Untertan)

THE KAISER'S LACKEY

Diederich Hessling was a delicate child. He was frightened of everything.

He feared his father the most.

Drill-sergeant Father wielded his cane with an expression of duty and honor.

Diederich also feared his mother's scary stories.

The toad was an evil spirit which abducted bad children.

It sucked them down into a deep, dark pond.

He survived his father, the toad, God Almighty and the policeman.

The sweep who could drag you through a long, dark chimney.

The doctor who painted your throat until you nearly choked.

After all these horrors Diederich met one power

which eats children alive:

School.

Stand! Sit!

Stand! Sit!

Diederich Hessling! Wipe the board.

- Troschinsky did it. - Good boy.

What's 1 x 1? Hessling?

When was the Battle of Teutoburg Forest?

What is the Fifth Commandment? It's your turn, Hessling!

Thou shalt not kill.

How many glorious wars were won by the Hohenzollerns?

All of you.

The First Silesian War.

The Second Silesian War.

The Seven Years' War.

The Wars of Liberation from Napoleon which were waged from 1813 to 1814.

The Prusso-Danish War.

It was won in the year of 1864.

The Seven Weeks' War defeating the Austrian Empire in 1866.

Today we look back on our history with a feeling of gratitude.

We admire what has become of the splintered German people.

A people divided against itself in ongoing conflict.

We see a united people.

An invincible nation.

A magnificent empire.

Let us remember the well-said humble words

of our beloved Monarch.

The Kaiser whom we are proud to refer to as our Wilhelm the Great.

God hath wrought a true miracle.

Our most heartfelt desire is to praise and honor our dearly beloved Emperor.

As heir apparent he already demonstrated his courage

and military skills at the battles of Königgrätz and Wörth.

Let us pledge allegiance to this great man.

We have no fear for our Fatherland under his courageous leadership.

No people on the face of the earth

can boast such a brilliant Monarch as we can.

His statesmanlike foresight

will ensure Germany a prosperous future.

He is not only our commander-in-chief.

He is also summus episcopus.

The Defender of our Faith.

He is Patron of the Arts.

The Protector of the Sciences.

Surpassing all predecessors, Wilhelm II will lead our research

to the worldwide prestige that it has long deserved.

He earns our infinite gratitude.

Our heartfelt adoration.

To His Majesty!

Our beloved Emperor!

Diederich's parents sent him to Berlin to study.

He lived near the University and was often homesick.

A letter from your parents!

The letter contained admonitions, worries, questions and answers.

It also told him to visit the Göppels.

Mr. Göppel, who did business with Hessling Paper of Netzig.

Mrs. Göppel.

Two aunts, engrossed as usual in needlework.

Their lodger, a student named Mahlmann

and Diederich during his first visit.

One chair remains empty.

Thanks to people like Mr. Buck we can sit here as free men.

- Netzig's hero. - He's a friend of my father's.

- He was sentenced to death in 1848. - I know.

And today? What's the situation today?

- I don't know. - They want to tread on us again.

Right.

My daughter, Agnes. Hessling Junior.

Be seated.

How about our usual stroll?

- If Father allows... - Take Hessling too.

It's late.

- What are you studying, young man? - Chemistry.

- Physics. - Chemistry.

- Exactly. - Do you know Berlin?

Do you like Berlin?

Have you been to the theater or a concert?

No.

That doesn't interest me.

I have to go. I have an appointment.

With a girl, Don Juan?

That doesn't interest me. He's a college friend.

May I take my leave?

- Come next Sunday. - Show him out, Agnes.

- Such charming young people. - Yes, extremely charming.

Are you angry with me?

Mr. Hessling, really!

I got away too. The family gossip is a bore.

Do you like her? She's very pretty.

Available too, if I know women at all.

She steals glances at you.

- Her eye movement doesn't grab me. - I believe you. Let's go.

Got any money?

- Yes. - How much?

Okay.

I'll show you Berlin.

The trumpets of the Lord do sound When we go marching by.

Drums and fifes and bugles resound As Berliners echo our battle cry.

We're the aces, best of races. But if we plod, it's the firing squad.

We're the soldiers of the Kaiser. We uphold the Altar and Throne.

The world has no braver nor wiser. The nation's elite and God's own.

Eyes left, eyes right, stomach in!

The world has no braver nor wiser. The nation's elite and God's own.

The following Sunday Hessling made his way reluctantly

to the Göppels.

Young Mr. Hessling. Thank you. Do come in.

- I'm invited. - Yes, I know. Lunch is ready.

Good day to you all.

How lovely!

Hessling junior is here.

There he is.

Glad you could come.

Have a seat. Luncheon is served.

- Good day, Agnes. - Good day, Mr. Hessling.

Did you bring the lovely flowers?

Come here, Agnes.

- Can you stay longer this time? - Or do you have another appointment?

No, not this time.

You're so nice today.

- I always try to be nice. - Really?

Come over here.

Excuse me.

You are really making eyes at her.

Listen to me.

When my studies are over you can inherit her.

- Keep away from her until then. - You have no right to say that.

Just leave.

Say your goodbyes to everyone

and explain that you must go now.

You have 5 minutes to do so.

No way.

Diederich gave in to his rival.

The power which forced itself upon him had returned.

It frightened him as much as the toad in the fairy tale.

Diederich left the Göppel residence.

He also left Agnes. He gave her up completely.

Because he feared the lodger.

Back home he took it out on his toughest books.

He sized up a formidable coffee pot.

The scoundrel!

The scoundrel!

If he weren't so strong...

I heard loud voices. I thought you had company.

- Nobody's here. - Yes there is.

- No visitor! - You have one!

He's waiting in the hall. Come in, young man.

- Evening! - Hornung, what a surprise!

- Your sister gave me your address. - Pleasant to see you.

- You joined a student corps? - Sure, the Neo-Teutons. They're tops.

Your family sends their regards. Your old man's not too well.

- What's wrong with him? - His Franco-Prussian War wound.

- Is it bad? - I'm not a doctor.

- Won't you sit down? - No, I came to take you out.

- Where? - To our drinking hole.

- You need better company. - I have no time for a corps.

Forget your studies! This is more important.

- Just as a visitor. - They're expecting you.

- Don't fail me. - I'll just look on.

Diederich became a drinksman.

Silence, brothers. I order a rousing Salamander toast.

We drain our glasses to our own Dr. Nieburger.

Fellow Neo-Teutons. Thank you for your salute.

I'm obliged to reciprocate. To you all.

- To mutual respect! - I second that.

- May I join you? - Good health.

More power to you and yours.

To rootin' shootin' Teutons!

Each fellow drank to the health of his companions.

Drinking, speaking, standing and sitting followed a ritual.

It gave him a feeling of harmony.

After Hessling had been initiated into the art of dueling

he had to take the next obligation upon himself to honor his membership.

That man.

- Excuse me? - What is it?

- You were staring at us. - Staring at whom?

We sat opposite you.

You are mistaken, Sir.

I was looking into my cup but not at you.

Satisfied?

- You stared at us. - I'm sorry, but you're really mistaken.

My fellow saw it, also.

If you're looking for a scar.

I suggest you go to a barber's.

- He's not getting anywhere. - Who?

The Neo-Teuton.

He refused. Two brandies.

- Sir? - Yes?

You insulted my friend.

I don't even know him.

That's irrelevant. You insulted our corps.