Haseena Maan Jaayegi (हसीना मान जाएगी)

Stop the car.

Here you are, sir. - You fool!

Don't you know to apply brakes? - As you sow, so you reap.

You screamed, and I panicked. I applied it softly but it jammed.

It reminds me of a couplet.

"Hear me, this is something worth listening"

"This is a lover's tale, It goes the way you say it"

Cut the crap! - Sure.

Get down.

Here I am, sir. - Hold it.

Give it. - Distribute it among the poor.

Shall I ask you something, sir? - What is it?

You see, nobody is as rich as you and nobody as poor as I am.

How about a settlement right here?

No way, I guess.

One for you and one for me. - Some consideration for me too.

One for you and one for me.

One for you and one for me.

One for you and one for me.

One for you and one for me.

One for you and one for me.

One for you and one for me.

One for you and one for me.

Make it fast, Ghasitaram.

Coming.

Finished. - Finished? Where's the pouch?

Pouch? God! In the course I distributed that too.

All right. Drive.

What's this? - This?

I wouldn't lie to you, sir. The beggars here are very rich.

I have saved some for the poor ones of the temple in our backyard.

Give me the pouch. I'll give them. He says, he saved for them!

Move it now. Here's your cap.

Call your master.

Please come.

How are you? - I am fine.

What's your name? - Ghasitaram. I hate myself...

and my father who chose this name. Blessed be the name of poetry...

for it has made a lover out of me. By the way, what's your name?

I don't know.

But Mr. Chauffeur, I'm from the village between Ghazipur and Mirzapur.

Shut up! Do I look like a chauffeur? - You don't look like a policeman.

The one who drives a car is called a chauffeur in our village.

Now look, I am not a chauffeur. I'm a poet. Someday I'll go to Bombay.

I'll write songs for movies and earn millions.

We used to be together night and day. And now we meet after 10 long years.

I felt like letting go in front of everyone...

and to hell with you Mr. Barrister. - And to hell with your status.

The embrace put all the sour-feelings away.

I have one. You vanished from Dehradun like youth does.

And you traveled all over the world but forgot my house.

I couldn't, since the schedules were hectic.

Now that you have come, makes me happy.

Tell me how is Archana? I hear, she is studying in Switzerland.

She did go there but she came back. - Why?

She didn't like it. I am here to get an admission for her...

in the University. - I see.

I have bought a house in Delhi. - Great! It means you'll stay here?

No, buddy. I am going to England to solve some company matters.

I'll be away for about ten months.

Did you recognize him? - Your son?

You think he is my neighbor's son, do you?

A son like Rakesh can only be begotten by a father like me.

So proud of your mistake? - Not proud, but honored.

May God bless everyone with a son like him.

Really? Is he that worthy? What does he do?

He is obsessed with studies. At present he is into research.

Friends, my research says that there are four types of girls.

Four types? - That's right.

Useless fellow! Always working on papers.

Try doing practicals.

I want everyone of you to have a better lifestyle.

But you are as adamant as a dog's tail.

Don't! Don't say that.

I always try to follow the footsteps of a learned person like you.

But the sandals of many girls have broken my heart...

and many glasses too.

Today's mistake embarrasses me. Please proceed. What were you saying?

I said, my research says there are four types of girls.

Really? - Yes.

Like? - Listen.

"Hear ye all"

"Hear ye all"

"Hear the description of woman from a learned man"

"Mark my words, there a four types of woman"

"Hear ye all"

"One is like water, other is fire"

"The third is love struck"

"And the best to pick..."

"is the one who belongs neither to me nor others"

"One is like water, other is fire"

"The third is love struck"

"And the best to pick..."

"is the one who belongs neither to me nor others"

"Hear ye all"

"Oh, the women of my country"

"They devour gold, diamonds and precious jewels"

"Oh, the women of my country"

"Ruined are the men who have fallen in love with me"

"My life turned into bliss And his, hell"

"No one do I care for"

"No one do I care for Dead are the men who touched me"

"Hear ye all"

"You promised to turn up yesterday"

"But you failed even today"

"You liar, you sinner May you be ruined"

"Never love a gambler"

"They are unpredictable"

"Never love a gambler"

"Never love a gambler"

"It's better to drown in a handful of water"

"Never love a gambler"

"Never love a gambler"

"I'll renounce everything Because of you, my beloved"

"I'll renounce everything Because of you, my beloved"

"Because of you, my beloved"

"I'll renounce everything Because of you, my beloved"

"You are a fraud Your love is a fake"

"You are indeed an ass"

"Devour a dish of bell plant"

"I have locked my heart And I am off to fantasy land"

"I am off to fantasy land Because of you, my beloved"

"Because of you, my beloved"

"I'll renounce everything Because of you, my beloved"

"Sometimes I am his Sometimes his"

"Sometimes yours Sometimes his"

"Though I might look as smooth as a whisky"

"But I am a tough shot to swallow"

"You liar"

"Now it is your wish"

"Now it is your wish My heartless love"

"Now it is your wish"

"It is your wish, my love"

"Now it is your wish"

"He is my love I have lost everything to him"

"Here sits the hunted Surrounded by the hunters"

"With their feverish ugly faces"

"With their feverish ugly faces"

"Someone is wealthy And someone broke"

"Now it is your wish"

"Now it is your wish My heartless love"

"Now it is your wish"

Stop!

There's a fifth type of a girl too.

Lightning strikes when she talks. A storm rises when she walks.

Impossible!

Impossible! Such a girl has never entered our University yet.

She has, guru.

Which means my research is incomplete, is it?

Even God failed to understand woman.

Where do we stand? - Come on. Show me.

No. She is very dangerous. I just missed her sandals.

No girl is born to hit me. Come on.

I'll show her from a distance. - Fine. Come on.

Change this dress, will you?

Miss, I don't know your likes. Which is why I brought a variety.

Pick the flower you like. Please.

Who are you? - The world calls me your lover.

Lout! - No luck?

Don't you have women folks at home? - No.

Why do you whistle? - A hobby. Since childhood.

And my hobby is beating up men with shoes. What now?

That's a bad hobby.

Mister, this flirting will prove your costly.

I am not the one to tolerate remarks passed by men.

Try this again, and you'll get a fitting reply. Understand?

Here... - Take this.

There. He gets it for me.

What happened, Kamal? - Nothing.

That's what you get for decency.

Join me. I'll give it back to her in a minute.

It suits the likes of you to mess with girls, not me.

And it suits the likes of you to get beaten up, not me.

There is ecstasy in your intoxicating eyes.

Enough for the reveler to be rewarded.

I can imagine the nightingales singing in my heart.

When like the monsoon clouds your dark tresses lie in disarray.

I am yours truly, your lover.

My handwriting is a bit bad.

But I left no stones unturned to express my love.

What do you think? - The Vice Chancellor will tell you.

This letter is evidence enough to...

While trying to expose our love...

all of a sudden the evidence of my proposal was wiped out.

Why are you silent? You look exquisite when you speak.

"O my love I am yours. Only yours"

"O my love I am yours. Only yours"

"I'll hide all your sorrows in my eyes"

"O my love I am yours. Only yours"

"I'll hide all your sorrows in my eyes"

"O my love I am yours. Only yours"

"Don't lose your temper on trivial matters"

"Don't get ecstatic after breaking hearts"

"It humiliates love My love"

"It will cost love dear"

"You won't find lovers in the bazaar"

"On seeing you they will run at sixty kilometers per hour"

"Then you will break out into a love song"

"You will scream And bang your head into walls"

"O my love I am yours. Only yours"