Mr. Pickles

Oh, yeah. What?

Huh.

Idiot.

- I'm Ron Bolton's guy. - Your target's playing bingo

tomorrow night. I'm gonna miss grammy, but I

can't wait to get my inheritance!

First thing I'm gonna do is get my butthole bleached.

Mind if I shoot her in the face?

Sure.

- Oh, my butthole! - Mr. Pickles!

S01E07 Grandpa's Night Out

Huh?

What happened last night?

Somebody's excited

- this morning. - Wow!

- I wish I had muscles like him. - Well, this wrestling

is just fakery.

Last night, Mr. Pickles...

Dad, please. Not another "evil Mr. Pickles" story!

Actually, me and Mr. Pickles had a good time last night.

I woke up, and he was pouring whiskey in my mouth.

Hey! What are you... well! That's pretty good.

He convinced me to head to the tavern.

We had a real hoot.

We stayed till they kicked us out.

But Mr. Pickles wanted more drinks.

Last thing I remember is, uh,

- seeing your friend Linda. - Hi, grandpa.

I guess that's all I remember.

Maybe Mr. Pickles doesn't want to torment me anymore.

- Morning, baby! - Huh?

You was an animal last night!

Linda? Is that my mother's wedding ring?

Huh?

- We's married. - What?!

- We got married?! - Yay! New grandma!

Now, come upstairs!

I got to get out of this.

Marriage is a serious commitment that you need to honor.

Wha... you!

Welp, congratulations.

- Bye, dear. - Huh?

- Ohhhhhh! - I'm Ron Bolton, and I can

- take care all your legal needs. - Great! What do I do?

If your wife falls for one of my undercover seducers, then you

claim infidelity and get your divorce.

- Perfect! - But now act like everything's wonderful.

Got it?

And remember... we do validate for parking.

Parking validation covers 15 minutes or less.

Huh?

Linda, don't...

We movin' in. Meet your new daughter...

Linda Jr. aah!

Wonderful.

- Hi! - Thank you for your gracious hospitality.

Y'all got everything too spread out. If you pile it in the corner,

then you can make room for a floor fire or a squirrel pit.

Uh, this is still my house.

Don't you back-talk me!

You don't want me taking my shoe off.

That's a flipper, not a shoe!

Uh, everything's wonderful.

This marriage is a disaster!

Marriage is a serious commitment that you need to honor!

Oh.

Aah! Aah!

Thanks for showing me around, Tommy.

One, two! Take this.

Take that! Take this! Huh?

Nice costumes! Can we wrestle with you?

You can't wrestle with those legs.

Ohh!

Yeah, you crippled loser!

Oh, I hate my leg braces.

Nobody's perfect. I have a thumb growing out of my bellybutton.

Wow!

That doesn't stop me from being happy.

You just have to be yourself.

- Please don't touch it. - Ron Bolton

- pool cleaning. - She's upstairs.

Huh?

Got to mark my territory! Now I know where to smell it on

Huh? Oh, my goodness!

Gotcha! Huh?

Ooh! We 'bout to get real freaky, daddy!

Huh? Where am I?

Aah!

Did you seduce her yet?

This is Ron Bolton.

Who am I talking to?

Hello?

Attention, everyone! Now we're pushing crusher dolls,

and you better sell. Or you'll be crushed by the...

Crusher! Ahhh!

- Rawr! - Sorry, ma'am.

Yes...

You say you want to buy 100 crusher dolls?

We'll get those right over to you! Crushed!

- Oh, wow. - Come on.

- The phone wasn't even on... - Crusher!

I'm inviting you all to my match tonight.

Ahhh!

- Crusher! - What do you mean, he disappeared?

I can't hold her off much longer.

Just do what I say, and

you'll be divorced faster than you can say...

Anything I say can't be held against me in a court of law.

Now, here's the plan.

I have something to show you. Gloria, here, has hands but no arms.

But that doesn't stop me from

- making the best thongs in town. - But where'd her arms go?

This is Barry.

- He's got webbed feet. - But that doesn't stop me from

- building with metal. - Uh-huh.

- But where'd that lady's arms go? - This is Dan.

- Hi. - He's normal.

But that doesn't stop my sister from being the best