The Big Bang Theory

English Subtitles. The Big Bang Theory S09E01 The Matrimonial Momentum

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...

Well, there was this girl.

What did you do?

Nothing.

Really, it was just kissing.

All right.

So, we're still getting married?

Yes.

Because we love each other.

Yes.

And it's the happiest day of our life.

Don't push it.

I need some time to take a step back

and reevaluate our situation.

Oh.

Bye, Sheldon.

Well, Gollum...

...you're an expert on rings.

What do I do with this one?

So, what package are you thinking?

Mm, this one comes with music and flowers.

Oh, they even stream the whole thing live on the Internet.

Why would we want that?

'Cause there's a lot of gorgeous blondes out there

who don't believe they can land a short, nearsighted scientist.

Let's give them hope.

Whatever. Put us on the Internet.

I've always wanted a wedding with a comment section.

I-If you're not into this, we can do it another time.

No. No, I want to.

Look, we've put this off long enough.

Let's do it. Aw.

That's exactly what you said the first time we slept together.

Oh, excuse me.

Sheldon.

Hey.

Leonard, have you gotten married yet?

No. Why?

Good. Don't do it! Why not?

Some important new information has come to light.

Women are the worst.

I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong.

No piece of paper ever cut me this deep.

What happened now?

Amy has ended our relationship.

Oh, no. Seriously?

What's going on?

Amy broke up with Sheldon.

She did?

Is Penny crying?

No.

No, of course not.

They thrive on our suffering.

Buddy, I-I'm so sorry.

Is there anything I can do?

Yes. If I ever talk about

going out with a girl again, roll your eyes at me

like I do to you when you say dumb things.

Sheldon, uh, o-okay, just because

you're going through this with Amy

doesn't mean that all women are bad.

Whatever.

Hey, I just heard

about you and Sheldon. Are you okay?

Not really.

Can you come over?

Uh, actually I'm in Vegas.

Leonard and I are about to get married.

Hold on.

You're getting married and you didn't invite me?

Well, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing.

Wow.

Hope I can catch the bouquet from here.

Amy, don't be like that.

Why did I just hear Amy's name?

Penny's on the phone with her.

Did she say anything about me?

Never mind. I don't care.

Well, if you care, you can find out and tell me.

Just don't be shocked when you find out that I don't care.

Okay, will you relax?

You're not missing anything special.

Hey.

She's upset.

Look, it's gonna be a great wedding.

Look at you in your little suit.

Amy's upset? Is it about me?

No, I think it's because we're eloping.

Your marriage is causing her pain?

Yeah, great, I take it back.

Go ahead and do it. Yay for love!

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man

Hello. Oh!

What are you doing here?

When last we spoke, you said you needed time.

Well, it's only been 11 hours.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy was nearly 11 hours.

I made you watch that, you said it was an eternity.

Sheldon, when I'm ready to talk, I'll let you know.

Very well.

You seem to be headed somewhere.

May I walk with you?

Sure.

Boy, I'm glad we're going out again.

We're not back together.

Why?

Is there someone else?

Just couldn't wait for that first notch

on your bedpost, could you?

If you must know,

I'm going to Howard and Bernadette's

to watch the wedding.

And who's this guy you're taking?

There's no guy!

Oh, you're going to a wedding alone?

That's sad.

I'm not gonna be alone.

I'll be with my friends.

Your friends?

Well, I think you mean my friends.

And why wasn't I invited to this?

Maybe because the two of us being there

would make them feel awkward.

We make everyone feel awkward.

That's our thing!

They're running a little behind.

Should be pretty soon. Okay.

Hey, if you're hungry, there's a breakfast buffet

at the strip club next door.

Thanks, but I don't like glitter on my scrambled eggs.

I don't think the strippers prepare the meal, but okay.

Look, it-it's not how I pictured it either,

but I'm still glad we're doing it.

Me, too. You sure?

Yes. And you promise

you're okay with everything from the car?

Oh, my God, would you stop bringing it up?

You're right. I'm sorry.

We have the rest of our lives

to dredge stuff up from the past and fight about it.

So what do you think?

Should we run next door and grab a bite?

What if they call our names?

Oh, don't worry. They gave me this vibrating coaster.

Oh, and the fairy tale continues.

Thank you for doing this.

Our pleasure.

You feeling okay?

We were together for so long,

I honestly don't know what I'm feeling.

Well, that's understandable.

You forgot. It's called "happy."

Howard.

I'm not saying anything bad.

Just that she was in love with her captor

and somehow managed to escape from his dark and crazy dungeon.

I know what you're going through.

My-my last breakup was pretty tough.

Oh. What was her name?

Hey, it's a true story.

I don't need the third degree.

For God's sake, Sheldon, what are you doing?

I didn't want to come in.

I was told it would make everyone feel uncomfortable.

So I'll just stay out here

and pretend that I don't have to go to the bathroom.

Howard, do something.

I'm on it.

Sheldon, you being here might not be making things better.

I see.

And is that why everybody was invited but me?

They didn't invite everybody but you.

Bernadette invited me,

and Stuart lives here.

Who wants hot cinnamon rolls?

So, when you hear the music, that's your cue.

Any questions?

Oh, the package that we paid for

said the aisle was supposed to be strewn with rose petals.

Where are the rose petals?!

We're out! You know what?

It's fine.

We can use the potpourri from the bathroom!

Really, we're good.

Yup, just want to get married.

Yeah. Great.

I'll see you two up there.

This is it. I know.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Was that a yes or no on the potpourri?!

No, thank you! We're good!

Raj, you're probably wondering

why Amy and I aren't showing any affection to one another.

Didn't even crack the top ten.

Well, you should know

that she recently broke up with me.

I said I needed time to think.

I'm sure you guys will figure something out.