Shameless

Now nobody is saying

that Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden,

but it's a good home to us.

To me, Frank Gallagher, and my kids, who I'm proud of.

Because every single one of them reminds me a little of me.

Seems they can all think for themselves, which

they've got me to thank for. - Quick, leg it.

Lip, who's a little bit

of a gobshite, which is why nobody

calls him Philip anymore.

Ian, a lot like his mum, which is handy for the others,

because he's disappeared into thin air.

And Carl.

We dare not let him grow his fair for two reasons.

One, it makes it stand on end and makes him look like Toyah.

Two, nits love him.

Debbie, sent by God, total angel.

You have to check your change but she'll go miles out

of her way to do you a favor.

Plus, they've got Liam, who's going to be a star someday.

Sheila, me bird.

Couldn't be happier.

One plate short of a full set.

And fantastic neighbors, Kev and Veronica.

Lend you anything.

Well, almost anything.

Carol and Marty, the lodgers from hell.

Last of the lonely hearts and a psychologist's wet dream.

Still, nobody's perfect.

But all of them, to a man, know first

and foremost, one of the most vital necessities in life

is to know how to throw a party!

Scatter.

come they told me, rum pah pum pum.

Now, they say a lie can travel halfway

around the world while the truth is still putting his boots on.

Which is right, because lies are our currency.

Bar's closed for half an hour.

It's our new year and all, you know?

There's white lies and there's black lies.

Pah rum pa pum pum.

And then there's the totally fucking psychedelic ones.

You know, the ones that knock you sideways because you

never saw them coming.

Dicko!

All right, mate.

Attention, everyone, attention.

Now synchronize your watches.

Hey, hey!

The fruit of my eye.

All four of them.

Five, four--

I love you like the shepherd loves his flock.

Two, one.

Shall all acquaintance be forgot for auld lang syne.

Hey.

New Year's resolution.

Smoke more fags.

20 a day from now on.

And I'm going to do more crappy stripagram work

and cut out the exercise.

Might as well set realistic ones, right?

Eh, actually.

I've got one for you.

Literature classes.

You're always going on about how you can't read.

But school and homework?

I don't think so, V.

Unless you want to be pulling pints

for the rest of your life, Kev, you

have got to put the effort in.

Jesus.

What is it?

It's your mum.

Have you eaten peanuts?

Only a handful to soak up the gin.

I'm allergic.

You could have mentioned it!

Help, somebody!

He's dying.

Anapapleptic whatsit.

His throat's swelling up.

Get some water, Kev.

Two minutes into new year and this happens.

It's a sign.

Should never get involved with married men.

It's a golden rule. Please, God.

Don't make this happen to me.

I know I've strayed in recent years,

but I swear, let him live and I'll come back to you, Lord.

If you'll just hear me this one special time.

Thank you.

He did it.

He heard.

Care to help the less fortunate?

There's nothing more upsetting than the sight of a sick child.

Just doing our rounds.

Surprised how generous people can be when they're

three sheets to the wind.

Bless you.

Deborah, it's probably not the time,

but you don't happen to know if your parents received

the letters from school about your Liam?

I'm not sure.

Is it serious?

Well it is rather, I'm afraid.

The head's talking exclusion.

Liam's behavior last term became increasingly disruptive.

The nativity play was the final straw.

Did God send you?

No.

God doesn't exist.

He's a made up person, and the Bible is all pretend stories

to make people be good.

God's not real?

We're a Catholic foundation for the education

of Catholic children.

Yeah, but he's only five.

Sinners start very young, Debbie.

Miss Murdoch and myself will be doing

a home visit, 10:00 Monday.

Now if You could just remind your parents,

I'd be very greatful.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Cops! Cops.

It's a raid. Hide your gear.

It's a raid.

They've got sniffers.

Ian.

Not tonight.

You can't tonight.

Says who?

Says decency.

We've reason to believe that Class A are being sold

and consumed on the premises.

Well, of course they are.

It's New Year's Eve.

In.

Just checking we had enough ice.

You can arrest me any day.

Get off.

Hey, hey.

Jesus.

Who trained him to do that?

You twisted, fucking--

Got one here, sarge.

Leave him alone.

I don't know when.

I don't know when, sunshine, but I know.

Where'd you get the gear, Frank?

Bashed in bus stop.

Burnage end of Belshaw Lane.

But, I did not do her over.

She was already dead when I nabbed the bag.

Hence-- hence, did I take my purse?

I did not take the purse.

I left the purse where it was, out of respect

for the fact she was already stiff as a minger's ring.

Is that because there was nothing in it?

Yeah.

And she stank of piss.

So that's theft, possession, debatable whether you

have intent to supply.

Supply?

Come off.

To who?

It's not looking good for you, Frank.

It's not looking good at all.

Unless.

Where bon-bons play.

Fuck off!

Oh, he's going.

He's going.

Hiya, Debbie.

Happy new year. - Debatable.

Is my dad in?

He hasn't been to bed yet.

Letters from school.

Liam's in big trouble.

During doing a home visit Monday,

and they want to see one of his parents.

And?

And you're one of his parents.

Dad?

This is serious.

If he gets expelled, we'll have social workers

sniffing all over us.

All right.

What do you want me to do?

Promise you'll be at hours, Monday, 9:30 sharp.

I promise.

Promise me you won't forget.

Cross my heart and hope to--

We've run out of Sprite, so I've done you a vodka.

It's your serotonin, Winter Blues.

Everyone gets a bit down in January.

Or it could be the fact that I'm