The Queens

- Here's our fourth runner-up,

Miss Alfonso from Chicago.

Let's hear it for her, ladies and gentlemen.

Our third runner-up in the 1967 Nationals,

from Manhattan, Miss Crystal, ladies and gentlemen.

Let's hear it for the third runner-up of the 1967 Nationals.

- Well, I think the more compelling

movie to watch is not when, okay,

the end of the pageant comes, the winner is announced,

and everyone shakes hands and oh, good job, good job to you.

- But here is the only winner

in the 1967 Nationals,

that queen which will reign over America.

Harlow, ladies and gentlemen, queen of the 1967 Nationals.

- The more compelling movie to watch

is the bitch who thought she should have won doesn't win

and gets mad and rips the fucking wig off the other girl

and storms off stage and throws a fit.

Like Crystal LaBeija in "The Queen."

It was a good film.

She looked bad.

Shit, she looked bad!

And no way or what you say could do about it.

Look at her makeup, it's terrible.

Take a picture of me next to Harlow

and tell me who's more beautiful.

Oh, get a picture with me and Harlow

and see which is more beautiful, darling.

Now darling, I don't mean to take this out on you.

You're a very lovely girl, you deserve everything lovely--

But she does not deserve-- But she does not

look beautiful tonight!

But she wasn't looking beautiful tonight.

She doesn't equal me, look at her makeup.

It's terrible!

- They were reenacting

pageant for a documentary.

No, we were reenacting--

"The Queen."

Andy Warhol's "The Queen."

- Phone that one, too.

And her explanation for why she wanted the money.

To put it in the bank.

It's all for publicity, darling, and that's why

none of the true beauties-- That's bad publicity!

None of the true beauties came,

because they knew they wouldn't win, darling.

Monique told me not to come,

that's why Monique is not here in dress,

because she is, Monique, darling.

- She's a friend of ours.

Monique was not here as a friend of yours.

She is a friend of mine.

Oh, and I see you're running your camera, dear.

Oh, you're not gonna use my name, no darling.

You're not--

I'll sue the fool.

That's fucking real.

- Well, not for equal rights, just for extra.

I want both bathrooms.

Who's happy?

Art and camera?

Love it. I want a male bathroom

and a female bathroom so I can rape your children.

Take two.

Season.

I'm Sharon Needles and people may know me

as the winner of season four of "RuPaul's Drag Race,"

or just America's biggest handful.

- All right, it's rolling.

All right.

- Jinkx Monsoon, take one, marker.

We're rolling.

Rolling, please.

So tell me your.

No.

- Tell me your name and how you are known,

what people know you for.

My name is Jinkx Monsoon

and I'm most well-known for winning

season five of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

- Man, I heard bestiality jokes on there.

- Right, they talk about like, fucking anuses

and like, I don't know, fucking gay sex, I don't.

- Okay, last question because I'm sure.

We should tuck

a little piece of hair back in.

One piece of my hair is out of place?

Burn all of the footage.

I can't imagine!

This is so funny to me because it's like,

where is the line that it becomes like.

Are you actually sticking to those?

- All of your managers

want me to send you down, but okay.

Where is the line that my ridiculous nest of hair,

one part of it becomes, oh, that's too much,

we have to stop.

It's like, I just fucking put frizzed-out,

ridiculous hair on the top of smooth hair.

Where is the line that it's like,

that's too much, it's out of place.

We found the line.

It's that one little stick-out.

- Okay, before I send you down.

Further request.

Am I looking at you or the camera?

Me.

Okay, my name's Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

and I'm the queen of Earth.

So audacious.

No, I've been saying that like, no.

People know me, I'm a drag queen, I was on TV once.

Did you--

[latex squeaking drowns out speaker]

Hmm?

- Standard shot of the documentary,

eyes on .

Oh, no shit.

I'm sorry if I was disrespectful to you in any way before.

That kind of like, constantly irreverent thing does get old.

Like, if you're just kind of a dickhead

all the time, you know?

No, no, I mean.

- That's fine, we're working.

[Katya rustling drowns out crew member speaking]

There we go.

I think I got it.

Oh, it's a different color, fuck.

[Woman With Floral Headband] Can you tell me,

is it totally uncomfortable if your knees are right on here?

You want me to kneel?

No.

Just put your legs back over.

Okay, oh, I see.

The image was too seductive.

They're not even gonna listen to what I'm saying.

Barbara, we're looking good.

We're good to go.

Get the horse dart out and just shoot her in the neck.

Is this a romance book jacket photograph?

I'm trashy but thoughtful, mm.

What about this?

Yeah, I wonder where my wheelchair went.

This'll do.

I don't know, I've never done drag though,

'cause I'm a woman, biologically, from birth.

Came out a woman and still that.

Sound like a man.

So is that--

What would you do if I pulled down my pants

and had a beautifully-manicured vagina?

Thank you guys so much, let's have an amazing show.

Congratulations, everyone,

this is the largest show that you guys have ever done.

Oh. Woo-hoo!

No pressure, no pressure!

This is the largest show you will ever do.

I just wanna thank everybody, first and foremost.

This is the largest show we have ever done.

It is.

And it warms my very black heart that it's right here

in my home away from home, London town!

Please welcome to the stage

the one and only, Miss Jinkx Monsoon!

When I was a kid I was very self-conscious

about how big my lips were.

My mom always said, "One day you're gonna be

"really happy that you have very big lips,

"and you're gonna make some girl very happy, too."

And that girl was me.

I don't think I ever thought that it was possible

to be a world-famous drag queen

at this level when I started it.

Now there's many, many famous drag queens

creating a lot of really great artwork

and a lot of them are my very good friends.