Under the Cherry Moon

Once upon a time in France,

there lived a bad boy named Christopher Tracy.

Only one thing mattered to Christopher. Money.

The women he knew came in all sizes, shapes, and colors,

and they were all rich. Very rich.

Private concertos, kind words, and fun is what he had to offer them.

Yes, Christopher lived for all women, but he died for one.

Somewhere along the way, he learned the true meaning of love.

- (TOASTING IN FRENCH) - (PEOPLE RESPOND)

- The more you drink, the better I sound. - Psst!

Monsieur.

With the compliments of the lady in white.

(PRINCE'S "CHRISTOPHER TRACY'S PARADE" PLAYING)

When are y'all going to get a job?

Here. I got a job. Why don't you all get a job?

It's dishonest work, but it's a living.

- Undecided? - Oui.

- Un, un, un. - Okay.

- What's up? - Bonjour, Christopher.

Monsieur.

Mirror, mirror, 17-fold...

Who's the sexiest dressed in gold?

You must be talking about me, cousin.

Smile, Katy, you're naked.

I'll smile when you pay me the two months' rent you owe me. Hmm?

Okay, you two, don't try anything funny. Not this time, Christopher.

I want the money or I'll throw you both out onto the street.

Please, madam, look at these poor, innocent faces.

These mean streets are no place for a couple of fine, decent...

Hoodlums like us.

Please, Katy, search in your heart for some kindness.

Why don't you try searching in your wallet for some money?

That's right, cousin. Give her that Bela Lugosi look.

Throw me onto the street, hmm?

Yeah, there.

Perhaps madame would like to conduct a search.

Hmm.

I wonder where that came from.

Fascist.

How much is lady in white worth?

$3 million. Got it in her divorce settlement.

I'll settle for that. We going to marry her?

Ain't it about time we go for the big macaroni?

Mmm, I like her, but I'm looking for a bigger brand of macaroni.

Take a look at this and see if it whets your appetite.

Mary Sharon.

Her father owns half the ships on the Mediterranean.

He's got to be worth a billion, easy.

He kicked a billion asses to get it, too.

And that says what?

That says she gets a $50 million trust fund when she turns 21.

- Which is today. - No.

- Let's go. - You going to marry her?

Mmm. For $50 million I would seriously consider it.

- But guess what. I take 30% commission. - (PHONE RINGING)

Yes?

Mary Sharon. I wonder what tune she'd dance to.

Just one moment. I'll see.

- Mrs. Wellington. - The lady in white.

Mrs. Wellington, he'll be right with you.

By the way, my name is Tricky.

Tricky, put the phone down.

I never dance before midnight.

But if you insist...

What? Right now?

I mean, here on the phone?

All right. As you wish. Hold on.

- Uh-oh. Here we go. - (STEPS INTO BATHTUB)

I am nothing without your touch, my love

I am nothing without your kiss

To spend each night in your arms, my flower

Is this man's idea of bliss

To not hear your voice each day

Is to die seven times by God's wrath

If I was anything other than human

I'd want to be the water in your bath

Till then, my love, ciao.

Who's your agent, man?

Can you believe Isaac Sharon threw a party long-distance for his daughter?

And didn't even bother to come.

Quel scandale.

He's probably too busy bribing another government official.

Johnny, you can be so catty sometimes.

And I wasn't even trying.

- Shall we follow the animals? - Yes.

I need an old man with money.

Who needs money when you've got youth?

Muriel, where is your daughter?

Oh, she'll be down in a second, hopefully.

Atta girl, Mary. Go, Mary, go.

How do you like my birthday suit?

I designed it myself.

Mary!

- (GASPING) - Madame.

Mrs. Cartwright.

(CHANTING) Mary! Mary!

Hello.

How lovely to see you. (GASPS)

I'm so sorry.

All right. Let's get this party rocking!

- You were incredible! Great! - Amazing!

Thank you.

I'll be back for an encore just as soon as I've changed my costume.

See that guy who just came in? Keep an eye on him.

What did she say?

She said...

- (GUESTS EXCLAIM) - (APPLAUDING)

(GUESTS SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" IN FRENCH)

Looks like it's diamond-hunting season on the Riviera.

He's already checked out every woman here twice.

What about the other one? They're a couple of real pros.

Ah. We'll see about that.

What is she doing?

- Happy birthday, Mary. - Thank you, Mrs. Wellington.

Happy birthday, Mary.

Mary, honey, there you are. I thought you'd never show up.

I was waiting for the guards to shoot all the party crashers

before I came down.

It's nice to see you. You look very good.

Thank you.

- What do they call you? - Tricky.

- Fits you like a glove. - Just like your wonderful dress.

Good evening.

Nice toss.

And nice party.

Yes. Pity you weren't invited.

- I was in the neighborhood, and, uh... - And you got lost.

And I thought this would be fun.

Thanks for the present. Awfully sweet of you.

Aw, tarot cards. Want me to read your fortune?

I bet you'd like to do a lot more than read it, buddy.

The name's Christopher, buddy.

I always thought these things were baloney.

Just tell people what they want to hear and they're happy.

Would you like to meet my mother?

Mommy, dear, Mrs. Wellington,

I'd like you to meet my new friend, Christopher, um...

- Madam. - Christopher.

He's dying to tell you all about yourselves

with these beautiful tarot cards you gave me, Mrs. Wellington.

Uh, do you do this professionally, Christopher?

Madam, I do nothing professionally. I only do things for fun.

Children, please. - (CHILDREN LAUGHING)

Conga line, baby. Let's go.

Jonathan's on the phone for you.

He says it's totally boring in New York.

No new clubs, no openings, no parties.

He could've come to mine. I don't want to talk to him.

- Oh, come on, Mary. - Don't be a dork.

Think about your trust fund. Come on, darling.

Hello, Jonathan.

- (TURNS ON LOUDSPEAKER) - (SINGING CONTINUES)