Casual

Previously on "Casual"...

- I'm here. Are you okay?

What?

- How dare you text me from her phone.

Should I just watch while you let your crazy ex-girlfriend

set up shop in your living room?

- You're supposed to help me get her out.

- I can't help you. Not anymore.

I like getting off too,

but I like the other part more.

You know, when you get someone and they get you.

You just got sub-grammed.

Have you talked to her since the hospital?

What's there to talk about?

- I think I need to step back from this.

I'm going to discontinue our sessions.

I'm out the next couple weeks,

but I'll give you a call when I get back.

You're so obvious

and you're so afraid of anything real

that you'd rather blow yourself up

than let anyone else in.

Oh, and you have creepy fucking eyebrows.

- So we drop our clubs an... and rush over,

uh, the pilot looks all right,

but, uh, the plane's leaking fuel,

so we undo his straps, pull him out.

He's dazed, obviously, but, um, he's talking,

and his voice,

I recognize it.

Finally, I realize...

it's Harrison Ford.

Cheers, mate.

- Makes me think of "Ferris Bueller."

I've, uh... I've never seen it.

- You've never seen "Ferris Bueller"?

Nope.

- Are you Amish? - British.

- I always get those two confused.

You know, um, Seurat was,

um, 26 when he painted this. - So young.

- I was 31 when I sold a jingle for an energy drink commercial.

Oh, look at you.

Mm.

I'm Leon.

Oh, um, Leona.

Really?

I'm... I'm Claire.

I just... I thought that would be funny.

Oh, excuse me.

Uh, you need to take that?

No.

- Oh, thank God. What do you see?

Huh? Anything creepy?

Above the eyes, maybe?

Come on, be honest.

Do you know what the most recognizable part

of the human face is?

It's the brows, Leon.

The brows.

Look at these things.

I'm like the Joker.

And not a cool Joker either.

Like, old school, Cesar Romero Joker.

Do you want a cup of coffee, by the way?

You know how much money people spent on eyebrows last year?

$122 million. There's a whole industry

built around it.

Extensions, tattoos, gels,

there's even something called a brow bar.

Come for a drink, stay for a wax.

Oh, morning, Val. Look who's here.

You guys, uh, want some breakfast?

I could whip us up some waffles.

- Hi, Leon. Whip you up some pancakes?

Hi.

Okay, seriously, man.

Scale of one to ten, how bad are they?

Seven, eight, right?

Fuck.

Eight?

You need professional help.

Did she say anything to you?

Nope.

Just up and gone.

- Yeah, maybe it was too intense for her.

Yeah.

This one.

Mm, gosh,

I wish it could be somewhere cool.

- Like where? - Like Staples Center.

- Buried in a monument to office supplies.

Nice.

And this is where your parents want you?

- Yeah, I don't know, it's easier this way.

Easier than what?

Dealing with my mom.

Yesterday I caught her crying

'cause she realized that my suit's too small.

Yeah. I mean, what you gonna do?

Take me shopping for a new funeral suit?

- Do you even want to be buried in a suit?

I don't know. I always figured that

funerals are black-tie.

- It's your party. You should have what you want.

Wouldn't mind a dope casket.

Hi there.

See that car crash on Wilshire?

Gruesome.

Think I saw a severed hand in the median,

but light turned green, so guess we'll never know.

Excuse me,

this is my usual time.

- Yeah. - So normally there's no one

in here but me. Just...

Right, totally.

I really appreciate your flexibility.

No, you don't understand.

This is my slot every week at this time.

Jennifer promised me that when I arrived...

I would be alone.

- Hang on just a second. Hi.

- Steven, why don't you head on in.

- You promised me. - I know.

I'll be right there.

What?

Nothing, just wanted to talk.

You can talk to "Rain Man" first.

I'm... I'm totally fine with that.

Did we stop for pastries?

Like you're one to talk.

- No, you don't just take a ticket

and wait to be called on. This is my office.

This isn't a deli.

I was here last week.

- As an acquaintance. Not as my patient.

Why can't I be your patient?

- Because I have professional boundaries.

Please?

Please,

I'm having a bit of a moment here.

My friend Barry,

very good.

Tell him I referred you.

Call him first.

- Hmm. - Yeah.

Kinda generic for a house of death.

- Yeah, it's like a suite at the DoubleTree.

- A bit drab, yes, but inoffensive.

Keeps the emphasis on the service.

- Hmm. - Can I help you?

- We'd like to procure one high-quality casket

for my dying friend here.

- Have you considered any of the other detail involved in this?

- You mean like what I'm gonna wear?

Who will officiate,

uh, pallbearers, flowers, music.

Oh, music, that's important.

- Oh, what about the... That Wiz Khalifa song

from "Fast and Furious"? - No.

- You don't like that song? - I think you can do better.

We're still working on music.

- Are you sure your parents don't want

to be involved in this?

Uh, let's stick with caskets.

- Well, there are some options. Obviously, there's, uh...

There's price, uh, material, color...

- Got any I can test-ride? - Test-ride?

- Yeah, you know, like, lie down in?

- He's gonna be in there a long time.

Gotta make sure it's a good fit.

- We don't maintain the caskets here.

We order them from a warehouse.

Where's the warehouse?

You know, there's this hot new setting.

It's called "Do not disturb."

It makes it so that your phone doesn't buzz every ten seconds.

Also, it's great for battery life.

- I will look into it. - Oh, do that.

Mae-Yi's at the doctor.

- Drew, I said we could reschedule.

- No, it's fine. It's fertility stuff.

Ugh.

Sorry.

- How's operation baby-quest, hmm?

Did you find everything your previous life was missing?

It's not so easy.

- Sex with a woman half your age rarely is.

I feel like a factory worker.

Oh, my God.

Drew, answer your phone.

Hey.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

So do it then.

I said "do it." What do you want me to say?

Okay.