That's My Boy

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

Yes?

I've got a lady in Reception wants to see someone in charge.

She's ever so cross.

Ever so cross?

Sounds like Mrs. Willis.

I'm out.

And I'm in.

Tea please, in a cup, not a mug, and hurry up.

Well, don't gawp.

Is that OK?

Right, which one of you's going to take

down me particulars today.

Pardon?

Who's Who's going to handle me?

I-- I think it's your turn, George, isn't it?

Don't you want to handle me?

Well, it's not that.

I just handled you last week.

Yeah, so you did.

I'll talk to him.

Fine, fine.

I'll just go and see how Brenda's doing with the tea.

Uh, leave the door ajar, please.

Right.

Get me file out.

Willis, Ida Matilda.

It's the thick one at the bottom.

Oh, yes, yes, here we are.

Now, let's see.

Oh, you only started with the Harrises on Monday.

-Correct. -And today's Tuesday.

I could've told you that.

Didn't they found you satisfactory?

Have you heard from them?

What lies have they been telling you?

We-- we haven't heard a word from them.

You will, as soon as they read that letter

I pinned to their waterbed.

You You put a pin in their waterbed?

High I burst their little bubble.

Such goings on.

You sent me to work in a love nest.

I didn't spot it at the interview.

Spot what?

Are you a married man?

Yes.

You can talk to me.

I didn't mean that.

What has your wife got under her wedding ring?

A finger?

Yes.

With a white mark on it.

Mrs. Harris's finger had no such mark.

How do you know?

Well, she took her ring off to run her fingers

through his hair.

And they'd not long had their dinner.

I don't think that's very conclusive.

Don't you?

Well, where's their wedding album?

You tell me that.

I had that place to pieces.

Perhaps they haven't got a wedding album.

Well, of course they haven't, 'cause they

never had a wedding.

All I want is a nice young married couple.

Well, that's straightforward enough.

With documentary evidence that she's on the pill

or he's been done.

Done?

Done.

Arranged.

Seen to.

Had a vasectomy.

We don't live in the Dark Ages.

Ah, well, there-- there's a young couple here,

but I don't know whether or not he's been done.

Well, ring him up and ask him.

He's a doctor.

He works in a busy hospital.

Good.

Then if he hasn't been done, he's in the right place

to get done.

Don't you like children?

That's a very personal question.

And so is, "Have you been done?"

I don't see the connection.

What does the wife do?

Oh, you are not going to like this.

She's a midwife.

She's a model.

Clothed or unclothed?

It's Bit of each, I think.

Good.

Then she won't be risking stretchmarks.

Well, they sound eminently suitable.

Give them a ring and fix an interview.

Couldn't you carry the biscuits as well?

Here. Here we are.

Dr. and Mrs. Price.

I'll just see if their in.

Oh, just a minute.

How long have they been on your books?

Quite Quite some time, I'm afraid.

Good.

I like 'em desperate.

Hello, Mother.

Oh, I just thought it might be.

You phoned six times in the last half hour.

Angie isn't back and Mrs. Thing isn't here yet.

Mrs. Willis.

I don't know why it rings a bell, Mother.

Look, I must go.

Did she ever live where?

Look, I don't know the woman.

I don't know where she lived.

Oh, hang on, here's Angie.

It's my mother.

I'm not here.

Oh, false alarm.

It was the paper boy.

-Read all about it! -I must go.

I'll phone you later.

Bye.

Why does my mother ring once a month

and yours ring once a day?

Ah, because she's not my mother.

We're not moving, are we?

No, I'm--

I'm putting ornaments in a box.

What do you mean, she's not your mother?

She's had you since you were three months old.

Well, five.

I had two teeth.

Only two?

Whey are you putting ornaments away?

Well, two's not bad for five months.

Oh, because we don't want her to think

-there'll be a lot of work. -Who?

Mrs. Willis, our new housekeeper.

She's not our new housekeeper yet, you know.

Oh, she will be, if we like her.

We must like her.

Oh, please, God, let's like her.

Because we need her.

So you keep saying.

I think it's a ridiculous expense.

We manage perfectly well.

You manage, Angie, because nothing

you wear needs ironing and nothing you eat needs cooking.

She's got two arms, two legs, and two pennyworth of brain

cells, I'm taking her on.

That's all very fine and fancy, but how--

- -Ah, there she is now.

Quick!

Hide these in the bathroom and take all those tights

off the towel rail.

And-- and go and answer the door.

Don't you talk to me like that.

I'm not a student nurse.

Am I the master of this house or not?

No, you are not.

You're a male chauvinist pig.

Oh, are those for me?

No, they're not.

They're for her.

Do come through, Mrs. Willis,

and meet the master of the house.

The what?

That's what he likes to be called.

Ooh, does he?

Give in to that and you'll live to regret it.

Break him in early.

I know.

How do you do?

This'll be him, I suppose.

Yes, this is me. How do you do?

Pleased to meet you.

I shan't need you.

What?

It's the lady I've come to see.

No, actually, it's me you're here to see.

Well, I have now, haven't I?

I'll give you a shout if I want you again.

Oh, but--

Don't "but."

Goats butt.

Now run along!

Bye!

What does he do for a living?

He's a doctor.

Oh, yeah, they told me.

I don't hold with it, you know.

Doctoring, boys of his age.

He did do five years' training.